Take a Look At Me Now
by PodSara
Summary: Quistis helps a homeless man who can't remember his past. Is she the key to his lost memories? More important, does he really want to know the truth about himself?
1. The Hobo

**TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW**

_Prequel to The Devil's Playground_

__

_"So take a look at me now_

_There's just an empty space_

_There's nothing left here to remind me_

_just the memory of your face . . ."_

~Phil Colins, Against All Odds

**Chapter One**

The Hobo

Quistis Trepe walked the streets of Deling City to pass the time before her train back to Balamb Garden arrived. She had nearly three hours to kill, and at that hour of the night, all the shops were closed. The only place still open was the Hotel bar, and a dance club near the edge of town. She might have passed the time at either, had she not been alone, however the prospect of fending off horny middle-aged men as she sat at the bar by herself did not appeal to her. Nor did she feel up to answering questions about her past. Likely, she'd be recognized, so she preferred to walk the streets where she was more or less anonymous. 

In the aftermath of the Second Sorceress War, she and her friends had become cultural Icons. Everywhere they went, they were recognized, hounded by press, sought after for any reason at all by important officials and private citizens alike. The last two years had been maddening. They could hardly leave Garden for fear of being chased down, hounded by townspeople, and by the tourists who'd come just to catch a glimpse of the local heroes. The craziness had died down somewhat in the last few months, but there was still the occasional run in with people who assumed they knew everything about her, yet knew nothing. 

Missions had been nearly impossible for the Fated Children these last two years, and they were limited to those involving amnesty and diplomacy. Most frequent were the invitations to attend World Summit gatherings and the like. This held true for Quistis' current assignment. She'd spent nearly two weeks in Deling regarding an impending alliance between Esthar and Galbadia. She wasn't for the idea, since traditionally, Galbadia was a nation bent on war, however, the country's days of dictatorship were over. For the first time in a hundred years, elections had been held by popular vote following the death of Vinzer Deling, and of all people, General Caraway had been elected into office. Quistis could only hope that things would change for the better, though she felt Caraway was a questionable choice for President. However, Laguna Loire, Esthar's President had once served under Caraway while in the Galbadian Army, and he said the man could be trusted. Quistis hoped this was true, for if not, it meant trouble for the world. 

Near the shopping arcade, Quistis noticed several people standing near the entrance to a small bar that boasted the best Mimmett in the world, and she crossed to the other side to avoid being recognized. That was the last thing she needed. Every now and then, a young man proposed his hand in marriage. Quistis found this terribly uncomfortable. She'd once accepted a date from an admirer in Balamb, and had sorely disappointed the young man. Whatever his expectations of her, she'd failed, for he never called on her again. No, proposals were merely a reminder of how flawed and pathetic she really was. They were a reminder of the lack of love in her life, of how utterly unlovable she was. 

Whatever, she didn't want to deal with it tonight. Especially when she'd just gotten word that Squall had finally proposed to Rinoa. She was happy for them, but at the same time, depressed that it was Rinoa he'd fallen in love with and not her. She didn't begrudge them their happiness either, but she couldn't help but feel jealous that they'd found each other and she was still alone. 

Everyone had paired up but Quistis, and she often felt left out at social gatherings because she was the only one minus a date. Zell had married the Library Girl, Zoe, last spring. Selphie and Irvine had been married almost two years, and now, Rinoa and Squall would tie the knot too. 

Quistis didn't even have a boyfriend. 

Disgusted with herself, she kicked at a rock and sent it flying down the sidewalk, right into the leg of a sleeping hobo. The man groaned and sat up. Quistis was briefly disgusted at the sight of him in his tattered pants and overcoat. He wore a snow cap upon his head, the long hair that poked out from underneath was a dingy blonde, and he sported a scraggly beard, full of something that she couldn't, and didn't want to, identify. And the smell. Great Hyne, the smell. The mixture of body odor, dirt, cheap wine, and urine was enough to make her gag, but she instantly felt guilty as he rubbed his leg. "I'm so sorry," she said and crouched down beside him. "I didn't see you there." 

"It's all right," the man said and he rubbed the injury a little. "No one ever does. When you live like I do, it's easy to be invisible." 

There was something familiar about him. He was young, perhaps her age, though she couldn't see his eyes in the shadows. "I feel terrible," she said, and then gasped as he looked up at her. This hobo was more than familiar, he was someone she knew quite well, in fact. "Seifer?" she asked and she couldn't help but gape at him in disbelief. 

"I used to be called that," he said and he scratched at the beard on his chin. He didn't appear to remember her. 

"Seifer, it's me, Quistis," she prompted. "From Garden? And the orphanage?" 

"Quistis . . ." he murmured, but his eyes showed no sign of recognition. 

At that moment, Quistis Trepe knew that she couldn't leave him there like that. He may have done some terrible things, but he didn't deserve to die in the street, though she knew some might disagree with her. Some would say he deserved what he got, but Quistis didn't believe that. Anything would have been better than living on the street, in her opinion. If it had been her, she would prefer to live the rest of her days in prison, rather than slowly rot away on a sidewalk. 

"Come on," she said and offered her hand. 

He looked at it as if it were a poisonous snake that might strike him at any moment. "Leave me alone." 

"Seifer," she said. "I'm trying to help you." 

"Why?" 

"Because I want to."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Seifer refused to go with her until she promised him a bottle of liqueur and a pack of cigarettes. She purchased both with him in tow, though they received many strange glances as they passed. Some people felt the need to shout comments their way, others merely laughed at the sight of the lovely blonde woman leading a drunken hobo around. Quistis took it all in stride. Nothing they said mattered, and she refused to let their words hurt her. Seifer however seemed to shrink a little more as each statement was hurled their way. 

At the Hotel, the desk clerk wrinkled her nose as they approached, but she smiled at Quistis. "Ms. Trepe!" the young woman said. "We didn't expect you back so soon. What can I do for you?" 

"I'll be staying longer than I planned," Quistis said, all business. "I would like your best room, please." 

The clerk leaned forward and eyed Seifer with suspicion. "Would you like me to call security?" she asked in a hushed whisper. 

"Of course not," Quistis said. "He's with me."  
  
  
"Ms. Trepe, with all due respect, this is a proper establishment. We don't accept his kind here." 

"What do you mean, 'His Kind?'" she asked, and she felt her anger rise to the surface. 

"Well, he's a bum," the clerk replied. 

"This man is my friend. I am a paying customer. Should you refuse us, I must insist that Garden sever all ties with your establishment," Quistis said authoritatively. "Garden has used this Hotel quite frequently in the last two years, and I believe there is even a special room devoted to SeeD, is there not?"  
  
  
"Of course, ma'am," the clerk said. "SeeD is one of our best customers. We rely on your business." 

"Then, I would like a room for me and my friend." 

With great reluctance, the clerk reached for a key. "I'll need a damage deposit this time." 

"That shouldn't be a problem," Quistis replied and handed the girl a thousand Gil note. "This should cover it. Oh, and I'd like a selection of men's clothing sent up in the morning. All kinds, all styles. Preferably from a place that caters to tall men." 

"Of course," the clerk said and placed the key into Quistis' hand. "Enjoy your stay." 

As she walked away, Seifer close behind her, Quistis was thankful that she'd learned Rinoa's way of demanding rather than asking. She smiled to herself as they stepped onto the elevator.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Street Rat couldn't quite place this gorgeous blonde who called him by his old name and had coaxed him from the street. No one had called him that in a long time, so of course she had to be someone from his former life. Someone from the days before Ultimecia devoured his soul and left him an empty shell. The days he could no longer remember. There were still traces of what he'd once been in his memory, but when he tried to recall the events that had lead to this, he found he could not. 

And he wasn't sure if he wanted to remember. He remembered enough of Ultimecia to wish that he'd forgotten her as well, but that was something that would remain with him for the rest of his life. He would always remember the way she'd crept into his mind and seized it, bent him, and turned him inside out. He would always remember the pain she inflicted when he resisted. To put it accurately, the only memories he had were of her. Everything else was fragmented, like a jagged reflection in a broken mirror. He knew he'd been called 'Seifer,' but he couldn't remember anything about who Seifer was. Seifer might as well be dead, for all he knew. He might have been imaginary, someone Street Rat had made up to keep himself company. 

Every now and then, he snuck a glance at the blonde, Quistis, as he stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. She'd handed over a fortune on his behalf, and he was reluctant to sit down upon the fine upholstery, for he was suddenly aware of the filth that surrounded him. He wasn't worthy of sitting on the textured brocade chairs, that much he knew. 

What he didn't understand was, why did this woman insist upon helping him? Who was she to him? What could she possibly want from a street urchin like himself? 

She _was_ lovely though. Her hair was the color of wheat, and it was so shiny under the gas lamps that he couldn't help but think it was made of pure gold. He wondered if it was as soft as it looked, and then mentally kicked himself. This woman would sooner run screaming from the room than let him find out. 

Her face was that of a classic beauty, like Diana, Athena, Aphrodite . . . she had the face of a Goddess. It was a face he wouldn't have forgotten had he known her. His mind told him he _didn't_ know her, but his heart told him a different story, and he thought perhaps, she might be someone he could trust, though he had no way of knowing this. 

The truth was, he'd been waiting for a long time to validate his belief that he'd once been someone named Seifer. Of late, he'd been doubting his sanity, and for her to come along and acknowledge him by that name was a relief. As reluctant as he was to learn the truth about who he'd been before Ultimecia, he hoped silently that she would be the key to all his lost memories. For good or bad, he needed to know. 

"Seifer, sit down, will you?" she asked and extended her hand towards one of the chairs. 

"It's Street Rat," he said. "No one calls me Seifer." 

She stared at him, uncomprehending. 

"I haven't been Seifer in two years," he said. "I don't even know who Seifer was. I just know that I used to be called that." 

"Maybe I can help you remember, then," she suggested. "But first, a bath."   
  
  
  
  
  
  


Quistis drew a bath in the oversized tub and she poured in a healthy amount of complimentary bubble solution. Seifer didn't know it yet, but the bath was for him, not her. He needed one as badly as he needed a decent meal and a roof over his head. 

He still didn't seem to remember her, though Quistis had to wonder if it was an act. She'd caught him eying her with gratitude a couple of times, and she could have sworn that there was some recognition there. It was obvious that she'd been the first in a long time to show him kindness, and perhaps this was the reason for his reluctance to admit he knew her. Perhaps he feared she'd do something terrible to him once he let his guard down. 

Still, he'd sounded sincere when he'd said he couldn't remember who Seifer was. Perhaps he had amnesia. Maybe his experience with Ultimecia had been so terrible, he'd blocked everything out in order to keep from going crazy. Quistis had heard this happend sometimes after a traumatic experience, and she considered that it might be the case with Seifer. 

"All right, mister," she said as she exited the bathroom. "Go to it. There's shampoo and soap next to the tub, and you'll find some razors by the sink, though I apologize that they're lady shavers." 

He stared at her blankly. He still hadn't taken a seat, and for a moment, he looked as if he might run. 

"Please," she said softly. "I'm trying to help you." 

"What do you want from me?" he asked as his green eyes rested upon her hair, and then upon her lips. 

"Nothing," she answered honestly. She wanted nothing from him except to know that he'd be all right. 

"If I wanted to leave right now, would you try and stop me?" 

"I couldn't stop you if you truly wanted to go," she said as she took his dirty hand in hers. "But I have a feeling, you want me to help you." 

He closed his eyes and sighed. "If you can help me remember who I am," he said softly, "I'll do anything you ask."   
  
  
  
  
  


****Notes****   


I'm not sure why I'm starting this, since I have two others I haven't yet finished, but I kind of liked the idea, and thought you might too. This IS a prequel to 'The Devil's Playground' but you don't have to read either story to understand the other, I just wanted to write a Quifer/Seiftis and figured it would be easiest to combine the two. Don't know yet if this will be long or short, but it will at least cover some of their romance. It really depends on how many reviews I get, how interested people are in reading it. I won't continue if no one is reading it. 

I realize that there are several 'Seifer has Amnesia' fics out there, and I haven't read them yet, but it is a good premise to get the story rolling. It won't last too long, I don't suppose, since there is a bit of a timeline here that must correspond with 'The Devil's Playground' and I do have to stick with that. Anyway, this is a little bit off the top of my head, so I have my doubts about it's quality, and I hope I haven't unintentionally replicated someone else's work. 

That said, please read and review. Let me know if I should post more or not.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. In the Winter Time

**TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW**

**_Prequel to The Devil's Playground_**

_"And everything I can't remember_

_as fucked up as it all may seem to be_

_I know it's me . . ."_

~Staind, _It's Been a While_

_"Grabbing for me with her eyes_

_now I've fallen from her skies . . ."_

~The Guess Who, _No Sugar Tonight_

**Chapter Two**

In the Winter Time

Street Rat sat on the train, in the SeeD cabin, of all places, staring anxiously out the window, though there was nothing but the walls of the underwater tunnel for him to gaze at. He'd spent the last three days with Quistis, yet he'd remembered little about his past. He was frustrated, and a little disappointed in himself. Quistis had spent so much time and effort in helping him, and he could tell she'd become a bit frustrated with him too. 

He knew the story now, of the orphan boy who went to the finest military academy in the world to become a mercenary. The boy had great potential, but wasted it on a power hungry sorceress and empty promises. Quistis had told him everything about himself, or rather, about Seifer Almasy, and the only parts he remembered were the ones regarding Ultimecia. These other sorceresses that Quistis spoke of, Adel, Edea and Rinoa, Street Rat could not recall them. Nor could he recall any of the people from the 'Orphanage Gang,' and he found it a little upsetting. Perhaps he wasn't this Seifer Almasy after all, and a little part of him hoped that he really was just a street rat, and not this man who'd done horrid things in the name of glory. 

"We're nearly to Balamb," Quistis informed him, and she gave him a light squeeze on the shoulder. 

Street Rat was drawn to her eyes as he'd been so many times over the last few days. There was a cool professionalism there that masked a deep vulnerability which he understood she wished to keep secret from the world. Her fragility was easy enough to read, should one care to look beyond the surface, and Street Rat could see how her businesslike demeanor hid what was really going on. He was curious, but he knew better than to ask, for she was the kind of woman who would hide her true self from everyone but the man she gave her heart to. It wasn't his place to inquire upon it anyhow, and a woman like this would never be interested in a man like him. He was street trash, and maybe, if he truly was Seifer Almasy, he might also be called a murderer. 

"Sure this is a good idea?" he asked as he shifted in his seat and forced himself to tear his eyes away from hers. 

"No, I'm not," she said. "But I can't think of any other way for you to remember." 

"Maybe it's best if I don't. Doesn't sound like I was a very nice guy." 

"You weren't," she said with a chuckle. "But part of you must have been good for you to be as you are now." 

Street Rat didn't have any reply to that. He couldn't exactly say he was good, for he'd made his living as a thief. To eat, he'd had to steal. Wallets, mostly. And he had served Ultimecia, that Hyneforsaken bitch who'd raped his mind and made him promises she'd never meant to keep. 

"Besides, as your instructor, I had high hopes for you," she continued. "Maybe, I still do." 

"Why?" 

Quistis cocked her head to the side and gave him a warm smile. "Because you have potential." 

He didn't know what to make of that. Maybe Seifer had potential, but what of Street Rat? Did he have potential? The only way to find out, he supposed was to go along with her, though it made him nervous. He already knew that whomever Quistis had spoken to on the phone was not happy about having him around, and he anticipated a lot of hostility, and for good reason. What Seifer had done was wrong, and if what Quistis said was correct, he had a lot of apologizing to do. 

When the train arrived, Street Rat followed Quistis to the exit, and he watched her long, slender legs beneath the peach colored skirt of her dress. He found it difficult to believe that this beauty was an ex-mercenary, and even harder to fathom that she was Lt. Commander of SeeD and one of the Fated that had taken down Ultimecia. She seemed so frail and so young to have such a history, but he knew from experience that appearances were often deceiving. 

He followed her out of the station and had to smile at her delight as they discovered nearly two feet of snow covered the tiny village of Balamb. "It's never snowed here before," she said, as if she had to explain herself. "I hope they sent a car for us." 

Garden had not sent a car, due to the weather, and to further complicate matters, the car rental offices were closed. "I suppose we'll just have to walk it. You don't have a weapon, though." 

"Do I need one?" 

"Of course," she said. "There are a lot of monsters outside of town. They're not tough, but there are enough of them out there that we'll eventually have to fight." 

Quistis purchased a funny looking sword that had a revolver as a handle at the local junk shop, and she gave it to him with a smile. It was a smile full of expectance, but Street Rat didn't understand what it was that she expected. 

"What the hell do I do with this?" he asked as he fingered the trigger. The blade had a certain familiarity about it, and he was sure he'd seen one before, but wasn't sure where. 

"You're supposed to . . . never mind," she said, and her disappointment was evident in her eyes. "It's called a gunblade." 

"Gunblade," he mumbled and he ran his finger along the edge of the blade. It was sharp enough to draw blood and he nodded his approval. 

Once on the road, it wasn't long before they encountered their first monster, a bite bug. Street Rat drew the blade and lunged at the creature. Instinct took over, and he slashed the blade downward before it could attack. He depressed the trigger at the correct moment, just as the tip of the blade made contact with it's body, and the bite bug shuddered and fell to the ground. 

"Nice," Quistis said as she put away her custom whip, which she called "Queenie," short for Save the Queen. "Seems you remember how to use that thing." 

"It's the damnedest thing, instructor. I can't remember anything of my past, but I remember how to use this frickin' thing," he said and scratched his chin. 

Quistis smiled broadly at him and shook her head. 

"What?" 

"You called me instructor."   
  
  
  
  


The pair arrived at Garden's front gate two hours later, and both were cold, tired and hungry. Since they'd arrived, Quistis had seen a faint improvement in Seifer's memory. They were little things he remembered, but at least it was progress. In these last three days, she'd decided it would be her goal to bring Seifer back to Garden and reform him. She'd seen a side of him that she'd never dreamed existed. She wouldn't exactly say that he was kind, but he was at least humble and reserved, with only a hint of the biting sarcasm she remembered from before. She suspected that this was the real Seifer, and that the pride and sarcasm she'd seen in him before was merely a front for the person he really was. She hoped this was true, and she prayed that she wasn't making a mistake. 

"Recognize it?" she asked as she stood beside the tall young man. He stood gazing up at Garden with a hint of a smile upon his face. 

He nodded slowly and bit his lip. 

Quistis was pleased as she lead him up the steps and pushed open the gate. What she saw there on Garden's front lawn, which was covered in snow, was nothing short of comedy. Two snow forts hand been erected on either side of the walkway, and behind each, people were busying firing snow balls at the other side. As Quistis drew closer, she noticed that behind the fort on the right was the bulk of Garden Staff. Behind the one on the left were SeeDs and Cadets. Her friends were all on the left, and they laughed and cheered each other on as each side hurled snowballs at the other. 

"Take that!" Headmaster Cid cried as he tossed a snowball at Zell, which hit the boy in the chest. Cid threw his hands in the air in victory and Quistis had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. The very idea of a Garden wide snowball fight was something she found quite funny. She'd never seen Cid so carefree before, and the sight of him acting like a kid made her want to join them. If Seifer hadn't been with her, she would have. There were several people she would have loved to peg with a ball of packed ice. 

"I'll get you for that," Zell called back as he retrieved a freshly made snowball from the pile. The threw it with all his strength, but it missed Cid by a mile. 

"Serves you right," Cid said and thumbed his nose at Zell. "You guys should be over here, you know!" 

"Never!" Zell cried and threw two more, this time at the lunch lady. "Hey! Order more hotdogs or pay the price!" 

Seifer laughed out loud at this and shook his head. "Chickenwuss," he said and scooped up a handful of snow. 

Quistis saw what he was about to do and stopped him, even though she recognized that Seifer remembered something else. "I would advise against that. Zell is likely to come after you," she said. 

She noticed that Squall, too, was there, and he seemed to be enjoying himself as much as anyone else. A snowball smacked him upside the head, and Xu called out, "Hey Squall, shouldn't you be over here with the staff?" 

"Article 44-2A: _SeeD commander must at all times be prepared to stand behind his operatives. At any given time the commander may be required to take part in battle._" Squall quoted and hurled a snowball at her. 

It hit her in the breast, and she scowled at him. "Traitor!" she cried and flung another one his way. 

Quistis took Seifer by the arm and lead him toward the melee, though she very much didn't want to ruin their fun. She didn't exactly want to stand out in the cold any longer either, so she forced herself to keep walking. The closer they got, the more eyes she noticed upon them. Fewer and fewer snowballs crossed the divide until there were none at all, and every pair of eyes were upon them. The silence was uncomfortable, and Quistis couldn't help but notice how tense Seifer had become. 

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Zell said in anger. His voice shattered the quiet that had stolen over the group, and it sounded harsh against the silence . He glared at Seifer and appeared as though he was ready for a fight. 

"Zell, cool it," Squall said and he approached Quistis, his expression serious. "Welcome back," he told her, and then nodded to Seifer. "You're here on good faith. Quistis has explained the situation, and as long as you behave, you may stay." 

"Squall!" Zell protested. 

"Quiet!" Squall commanded without looking at Zell. "Quistis. I trust your judgment. But if you're wrong . . . ." 

"I'm not wrong," she insisted. Seifer stared at his feet, and Quistis gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. She knew that he was nervous, and to have them talk about him as if he wasn't even there must have been terribly uncomfortable. 

"But if you are . . ." 

"Squall, could we discuss this in your office later?" She asked, eager to get inside where it was warm, inside where there post full of coffee and cozy beds with soft blankets. 

"Of course," Squall said. "We haven't prepared a room, but I suppose you wouldn't mind putting him up in your spare room, would you?" 

Quistis shook her head and looked at him gratefully. "We won't let you down, Squall."   
  
  


Street Rat was painfully aware of the eyes on him as they passed between the two forts. He could feel their cold, angry stares, and he was certain, if any one of them possessed the power to make him spontaneously burst into flames, they would have done so. Their hatred was so intense, his ears burned, and he wanted to run as far away from this place as he could. 

The thing was, the moment he'd looked up at Garden, he'd known he was home. He knew it was the only home he'd really ever known, and he knew both his past and future revolved around this place. He could feel it deep inside him. As they entered the building, Quistis held on tight to his arm. Hazy, distant memories teased at his mind. All were too brief to mean anything, but everything he saw triggered something akin to familiarity. 

As he walked, he realized that the young man she'd spoken to earlier had a scar between his eyes. A scar, just like his own. He reached up and rubbed it thoughtfully. Though he could not remember how it had happened, he heard for a brief second the sound of metal striking metal, the sound of blade against blade. And then, he heard the voice of Ultimecia whisper inside his head. He shook it off and continued walking at Quistis' side. 

The hallways were thankfully empty, since the majority of Garden was still on the lawn, but he noticed the few they did happen to pass also glared at him with venomous hatred. One young woman even dared to call him a bastard as they passed, and she spit at his feet in disgust. 

"Shiana Zant!" Quistis cried as she let go of his arm and confronted the girl. "I insist you apologize immediately." 

"Forgive me instructor, but" the girl said as she threw daggers at him with her eyes, "this man is responsible for the death of my brother. I'm afraid I can't apologize." 

"You can and you will or I'll see to it that you spend the next two weeks in detention," Quistis said and she placed her hands upon her hips. 

"I'll take the detention, then," the girl said indignantly. "I won't apologize." 

Street Rat once again stared down at his feet. He couldn't explain the terrible guilt he felt at hearing he was to blame for killing the girl's family. How could he tell her that he'd acted against his will? 

"I'll see you in my office, first thing tomorrow," Quistis told the girl, then led him to the elevator, and on up to a room where she fitted a key into the lock. 

The space behind the door was large, more like a small apartment than a room, and he noted it was decorated in tasteful shades of tan and cream. There was a cream couch and love seat made of a fine, soft leather, and a natural wood coffee table with a smoky glass top with end tables and lamps to match. The place was clean and organized, save the tiny kitchen table, which was covered in file folders, books and stacks of paper. It was obvious that she did not take her meals there, rather, it was used as a desk, though he supposed she had an office somewhere in the building. He guessed that once she left her office, she came directly here to continue her work. 

_What kind of life was this?_ he wondered to himself as he pulled the door closed behind them and eyed the table again. He wondered if her work even left her time for romance or fun. 

And then, he remembered something. 

Something. 

About a romantic dream.   
  
  
  


Quists poured two cups of coffee and carried them to the couch, where Seifer sat staring at a photograph of them when they were children, at the orphanage. His eyes moved from one face to the next, and she swore she saw a little bit of recognition in his face as she sat down and placed one cup in front of him. 

"Thank you," he murmured as he picked up the cup. His eyes did not leave the photo as he took a sip. 

"Does that help any?" she asked and nodded towards the framed photograph in his hands. 

"The lighthouse in the background," he said and pointed to it. "I remember something about fireworks." 

Quistis laughed out loud. Of all things for him to recall! She moved to sit next to him so that she could see the photo better. "Matron caught you and Irvine setting off bottle rockets inside. You wanted to see if they'd blow the roof off." 

Seifer laughed too, and shook his head. "What a brat I was," he said and he pointed to the picture again. "This one," he said. "He's your commander now?" 

Quistis saw that he pointed to Squall and she nodded. Unlike the rest of the children in the photo, Squall stood apart from the group without a trace of a smile on his face. "Do you remember him?" 

"Only that he cried a lot, after Matron turned the lights out," he said. "Hard to believe that little crybaby became a commander." 

"That little crybaby kicked your butt on a number of occasions," she said and she let a hint of a smile play across her lips. She recalled the rivalry that had been born there at the orphanage. Seifer would pick at Squall all day long, just to start a fight. Most of the time, Squall would ignore him, but sometimes, when Seifer had gone too far, Squall would fight back. Quistis remembered the respect she'd felt at seeing that quiet little boy stand up for himself when he needed to. And, she remembered her annoyance with Seifer for being so antagonistic. This was the basis for their rivalry at Garden, though the two never realized it. 

"He gave me this scar, didn't he," Seifer said and he fingered the slender, puckered scar between his eyes. It wasn't a question, but a statement. 

"And you gave him his," she said. Her coffee cup was empty and she rose to refill it. "You two were enemies, so to speak," she said as she filled her cup. "The thing is, I always thought you two could have been the best of friends, if either you had ever dared to let down your guard." 

There was more to it than that, but Quistis was tired and wasn't up to explaining. Perhaps, now, the two _could_ become friends. That is, if Squall would let him in. Squall hadn't been happy about her bringing Seifer back to Garden, but she refused to take NO for an answer in this case. Most of the time, she didn't mind his veto because he was usually right. But this time, Quistis knew Squall had let his feelings get in the way, and she could feel in her bones that he was wrong. Seifer was part of the orphanage gang, like it or not, and he belonged with them.   
  
  
  
  


Late that night, long after Quistis had retired, she woke to the sound of a man's voice screaming. For a moment, she was unsure of who it was, or where it was coming from, but as she sat up, she remembered Seifer was in the next room. She threw off the cover and cringed as her bare feet hit the cold floor. With a yawn, she pulled on her robe and headed to the spare room to find out what the problem was. 

Seifer was still screaming as she entered the room, his face contorted in what looked like pain, and Quistis rushed to his side. She shook him to bring him out of it, but he continued to scream until his voice gave out and he could only utter small whimpers and groans. His body was slick with perspiration, and he trembled as he fought away her hands that reached out to provide comfort. Something had spooked the hell out of him. 

"Get her out of my head," he said in a choked, hoarse voice. "Make her go away!" 

"Make who go away?" she asked as she reached out once again to stroke his arm. 

"Make her go away," he pleaded, his eyes full of fear and panic. 

Quistis found it sad and pathetic to see him like this. He was like a child, really, in this state, and she couldn't help but wrap her arms around him and draw him to her breast as if he were a frightened little boy. There, he sobbed against her nightgown as she tried her best to soothe him with soft words. 

A boxer shorts clad Squall burst in, his face full of alarm. A sleepy eyed Rinoa stood behind him. "Quistis, what's going on in here? I heard screaming." 

"Everything's fine," she said quietly and nodded towards the living room, "I'll be out in a minute." 

Quistis had forgotten that this spare room of hers was right next to Squall and Rinoa's bedroom and that the walls were painfully thin. She remembered that when she'd first moved in, she'd initially chosen this particular room for her own, only to discover that she could hear everything through the walls. After three nights of listening to bedsprings creak as she tried to fall asleep, Quistis decided it best to switch rooms. It was too much of a reminder of what everyone else was doing that she was not. 

"It was only a bad dream," she whispered to Seifer after Squall had closed the door. 

Seifer shuddered and pulled her into his lap. "Just make it stop. Please." 

Quistis didn't know what he meant, but she bent her head down and rested her forehead against the top of his head. Her long golden hair spilled down across his shoulders and back, and she felt him tremble as it touched his bare skin. She didn't know what else to say to him that might bring him comfort, so she merely sat there in his lap with her arms around him and his around her. 

She felt like crying, too, though she had no reason to do so. Whatever he'd been through had stolen away the pride he'd once possessed, had stripped him bare and left him a tortured shell of a man. It broke her heart to think he'd once been so confident, so sure of himself, and she hoped that he'd soon find his stride again. She missed certain little things she thought she'd never miss about him, and his cocky confidence was one of them. 

When his breathing had slowed, and he no longer shook in her arms, she covered him with the blanket. "Go back to sleep," she said gently. 

He shook his head and stared back at her with tormented eyes. 

"I'll be back to check on you in a while," she told him and she left the room to speak with Squall. 

Squall sat on the couch beside Rinoa, who looked as if she would much rather be in bed. "Sorry he woke you," Quistis said as she took a seat. "It was just a nightmare." 

"Some nightmare," Squall said. "It sounded like he was being murdered." 

Quistis could only nod. "Once, again, I apologize." 

Squall sighed and looked at Quistis with his crystal blue eyes. "Quistis, why are you doing this?" 

Quistis lifted her chin and returned his stare. "Because I have a heart," she said. "I couldn't just leave him there." 

"I would have," Rinoa said. Her face was hard, and Quistis understood why. Seifer had mercilessly thrown her at Adel's feet in the Lunatic Pandora two years ago, and Quistis knew it would be a long time before Rinoa could even begin to forgive him. 

Quistis sighed and rubbed her eyes. "I know you don't understand," she said. "But whatever he went through, it was bad, and I don't think his actions were entirely his own. From everything he's told me, Ultimecia controlled his every move, his every thought and every word he said. Ultimecia was the only thing he remembered when I found him. He didn't know me, or any of you. He couldn't remember anything but her." 

Rinoa's expression did not thaw. "It's not my problem." Quistis thought she sounded exactly Squall, and she wondered if she'd done it on purpose, or if it was that she'd spent so much time with him, she'd started to pick up some of his habits. 

"Think back, Rinoa," Quistis said. "What was it like for you when she controlled your mind?" 

Rinoa blanched and she looked away. 

"That's what I thought," Quistis said. "Now, multiply that feeling by a thousand. That's what he had to deal with, so don't be too harsh when you judge him, Rinoa. You, of all people, should understand the most."   
  
  
  


After Quistis sent Squall and Rinoa on their way, she poked her head into Seifer's room to see if he'd fallen asleep yet. She was dismayed to see that he had not, and she made her way to his bedside. "You need anything?" she asked as she knelt beside the bed and took his hand. 

"No thanks," he replied. 

She gave his hand a squeeze of reassurance. "If you don't need anything, I'm going back to sleep," she whispered and got to her feet. 

"Quistis," he said and he propped himself up on one arm. "Stay with me." 

She was uncertain as to what he was asking of her and she could only stare back at his vulnerable eyes. 

"Please," he said. "I don't want to be alone tonight." 

She nodded and took a seat across the room in an arm chair, though she knew she wouldn't get any sleep there. As exhausted as she was, she was nevertheless willing to stay if he needed her to. 

"Not there," he said. He patted the empty space beside him and said, "Here." 

For a second, she hesitated. Was this a come-on or did he just need the comfort of her arms around him while he slept? What would Squall think if he found her there in bed with Seifer? And Rinoa, she'd tell absolutely everyone. 

But then, Quistis realized she didn't care what they said or thought. She would be much warmer and much more comfortable in the bed and she knew it. She might even be able to catch a few hours of sleep if she was lucky. 

As she slipped into the bed beside him, she wondered what it would be like to have someone beside her every night, like all of her friends did. They were all so fortunate to have found someone to share their lives with, while Quistis had only herself. She couldn't deny that she found the idea of laying next to Seifer a comfort, it was just too bad it was only for the night, and too bad it was Seifer, and not someone who loved her. 

His arm slid around her narrow waist and pulled her close. She could feel his breath against her neck as she closed her eyes, and she felt something stir inside her, a faint fluttering in the pit of her stomach. She didn't understand what it meant, or even what it was, and that was disconcerting. Quistis had built her life upon remaining in control of her emotions, and she found it disturbing that lying close to him caused such an upset in the carefully constructed fortress she called self-control. 

Quistis realized then, as he nuzzled her hair, that if she were to ever find love, she would be required to let down her guard, or else she'd never be loved. The very idea of that made her afraid. What if she did let her guard down, only to be cruelly hurt? She finally understood what Squall had gone through when Rinoa came into his life. Squall had been lucky, she thought. Lucky that Rinoa had never given up on him. Quistis wasn't a stranger to dating, but all the men she'd gone out with had given up on her after a date or two. 

Would she end up spending the rest of her life alone and unloved? Hyne, she hoped not. She didn't want to believe that was her destiny, to die an old maid. 

Still, she couldn't help the excitement that coursed through her just to have a man's body next to hers. Something about that electrified her senses and made her cheeks flush with heat. She wanted him in the worst way. She wanted to feel his lips and hands on her, but she didn't dare make a move in that direction. 

A handful of times in the past, she'd gone to bed with a random man she'd met at a bar, and each time she'd done it, she'd felt lousy about giving away what should only be given in love. But she was hungry for love, hungry for someone to look at her the way Squall looked at Rinoa. She wanted someone who looked at her the way Irvine looked at Selphie, not a meaningless roll in the hay with someone just because it was convenient. 

This forced her to question what she wanted from Seifer. Did she want him because he was there? Or was it that she saw a desperate need for love in his eyes too?   
  
  
  


Seifer, who could no longer think of himself as Street Rat, was grateful for Quistis' presence beside him. The warmth of her body next to his took his mind off the nightmare, and he hoped having her there would ward off more dreams. This last one was the worst yet, and he was reluctant to fall asleep again, just in case it came back. 

So much had happened today. He'd remembered so many things, more than he dared tell Quistis, and he decided that it was important that he make it up to everyone somehow. They'd been kind enough to take him in again, and though there was hostility from most, he hoped he could change that. And as for Quistis, he wanted to do something special for her, since she'd cared enough to be there for him when he was at his most vulnerable. He didn't know what yet, but he'd think of something. 

Despite the dream, he was feeling more confident in himself, less broken and more human. Pride was something he'd have to wait on, he supposed, but at least he didn't feel like he belonged in the gutter any more. He still felt quite uneasy being in Garden, but that too would take time. But he didn't want to go back to being the insidious bastard he'd been before. All he wanted was to be normal, to have friends, and Hyne willing, a family somewhere in his future. 

As he lay there with his face buried in her neck, he remembered how he used to imagine her naked as she stood at the front of the classroom lecturing about the rules of engagement. He smiled at this. He'd had such a crush on her then, though he never dared show it. Besides, if he had, nothing would have come of it. She'd always been against breaking the rules, and screwing around with students was a big no-no at Garden. Even now, he couldn't help but be attracted to her, but he didn't dare hope that she was to him as well. There was a reason she was referred to as the 'Ice Queen' by many at Garden. 

Beside him, Quistis sighed, as if she were doing some heavy thinking herself, and he propped his head up on his hand and looked down at her in the darkness. "Can't sleep?" 

"I was just thinking, that's all," she said and she stared up at the ceiling. 

"Me too," he said and he reached out to brush a few strands of hair from her face so that he could see her lovely eyes. His thumb grazed her bottom lip by accident as he did so, and caused her to jump a little at the sensation. He wondered what it would be like to feel her lips on his, then he scolded himself for thinking that she'd even be interested. 

In her eyes, he saw confusion and frustration, as if she were fighting a battle inside her mind. "What are you thinking about?" he asked. 

"My life," she replied, and she turned her eyes to him, and her expression he could not read. 

"Feel like discussing it?" 

"No," she said and sighed again. 

"Hey," he said and he traced her jawline with his finger tips. She trembled and closed her eyes. "Talk to me. I won't bite." 

Quistis brushed his hand away and looked at him once more. "Please don't do that," she said, and she sat up against the headboard. 

"Quisty, tell me what's on your mind." 

She smiled a bit at his use of her childhood nickname and she began to talk. "I was just thinking about how all I do is work, and about how all my friends have paired up. Everyone is either married or about to get married, and I'm still alone. It's depressing to think that they're all going to be starting families soon, and I'm not even dating anyone." 

Seifer sat up and leaned against the headboard beside her. "You'll meet someone eventually," he said. 

Quistis shook her head and tears sprang to her eyes. "I don't think so. There's something about me men find repulsive. I don't think anyone will ever love me," and with that she began to sob into her hands. 

"Come here," Seifer said as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap for the second time in less than three hours. She leaned her head against his chest and sobbed. Seifer hadn't considered that the frailty he sensed was due to a lack of love, and he was baffled, especially when she deserved it more than anyone. "Quistis, any man lucky enough to be with you would be a fool not to see what you have to offer, so don't you dare think you're repulsive or unworthy. You hear me? Don't even think it." 

His words made her cry harder and he realized he'd probably just made the situation worse. He felt like an idiot for opening his mouth, but he couldn't deny that he was already half in love with her, and he'd been about to tell her so but the words wouldn't come out. Instead, he merely kissed the top of her head and stroked her back lightly with his fingertips. "Quistis, please don't cry," he whispered and he rocked her gently in his arms. 

"I'm sorry," she said as she looked up at him. "It's just that . . . that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." 

Despite himself, he laughed and hugged her. "You know, you forgot about the Trepies," he remarked. "They adore you." 

"The Trepies all became Squallies," Quistis told him and she laughed through her tears. 

Seifer groaned. "Hyne help us!" he cried and chuckled. Then he became serious and ducked his head so that he could see her face. "Quistis, don't sell yourself short. You _are_ beautiful, and you _are_ worth caring about. You just haven't found the right guy yet." 

"Tell me, where do I start looking?" she asked softly. 

Seifer suddenly knew what he could do for Quistis Trepe to repay her kindness. He could give her the one thing she wanted most. That was, if she'd have him. "Maybe you've already found him," he replied. 

Then, he cupped her face with both hands and kissed her with the kind of roughness brought on only by passion. He heard her soft cry of surprise, and she responded in kind, with the same intensity. 

It was only when his lips found her neck that she protested and pushed him away. "Seifer," she said sadly as she climbed from the bed. "I'm sorry. I can't." 

"Please don't leave," he said. 

"I have to before I do something I'll regret," she said as she turned for the door. "I like you too much to risk it." 

"If you want me too, why leave?" he asked. He could tell she wasn't leaving because she didn't want to be with him, but out of fear, and he didn't understand why she'd be afraid. 

"Because you don't love me," she said to the door. 

"What if I do?" he asked. 

She hesitated and looked back at him. "I promised myself a while back that never again would I sleep with someone I don't love, Seifer. As much as I may want you right now, I don't love you." 

_You will_, Seifer thought to himself. _One day soon, Quistis Trepe you will love me._   
  
  


**Notes**   


You said you wanted more, so I delivered. Hope you like this chapter. It took me a long time to write it because I wasn't sure where I was going with it. I've been sick most of the week with strep throat, so I'm posting a little later than I would have liked. I know that this chapter is really long....and I tried to figure a way where I could break it up a bit, but nothing worked, so you get the whole thing. And this story does have a definite direction, the problem will be finding the time to do it with two other active fics here. 

If you didn't read the notes at the bottom of the first chapter, this is a Prequel of sorts to another ongoing story here, which is nearly finished, called "the Devil's Playground." I would love for you to read it, as I've worked very hard on it, but be warned. It is a VERY different story than this one, though the two will eventually coincide as far as events go. 

I realize that Seifer is OOC, and had he been his normal self, this scene would have been much different. You will see a bit of the old Seifer in upcoming chapters, for those of you who love his sarcastic nature, so don't worry. Oh, and the rating may change due to a possible lemony fresh scene somewhere in the future....... 

So please...review, flame, spam....whatever.   
  
  
  
  



	3. Captive

**TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW**

**_Prequel to The Devil's Playground_**

_"And now the sun is low_

_and these walls try to break my soul_

_and now the moon is full_

_and I won't see nothing tonight_

_but the tears in her eyes ...."_

~Temple of the Dog, _Four Walled World_

_"But if somebody left you out on a ledge_

_if somebody pushed you over the edge_

_if somebody loved you and left you for dead_

_you've got to hold on to your time till you break . . ."_

_~_Temple of the Dog, _Times of Trouble_

**Chapter 3**

Captive

Seifer woke early the next morning, and he was thankful that after Quistis left him, he'd had no more dreams, though he'd had difficulty falling asleep after she'd gone. He could think of nothing but her and what it was that she needed. It was simple enough, it seemed, for everyone else to love and be loved, so why had no one ever bothered with her? He understood why no one would care much about him, but Quistis? Well, she was special. She deserved to be with someone as much as anybody did. Yet, as badly as she craved to have someone love her, Seifer instinctively knew that she was also terrified of giving her heart away. He wondered, what happened to her to make her so afraid? 

In the kitchen, he opened the cabinets searching for something to eat, for he'd prefer not to go down to the cafeteria until things were more settled. He wasn't looking for a fight, but he sensed that should he show his face there, the scene would not be friendly. No, a fight was the last thing he wanted. 

He found a box of pancake mix in the cabinet and looked at the directions. He remembered this stuff. Once upon a time, he'd made pancakes every Saturday morning for two friends with names he could not recall. A girl with an eye patch, and a big man with dark skin. His posse. Somewhere, he had friends . . . and what were their names? Try as he might, he couldn't remember their names, though their faces were clear enough. He'd have to ask Quistis if she knew anyone he might have hung out with before Ultimecia had taken over his life. 

Quistis appeared in the doorway of her room, her robe wrapped tightly around her body. Seifer noted that she appeared as though she'd slept little, and her eyes were red rimmed and puffy from crying. "Hey," he said. "I'm making breakfast. You hungry?" 

She gave him a weak smile and nodded. "I'm going to take a shower," she said and yawned. "Save me a few." 

"Sure thing," he said, and he returned his attention to the small stove. 

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door, and Seifer called for the person to come in. 

Squall entered and stood in front of the closed door without speaking. 

"You just going to stand there, or did you need something?" Seifer asked. 

"I need to talk to Quistis." 

Seifer jerked his head towards the bathroom door as he expertly flipped a pancake. "She's in the shower." 

Squall eyed him suspiciously. "What are you doing?" 

"What does it look like?" Seifer replied, amused. "You hungry? I've made plenty." 

"No thanks," Squall said. He still stood at the door, looking uncomfortable. 

"Well, have a seat or something. Help yourself to the coffee." 

Squall hesitated for a second, then he poured himself a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter. Again, he said nothing, but he seemed to be studying Seifer with a deep interest that Seifer found disturbing. "What?" he asked, annoyed. 

"This amnesia thing is for real?" Squall asked. 

"Would I have a reason for lying?" 

"Maybe." 

Seifer turned to him and glared. "Hey, it wasn't my idea to come here, so if you want me gone, just say the word." 

"Quistis would have my head if I did that," Squall replied. "Cid too. So whatever I may think is irrelevant." 

"Who is Cid?" Seifer asked as he poured pancake batter into the hot pan before him. "I don't think I know him." 

"Headmaster Cid?" Squall asked in disbelief. 

"I don't remember a Cid. But then, there's a lot of things about this place I don't remember, so that's not saying much," Seifer said and he glanced at the young man beside him. "I don't even remember how we scarred each other." 

Squall reached up and ran his finger along said scar and chuckled to himself. "We were training." 

_"Seifer, do NOT injure your partner while training."_

For a second, Seifer wasn't sure if Quistis had spoken these words aloud or if he merely heard them inside his head. He glanced over his shoulder and saw that she had not yet emerged from the bathroom. From behind the door, he heard the sound of a blow dryer and shook his head. Must have been his memory teasing him again. "I read somewhere once, that if two people spill each other's blood and live, they're bound together for life. Either in friendship or hatred." 

Squall stared at him and crossed his arms against his chest. "Your point?" 

"Well," Seifer began as he turned to face the shorter man, "I don't really want to be your enemy. I know we have been in the past, but things are different now. I'm different. So, if it's all the same to you, I'd like to let the past stay the past." 

"I don't have friends I don't trust." 

"Didn't say I want to be your friend. I just said I don't want to be your enemy," Seifer replied. "Speaking of friends. Would you happen to know the whereabouts of a couple friends of mine? A girl with an eye patch and a big guy?" 

"You mean Raijin and Fujin?" 

Seifer smiled as he heard their names. His posse. "That's it," he said and nodded. "Where can I find them?"   
  
"Don't know. They left SeeD a while ago," Squall said. "You might ask Selphie, though. She keeps track of those things." 

Seifer searched his memory for someone named Selphie. He recalled a girl from the orphanage gang with that name. She was the girl who'd always wanted to play war with the boys. Seifer found he couldn't picture what she looked like now, however and he shook his head at Squall. "Don't remember Selphie." 

"Don't worry. If I know Selphie, she'll find you before you find her." 

Quistis chose that moment to exit the bathroom. She was in her SeeD uniform and a pair of heels, which made her appear even taller than she was. The short skirt revealed a lot of leg, and he hid a smile as she approached the table and began to sift through the stacks of paper for something. "Hi, Squall," she said, though she didn't even look at him. She was distracted by her task. 

Seifer noticed her face was a bit flushed, and there were dark circles under her eyes. He felt guilty for keeping her up, and he hoped that there would be no further night terrors. Well, at least not ones that might wake her in the dead of night. 

"You're late," Squall said and tapped his watch. 

"Sue me," she retorted and Seifer couldn't help but laugh at her response. 

"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Squall commented, and he ducked in time to miss the paperweight Quistis hurled at him in frustration. "Maybe you should take the day off." 

"I'll be fine once I have some coffee," she fired back and she poured most of the pot into a large soup mug. Then, she placed her hand against her forehead and closed her eyes as if she had a headache. "Seifer, I'm going to have to take those pancakes with me. Can you fix me a plate to go?" 

Seifer nodded and began to prepare her plate. 

"You look like hell," Squall told her as she continued to sort through a stack of file folders. "Go back to bed. I don't want you pitching things at me all day." 

"Squall, I'm already dressed and I have a lot of work to catch up on," she protested, and then stifled a yawn. 

"I got Xu to do it while you were gone," Squall said. "There's not much for you to do. Besides, it snowed all night long, so we're pretty much stuck here. All missions are postponed." 

"I'm sure I have phone calls to return," she said indignantly. 

"Phone lines are down," he said. "The weather knocked service out some time last night." 

Quistis burst into tears and sat down in her chair at the table. Seifer wondered what was going on with her and decided it could have been any number of things. Lack of sleep, any part of last night, PMS, sexual frustration, caffeine depravation or any combination of those. As far as Seifer knew, any reason was a good enough reason for a woman to cry. 

Seifer felt bad, so he left the counter and knelt on the carpet before her. "Quistis, I think you should listen to him. You look like a train wreck." 

"But . . ." she protested. 

Seifer looked up at Squall for help, but realized he'd get none. Squall merely shrugged his shoulders and said, "Whatever." 

"Thanks for your support, man," he told Squall, who looked a bit amused by the situation. Reluctantly, he scooped Quistis up and carried her to her room, and tried in vain to dodge her slaps of protest. 

"Put me down!" she cried and she dug her fingernails into his arm. 

"OW!" he cried and he dropped her onto the bed. "What did you do that for?" 

"I am perfectly capable of walking, Seifer Almasy!" she cried. 

"Fine, I'll remember that next time," he said dryly. "Now, quit acting like Rinoa and go to sleep." 

Quistis picked up a pillow and hurled it at him. 

It missed him, and he shook his head. "Stop it!" he growled. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but I think you need some sleep, so lay down!" 

"You are not in charge of me," she replied, "and you can _not_ boss me around." 

Seifer crossed his arms and looked down at her. "I can when it's for your own good." 

"How would you know what's best for me?" 

"I don't, Quis," Seifer said, "But I can tell by looking at you, you need some rest." 

Quistis got to her feet and pointed her finger in his face. "Listen here! I can do whatever it is that I please . . ." Her voice grew weak, and her face drained of color. 

Seifer thought she was about to faint, so he grabbed her around the waist. He noticed a intense heat radiating from her body, as if from fever, and he grew concerned. "Quis, you'd better sit down." 

"I'm . . . fine . . ." she said, and her words were thick. She tried to fight away from his grip, but then she leaned into him heavily, as if all the strength had left her. 

There was something about her color that bothered him. Her cheeks were bright pink, as was what little exposed skin he could see. He lay his hand against her forehead and was startled to feel how warm she really was. 

Seifer glanced into the living room, where Squall stood watching the scene with a smirk on his face. "I'm glad you find this so amusing," he said to Squall, as Quistis practically collapsed into his arms, "but would you mind giving me a hand?" 

Squall's smile faded and he entered, looking alarmed. "What's wrong?" 

"Feel her head," Seifer commanded. 

Squall touched his hand to her cheek and recoiled as if her skin had burned him. "Better get her to Dr. Kadowaki," he said with a sigh. 

Seifer picked her up and followed Squall to the infirmary, where he placed her gently on the examining table. 

"What's the trouble?" Dr. Kadowaki asked as she placed the stethoscope in her ears. 

"Fever," Squall said. 

"Alright, I'll take it from here. You boys wait outside," she said and nearly pushed them out the door. 

Seifer wanted to protest, but he knew better than to interfere. All he could do was sit on the bench outside and worry about her. Squall was kind enough to wait with him. 

"That explains the tantrum," Squall said as he sat down beside Seifer. 

Seifer nodded and crossed his arms. "Hope she's ok." 

Squall looked at him and studied him with an intensity that unnerved Seifer. After a few moments, Squall finally spoke. "Quistis is . . . fragile, emotionally speaking. Don't do anything to hurt her." 

"Who said I planned to hurt her?" Seifer's ears stared to burn, and his cheeks warmed despite his best intentions. 

"Nobody," Squall said. "But if you do, you're dead."   
  


As they waited for news on Quists' condition, Seifer and Squall discussed the orphanage and Garden to pass the time. Despite what Squall had said earlier, Seifer could tell his companion was warming to him considerably. Perhaps, they could be friends after all. Maybe not the best of friends, but at least friendly enough to carry on a conversation. Seifer found this promising, and he hoped it was the first step toward being accepted again. If the commander accepted and forgave his crimes, perhaps everyone else would too. 

But Seifer knew he'd never really been accepted, rather he'd been feared, even before the whole mess began. Well, some things hadn't changed. As they sat on the bench outside the infirmary, Seifer noticed the way people looked at him. Nearly every one that passed gave him a look of either loathing, or of fear. It made him a little uncomfortable, but he guessed it was something that couldn't be helped. 

Squall sat beside him in silence for a while, and he stared blankly at the wall in front of them. He seemed to be contemplating something, but whatever it was, he didn't share. If Seifer remembered nothing else about Squall Leonhart, he would still know him for his lack of forthrightness. When he spoke, he was blunt, but that was only when he cared to talk. Seifer wondered what went on inside the man's head and what it was he was thinking about. 

Then, he remembered, Squall often had to be prompted, or else he'd lose himself in thought. 

"What?" Seifer asked. 

"I was just wondering what you remembered of Ultimecia." 

A sharp, searing pain ripped through Seifer's head and he groaned. He placed his hands on his head and took several long, deep breaths. The pain subsided, and he closed his eyes. "She's the one thing wish I had forgotten." 

"You have nightmares about her?" 

Seifer nodded and felt a stab of pain behind his eyes. This was not a conversation he wished to have, but, he guessed he'd eventually have to talk about it, despite the physical pain it brought him. 

"Rinoa does too," Squall admitted. "Even now, they're as bad as they were when it was all over." 

Against Seifer's will, his thoughts turned to Ultimecia, and his head felt as if it might explode.   
  
  
  


As it turned out, Quistis had pneumonia and a middle ear infection, which had caused her to run a fever of 104.4 degrees. She spent a week in the infirmary and three days following that on the couch in her room. She'd never been sick like that in her life, and she blamed it on spending so long out in the cold. All of her friends visited daily in the infirmary, but Seifer had visited her the most. Once she'd returned to her room, he'd made sure she was comfortable, brought her things and even cooked for her. It was easy to become annoyed with him, for he was there every second, and he wouldn't go away. 

Quistis spent what time alone she'd had in the infirmary confused about her feelings for Seifer. She didn't understand why she suddenly felt so enamored of him, yet his very presence irritated her to no end. She deeply regretted letting him get so close, and she'd never meant to spill her guts to him. All she'd intended to do was stay and comfort him. The funny thing was, once she'd needed the comfort and he'd offered it, she ran like a scared child. He'd hinted at having feelings for her, and that had made it all the more frightening. How was it even possible for him to feel that way about her? 

Unless....he'd always felt that way. 

But then, what of his fling with Rinoa? Had that merely been a summer crush? Rinoa had though herself in love, but somehow, Quistis doubted that Seifer had felt the same way. But, Seifer _had_ given Rinoa his ring . . .however, it had been three years now since they'd even been a couple. And their romance had only lasted the duration of a summer. 

It was winter now, and things were different. 

Quistis was so confused. She didn't know what it was that she wanted, especially when it came to matters of the heart. What exactly was this that she felt? She had no way of knowing one way or the other, but she knew she'd enjoyed the way he'd kissed her, even if she'd enjoyed it for all the wrong reasons.   
  


On the eleventh day, she felt well enough to report to work, but Squall insisted she take the rest of the week off to get better. "Just take it easy for a few more days. I've got everything under control," he'd told her. "Xu's handling things just fine." 

"Squall, I'm going to go crazy with nothing to do," she told him. 

"Seifer will keep you company," he replied with a wave of his hand. There was something in his eyes that irked her, as if he knew something she didn't. 

"When will there be a room available for him?" she asked. 

"We're working on it. Garden's at full capacity right now," he said and patted her on the shoulder. 

Quistis returned to her room with great reluctance, for she knew he'd be waiting there for her. She liked him well enough, but the constant doting on her was really starting to get on her nerves. It was sweet of him to be so kind, but there was only so much of it she could handle. He didn't understand that she needed to be alone, and he wouldn't let her do a thing by herself. 

He was definitely not the Seifer he used to be. That Seifer would have cared less if she were dying, and he probably wouldn't have helped her if she'd been bleeding to death. Quistis had to admit, she almost liked him better that way. 

Almost. 

When she opened the door, she was surprised to find that the rooms were empty. On the coffee table was a note. 

"_Quis,_

_Got a job. Back later._

_Hope you feel better._

_~S_

__

Quistis flopped down on the couch and wondered what kind of job he'd gotten. And then, she realized she didn't care, so long as he was doing something other than trying to take care of her. 

After a while, though, she discovered that she was lonely without him there. She'd gotten used to the company, and now that it was gone, she missed it a little. Despite how irritating it was to have him around all the time, she couldn't help but feel alone all of a sudden. A month ago, she wouldn't even have noticed that her room was empty. 

As she lay down on the couch, she was still felt confused about her feelings, and she wished she could talk to someone about it. She doubted that her friends would understand, though. Rinoa was still leery of Seifer, and even a bit afraid of him, and Selphie, well, she'd start planning a wedding or something. Squall was the one she _needed_ to talk to about these feelings, since he was the most like her, and he'd already been through it, but she didn't want to go to him. Squall had never been accessible in that department, and she doubted he'd be able to articulate what he wanted to say. And Zell? She might as well write him off. Everyone had pretty much made nice with Seifer during her illness, except for Zell. There was no way she'd even get him to listen to her. 

Her only other option was Irvine. At least he'd listen and try to understand. Of all of them, Irvine was the one everyone trusted to give them sound advice concerning love. He was the most experienced and the most wise when it came to relationships, and he almost always made sense. Still, she was a bit reluctant to go to him, since she'd never done so before. She just knew everyone else did, and that if anyone would remain neutral, it would be him. 

She shook her head and picked up the phone to call Irvine.   
  
  


Irvine arrived with a bowl of home made chicken soup that Selphie had sent to help her get better. "Hey darlin'" he greeted and gave her a friendly hug as she let him in. "How are you feeling?" 

"Much better, thanks," she said and smiled. 

"Glad to hear it. You had everyone worried there for a while," he said as he took a seat on the couch and tipped his hat back. "You said on the phone you needed to talk. I'm guessing it's about a guy." 

Quistis blushed. She didn't know what to say, or even how to start. Finally, she nodded and sat down, still not able to say what was on her mind. _ This must be how Squall feels,_ she thought. 

"Seifer?" Irvine guessed. 

Quistis felt her ears burn, and she stared down at the carpet. "Seifer," she confirmed. 

Irvine cleared his throat. "I know you and I have never talked about this stuff before," he said, "and frankly, I'm a bit surprised that you came to me." 

"Why?" 

"I just didn't think you'd want to." 

Quistis favored him with a weak smile. "You're the only one I can trust not to laugh at me, tell me what I want to hear, or try to make my decisions for me." 

"I wouldn't do any of that," he promised. "Now, tell me what's going on, and I'll see what I can do to help you." 

She told him everything, even about the kiss and her reaction to it. Irvine listened intently, never daring to interrupt or voice his opinion. Talking to him was different than talking to her girlfriends. He actually listened, and Quistis found the more she talked, the more able she was to express herself. "So, what do you think? Am I crazy?" she asked when she finished. 

"No, I wouldn't say you're crazy," he said and he patted her hand. 

"Well? What should I do?" 

"This is a tough one, Quis," Irvine said and he leaned back into the couch. "I'm guessing you're afraid to let him get too close, because if he gets too close, he might break your heart. Am I right?" 

Reluctantly, she nodded. He had her pegged. Was she so easy to read? 

"Like I told Squall once, you're just going to have to risk it. If it doesn't work, you cry for a few days, pick yourself up and move on." 

Quistis thought on that a moment. It made sense, but likely, it would be easier said than done should she try and fail. Rejection was something she found hard to deal with, and with good reason. She'd never quite gotten over being taken in by a foster family when she was a child, only to be rejected and sent to Garden after a few months with them. "And what about these feelings I have? Is it a matter of convenience, or something more?" 

Irvine flashed her a secretive smile. "Well, whatever it is, it goes both ways." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Quistis, that boy is half in love with you, if not already completely so. Are you so blind that you can't see it?" 

"No," she said in a quiet voice, though her heart pounded in her chest. Then she looked up at him, serious as could be, she asked. "Do you think we could last?" 

For a moment, Irvine thought, and he rubbed his chin as he contemplated her question. "Two years ago, I would have said absolutely not. But it does make sense now. He's grown up a lot. And look at the couples around you, Quis. I'm laid back, while Selphie's high strung. Squall's an introvert, while Rinoa's Little Miss Outgoing. Seifer, he'd be the brawn to your brains, if you know what I mean. He's your polar opposite, the yang to your yin, so to speak." 

"So you're telling me to go for it." 

"Nope," he said. "I think you should hold off for a bit. Seifer's the kind of guy who likes a challenge. I say you give him one." 

Quistis smiled a little, and then laughed. "Because if I'm a pushover, he'll get bored." 

"Exactly."   
  
  
  
  


Quistis never got the chance to employ her new tactics. That evening, before Seifer had returned, Squall arrived with Nida and Xu in his wake. His face was grim as he entered her room, and he looked at her with sad blue eyes. "Where's Seifer?" 

"At work," she said. "He should be back soon. Why? What's wrong?" 

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest him," Squall said, and Quistis saw that there was regret in his eyes. 

"For what?"   


Squall sighed and looked at the wall behind her, rather than at her. "The World Treaty Organization got wind of his presence here. He's wanted for high treason for his role in the Second Sorceress War. They want .... to execute him, Quistis." 

Quistis felt all the blood drain from her face, and she was forced to sit down on the floor at Squall's feet. This was shocking news and she wanted to scream at him for going along with it, but she could not manage to get a single word out. She was having trouble enough breathing. Silently, she hugged herself and rocked back and forth as tears began to roll down her face. 

Executed? Had he already been judged? Would there be no trial? Quistis found it hard that the WTO would execute Seifer, or anyone for that matter, without giving them the opportunity to explain their actions. She thought about this, but she didn't say anything because she was too stunned to speak. 

"Quistis, I'm sorry," Squall said. "You and I both know what he did, and he has to pay the price." 

She looked up at him, not able to believe what he'd said. "You know he acted against his will," she whispered. "Did you tell them that?" 

"Nothing I say matters. I harbored a fugitive. They won't listen to anything I say," he said and he crouched down beside her. "I'm sorry about this, but maybe it's for the best." 

Quistis stared at him through her tears. "How can you say that?" 

"Because, Quistis," Squall whispered so that the others wouldn't hear, "he'd only hurt you."   
  
  
  


When Seifer walked through the door, he knew something was up judging by everyone's long faces. "Did someone die?" he asked as he set his keys on the table and looked around at the small gathering in the living room. Quistis' face was tear stained, and her eyes refused to meet his. "Quistis? What's wrong?" 

"Seifer," Squall began as he got to his feet. His face was apologetic, and Seifer knew before he said a word what was going on. They were going to arrest him. He could see it in Squall's eyes. 

Seifer stared not at Squall, but at Quistis, who sat unmoving on the couch. "Quistis?" he asked, but she would not meet his eyes. "Damn it, Quis, look at me!" 

"Seifer," Squall said again and he approached slowly. "We're going to have to take you into custody. You're wanted for treason." 

Quistis closed her eyes and put her face in her hands, but she didn't say a word of protest on his behalf. Seifer didn't understand why she would be party to this, and it infuriated him that she'd sit silently by and let them do this. "You knew about this, didn't you Quistis?" he spat out as he took a step towards her. "You brought me here so that they could arrest me!" 

She looked up at him then with wounded eyes. "No," she whispered and she shook her head. 

Seifer wanted to believe her, but he couldn't. "You tricked me into coming back!" 

"Seifer, I never wanted this to happen!" she screamed at him. 

"Almasy, we can do this the easy way," Xu said as she unsheathed a pair of nunchaku, "or we can do it the hard way. It's your choice." 

Seifer felt trapped. If he ran for the door, they'd strike him down. He hadn't trained in two years, except for the monsters he'd killed the day he returned, and he was certain he didn't stand a chance against them. But, he'd sooner die than go to prison. He would have preferred to stay on the streets than be caged. As he contemplated what to do, he stared hard at Quistis who pleaded silently with her eyes for him to understand. 

"What's it going to be, Almasy?" 

He looked at Xu then, and he saw the perverse pleasure that she didn't even try to mask in her cold brown eyes. "You're getting off on this, aren't you Kushimura? I bet you've been waiting for a long time for another chance to humiliate me." 

Xu gave him a cool smile. 

"Seifer, no one's enjoying this," Squall said and he sent Xu a seething look of reproach. "Believe me, I don't want to arrest you, but I've got no choice." 

"Bullshit!" he roared and he turned his angry face towards Quistis, who's face was streaked with tears. 

She got to her feet and moved toward him, not afraid of his anger. "Seifer," she said softly. "Go with them. Please." 

Maybe it was because of the look in her eyes as she spoke to him, that Seifer's will to fight suddenly drained from him. As much as he didn't want to be locked behind bars, he knew he was defeated and that there was no way he could get out of this. He stared down at her and saw all her regrets in her tear-filled eyes, and he felt like crying a little himself, but what little pride he had would not allow it. 

Seifer had regrets of his own, and Quistis was one of them. Never should he have allowed himself to care about her. He should have known that she would betray him like this. Her kindness was too good to be true, and some part of him had known that from the start. All the signs were there. She had been the one to persuade him from his sidewalk home. She had been so insistent that they return to Garden. Her overwhelming generosity was just a means to get him back in their clutches. And her reluctance to let him get close, that was a sign too. Why let him into her heart if they were just going to put him in a cage? The worst part about it, was that he'd bought into it, and he'd hoped that maybe his life would change for the better. But it had all been a joke at his expense. 

What he didn't understand was why they'd waited so long to arrest him. Why had they let him think he was their friend? Why had they acted as if they'd forgiven him his sins? They had let him get comfortable. They'd let him start to care again. Was this their way of getting back at him? If so, it seemed a cruel thing to do to a man who'd been broken in half, hollowed out and in dire need of help. He imagined that they'd all laughed behind his back as they watched him appreciate every little guesture and suck up every bit of attention they gave him. 

Defeated, he held his hands out to Squall, though his accusing eyes never left Quistis' face. He felt the cold metal against his wrists and he heard the snap as the cuffs were fastened, but he didn't look down. He saw only her beautiful face and the tears that flowed down her pale cheeks. Even as he was lead away, he turned his head so that he could see her eyes that expressed every emotion with such clarity now, when before she'd masked her real feelings behind cool professionalism. He didn't understand what that meant, but he didn't care anymore. 

Quistis had betrayed him. And he'd thought he was in love with her. What a fool he'd been to think she'd actually love him back. What a silly, sad, pathetic fool he was. 

What he didn't know, was that the second the door closed behind him, Quistis Trepe collapsed to the floor and sobbed harder than she ever had in her life.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


***Notes*** 

Thank you so much for your reviews! I wasn't expecting such a response, especially since there hasn't been much reviewing lately! *Hugs reviewers* 

Sooooo.....the story continues. You didn't think they'd get together so easily did you?! They must be put through hell first, as in any good love story. This is my answer to the reviewer who called this 'fluff'! *L* Actually, this was planned out, and is in no way a response to said review. 

I do have a dilemma in writing this, however. Before, I was considering a set of side tales relating to "the Devil's Playground," but I realized that it might be easier to do that here. The problem is, there is soooo much ground to cover between this point and the events described in that story. Like, twenty some odd years......so what I was considering was that this become a two part thing eventually. I have the next several chapters for this planned out, but at a certain point, there's this mundane period of time in which I think it's best I skip over. Part two would be marked by several points of view, rather than just that of Quistis and Seifer, and some of the events will overlap. Basically, part two will start just before the events in DP and tell that story from different points of view. I don't know yet how far into it I will go.....IF I go that far at all. I may end it just before DP starts so as to avoid any spoilers to that story for those of you who wish to wait. *sighs* Writing is a curse! BAH! 

On a completely unrelated note....what the hell happened to my story 'Broken Wings?!" The quotation marks have been replaced by some weird ass symbols, as have all the apostrophes! FUCK! Now I'm going to have to repost every single chapter I wrote! Hmph....stupid computers...... and if I have to repost, that means I'm going to have to re-write......*mutters curse words under her breath* 

Oh well....... 

Again, THANK YOU for your reviews! If you keep reviewing at this pace, I will be one happy writer! (my notes are getting far too long....)   
  



	4. Give Me A Reason

**TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW**

**_Prequel to The Devil's Playground_**

_"Well she's tired, and she tired_

_of this life she's been leading too long_

_and the time turns around_

_through the walls that surround_

_to the chimes of a jailor's song"_

~Temple of the Dog, _Four Walled World_

**Chapter 4**

Give Me A Reason

Seifer Almasy lay on the cold, hard floor, clad in only a pair of cotton jersey boxers. He was cold and uncomfortable, but he'd be damned if he was going to let them see that. They'd taken everything from the cell and all his clothing, thanks to the temper tantrum he'd thrown. There should have been a bed with sheets and blankets, a small desk with paper and a few pencils, and a wooden chair, but now all that was left was the toilet. Seifer would have bet anything that they would have taken that, too, if it weren't bolted to the wall. 

It was Xu's satisfied grin that had set him off. She stood there on the other side of the bars, and she didn't even bother to hide her pleasure at seeing him trapped. Seifer had picked up the small chair and hurled it at her, and he'd screamed every obscenity he knew as she'd laughed when the chair hit the bars and fell to the floor. 

Seifer proceeded to ransack the room, pitching everything he could in a fiery rage. The bed crashed to the floor, spilling it's stained mattress onto the bare concrete. The desk too was tipped over, and the pencils and paper scattered around his feet. And all Xu could do was stand there and grin, while Nida and Squall watched with a shocked fascination. 

Once he'd calmed down, they'd drugged him, then taken everything but his boxer shorts. It was Squall's decision to leave him with that little shred of dignity, and Seifer couldn't help but feel a little grateful, though he'd never admit it. But now, he was freezing as he lay against the concrete, and he couldn't fall asleep with nothing between his skin and the icy floor. At least when he'd been on the streets, he'd had a couple layers of clothing between his body and whatever place he chose to sleep. 

After a while, he sat up and leaned back against the wall. It too was cold, but at least it didn't hurt as the floor had. 

He thought of Quistis, then, and he grew angry once more. Why had she done this to him? Why hadn't she just left him alone in the first place? He could understand the others and their motivation, but not hers. Quistis had always been the one to stick up for him when he'd screwed up, and no matter how many times he'd failed, she still managed to have faith in him. 

Except for that last Field Exam. He remembered the look of disappointment in her eyes as she'd stared across the room at him as the names were read off. His hadn't been one of them, and she'd merely shook her head and turned away, unable to find anything encouraging to say for the first time. She had thought him beyond hope. He heard it in her voice later, as she locked him in a cell much like the one he sat in now, and he'd seen it in her eyes, too. 

He dozed, but was soon awoken by the sound of voices arguing in the corridor near by. He listened close and he found he could hear both speakers. He listened with interest when he recognized the voices.   
  
  
  


"What do you mean there's not going to be a trial?" Quistis asked Squall as they stood at the entrance to the detention center, where Seifer was being held until he would be transported to Deling City for execution. 

"Just what I said. There's no trial." Squall said. 

"That's not fair!" Quistis cried and she grabbed him by the arm. "You can not let them do this, Squall. You can't! It's not right." 

"What do you expect me to do, Quistis? My hands are tied here. I wish there was something we could do, but we _can't_." 

Quistis felt her heart breaking. She couldn't let this happen. She'd finally been given a chance to find true love, and it had been taken from her before she'd even realized how much she'd cared. It wasn't fair! There must be something that could be done. At least with the benefit of a trial, there would be a chance he'd be set free. A slim one, but at least there was a chance. To execute a man without hearing his side of the story was criminal in itself, for even a guilty man was entitled to a trial. A trial at least gave hope to a hopeless situation, and she'd put up a fight if she had to. 

"So you're just going to hand him over and let him be killed. You're just going to let them execute him without giving him a chance to tell them what happened." Her voice was bitter, and tears sprang to her eyes. 

Squall hesitated before speaking, and his eyes softened a little as he stepped closer to her. "Why does this matter so much to you?" 

"Why _doesn't_ it matter to _you_?" she fired back and she gave him a rough shove, pushing him back against the wall. "Are you really that heartless? He deserves a fair hearing, and _you know it, _Squall Leonhart!" 

"Damn it, Quistis, I agree with you! He deserves to be heard, but they're not going to listen to a word he says! Why can't you understand that?" 

"If they won't listen, then we _make_ them listen!" she yelled. "Now, get your ass upstairs and start making some phone calls or I swear to Hyne, I'll make you regret it for the rest of your life!" Quistis meant what she said. If Squall sat back and did nothing about this, then he would have to pay for letting it happen. 

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" Squall asked softly. His piercing blue eyes searched her face as they never had before. 

"Give me the keys I want to see him." she demanded and held out her hand. 

"Quistis?" he asked. "Are you in love with him?" 

"I said give me the keys." She turned her face away from his gaze so that he could see how deeply she cared. She didn't want Squall to know the truth, for he would never understand. 

Quistis herself didn't fully understand why her heart had chosen Seifer and not another. Seifer had hardly been back two weeks, and Quistis couldn't quite explain how it had happened. When she'd imagined herself in love, she'd always pictured herself with a man like Squall, brave, honest and strong, but more sensitive. She wanted a man who could speak his mind, but not use words to hurt her. She wanted a man who was well educated, and could appreciate literature and the sciences as she did. 

Seifer was not that man, and Quistis knew it. He was educated, but she doubted that he cared about physics or poetry. Just the same, she couldn't shake the certainty that he was the only man for her, whether they made sense or not. Sometimes, what you want, and what you need are completely different things. 

"Hyne Almighty, Quistis, please don't tell me you're in love with him," Squall said in a quiet, pleading voice that was on the ragged edge of tears. "Please say it's not true." 

"_I'm in love with him!_" Quistis screamed back at him, unable to hold it in. Her whole demeanor collapsed and she pressed her hands to her face to cover her tears. "I love him, Squall. I don't want him to die." 

Squall sighed and pulled her into a tight embrace. "How could you be so stupid?!" he whispered as he let her sob into his chest. "Of all things, you go and fall in love with a doomed man."   
  
  
  
  


Seifer had heard her say it. He'd heard every single word, and it had brought him momentary joy to know that his feelings were returned. Then he realized, he could never reciprocate, he would never be able to spend his life with her, because he would die in the next week or so. He felt more cheated now than he had when he'd thought she'd tricked him into coming back. Cheated, because it was his chance too. It had been his chance to have someone care about him, something he'd never had before, and now, when someone did, he wouldn't be able to reap the benefits. 

He knew, also, that if Quistis knew his feelings, it would break her heart when they took him away. As strong as his feelings for her, he couldn't let this be. He couldn't let her be hurt more than she already would by his death. He didn't have the heart to do that too her. It seemed cruel. 

So when he heard her turn the key in the lock, he resolved that he'd be indifferent towards her, caustic even. He could only drive her away so that maybe, he'd take away some of the hurt she'd feel later. "Go away, Instructor," he said as she approached. 

"I can't do that, Seifer," she said and she sat down beside him. 

"Did you come to gloat?" he asked. "I'm not in the mood to hear it if you did." 

She shook her head and placed her hand on his arm. "Hyne, Seifer, you're freezing!" 

"I'll be fine." 

"No," she said indignantly. "This isn't right. You could get sick." 

"Who cares? I'm about to die anyway." 

"I care," she said and got to her feet. Her heels clicked against the concrete floor as she stomped towards the door. "You should at least have a blanket!" 

When she returned a few moments later, she held in her hands two thick woolen blankets and a flat pillow. "Here," she said and handed the bundle to him. 

He took them, but instead of covering up, he merely set them down beside him and stared at the wall across from him. This was harder than he thought. "I don't need your pity, Instructor." 

"Seifer, stop it," she hissed. "You're upset with me, fine, but don't be a jerk! I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to get you a hearing, Seifer, a fair chance!" 

"You're wasting your time, then. I don't want your help. It was your help that got me into this in the first place! If you'd just left me alone, none of this would have happened!" 

Quistis stared at him with a mixture of anger and hurt in her eyes, and Seifer felt guilty, but he couldn't relent, or he'd end up confessing his feelings. No, he had to piss her off, push her buttons in order to save her from going down with him, for he knew that's what would happen. As strong as she seemed, she would be easily broken if he told her the truth. If she knew, she'd shut down and then, she really would be alone for the rest of her life. He couldn't be responsible for that. He couldn't be the one to blame for her spending the rest of her life all alone. She deserved better than that. 

And, in a way, he was protecting himself, too. It would be torture to have her touch him in a loving way, to have her look at him with affection in her lovely aqua eyes. If she were to put her arms around him right now, he would do something rash and stupid when the time came for him to go. If he was to die, then he'd die like a man, not some love sick fool begging for salvation. He would accept his punishment with dignity, and he'd do it without breaking Quistis' heart. 

"You'll die without my help." 

"Maybe I will," he said, "but I'm not going to be your charity case, so leave me the hell alone!" 

"Why is it so hard for you to accept my help?!" she cried. "I know you want it. I _know_ you don't want to die." 

What she said was the truth, but whether he liked it or not, that was his fate. "Whether or not I have a trial, everyone still thinks I'm guilty. No matter what I say to them, they're still going to convict me, and I'm still going to die. It doesn't matter what I want. Not a damn thing matters!" 

"You're wrong, Seifer!" Quistis screamed at him. "YOU matter! You matter to me, and I'm not going to let you die!" 

"And how do you plan to keep that from happening?" he fired back. "Tell, me Instructor? What do you plan to do? Hide me away from the world? Plan my escape? How the hell are you going to stop this? The whole fucking world is after me! There's nowhere for me to run to, and there's nowhere for me to hide. Take your head out of your ass and face it!" 

When Quistis began to sob, Seifer had to force himself not to pull her to him and apologize for everything he'd said. But, he knew if he did that, there'd be no turning back. He knew if he touched her, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from taking her right there if she let him. Instead, he let her cry while he sat silently against the wall doing absolutely nothing to comfort her. 

He didn't know why it was he needed her so badly. Quistis wasn't the kind of girl he typically went after, from what he remembered anyhow. He'd always preferred a girl with flair, spunk and a sense of spontaneity. Girls like Rinoa. Quistis was none of those things. Her life was orderly, prepared in advance, and damned boring. She was uptight, and even a bit rigid most of the time, but Seifer had sensed a deep, underlying passion inside her that had gone untapped the night she'd lain in the bed with him. 

Finally, after her sobs had turned into sniffles, Seifer asked, "Why do you want to help me?" 

Quistis turned her face away from him and wiped her tears away. "Because I . . ." 

"Because you what?" 

"Because you need it." 

Seifer was disappointed that she didn't say it to his face. He didn't know why he'd asked, for it would only make this harder to hear it from her in person. Maybe he was looking for a reason to believe that things would be all right. "I don't need, or want anything from you," he said coldly. "So please. Leave me the fuck alone."   
  
  
  
  


Quistis ran to her room, tears streaming down her face. She ignored the concerned and shocked stares she received as she went. All she wanted to do was throw herself onto her bed and cry. She'd been sobbing off and on all day, and it made her eyes ache and burn as the tears once again slid down her cheeks. This time, though, her tears were not for Seifer, but for herself. She was angry at herself for caring so much, when he obviously didn't care about her. Hyne, she hated him for making her think he might have feelings for her! 

She almost went so far as to think that she didn't care if he lived or died, but she did care. She cared more than she wanted to about Seifer and what awaited him. She didn't want to feel so strongly, but she couldn't stop herself from feeling that way, try as she might. 

She unlocked her door and made for her bedroom as soon as she closed her door. However, a knock at the door interrupted her and she paused, uncertain as to whether or not she should answer. After a moment, she turned for her room but the knock came again. 

"Quistis, open up. I know you're in there," Rinoa's voice called from the other side. 

Quistis didn't want to talk to anyone. She didn't want to see anyone, and she didn't want anyone to see her in this state, especially not Rinoa, who wouldn't understand even if she tried. 

"Quisty?" Rinoa called again and she knocked louder. "I just saw you go in, so I know you're there. Please, open the door." 

Rinoa knocked three more times before Quistis decided to answer. She pulled the door open a crack and stared out into the hallway at her friend. 

"Are you ok?" Rinoa asked, and there was real concern in her voice. 

"I'm fine," Quistis replied and she opened the door a little wider, letting Rinoa enter, despite her desire to be alone. It was obvious that Rinoa wouldn't have given up anyway. As always, duty came before personal matters. That was Quistis' life. 

How sad and pathetic. 

"You don't look fine," Rinoa said and she bit her lip. "Have you been crying?" 

Despite her reluctance to admit it, Quistis nodded and turned towards the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. 

"You want to talk about it?" Rinoa asked as she followed Quistis into the kitchen. 

"Not really. I've had enough of Seifer Almasy for one day, thanks." 

"Well, if you do need to talk, just remember, I'm right next door, ok?" Rinoa asked hopefully. "You can come to me any time." 

Quistis nodded, and she burst into tears as her friend pulled her into a comforting embrace. 

"Squall's working on it," Rinoa said in her ear. "He's doing everything he can." 

Quistis didn't know how much difference it would make if Squall did. Seifer was right. There wasn't much chance of him being found innocent of his crimes, though she didn't say this to Rinoa. Even if Seifer told them everything, Quistis doubted he would be believed. It was like a plea of insanity. No one ever believed that, unless there was proof, and as far as Quistis knew, there wouldn't be any way to prove his actions were forced. 

"It's going to be all right, Quisty," Rinoa said as Quistis pulled away and turned her back. "Whatever happens was meant to be." 

Quistis took no comfort in Rinoa's words. It wouldn't be all right if Seifer died. _She_ wouldn't be all right. As angry as she was at him, she didn't think he was mean to die. She could only hope that Squall could convince the powers that be to relent and give the man a fair trial. She could only hope that upon hearing his story, the judge and jury would have sympathy and set him free. It was a long shot, and maybe it was foolish to even hope for these things, but Quistis couldn't help it. 

"Have you talked to him at all, Rinoa?" Quistis asked as she poured a mug full of coffee for herself, and then one for Rinoa. 

"Seifer? Yeah, while you were sick, we talked a lot. He even apologized for handing me over to Adel," Rinoa replied as she accepted the coffee. "He wouldn't talk about Ultimecia, though. Said it was best if he didn't." 

Quistis nodded and looked at the floor. "Do you think he's changed?" 

"Definitely," Rinoa said in a firm voice. "He's not the big, bad meanie he used to be." 

Quistis had to laugh at this. In Rinoa's book, a big, bad meanie was the worst thing a person could be, and Quistis remembered a certain commander had been called that on a number of occasions. She sipped her coffee and heaved a deep sigh from her lungs. "I can't believe how screwed up all this is." 

"Quisty, you had to know when you brought him back here, there was a chance they'd take him, right? I mean, you knew it might happen." 

"I suppose I did, I just didn't think . . . " 

"You didn't think you'd care this much," Rinoa finished for her. 

"I'm stupid, hunh?" 

Rinoa shook her head and placed her hand on Quistis' arm. "It's never stupid to care about someone else. Maybe it will end up badly, but at least your heart is in the right place."   


  
  
  


_"Fithos . . . . Lusec . . . .Wecos . . . Vinosec . . . ."_

_They were all around him, his sorceresses. Sweet Matron. Hideous Adel. Innocent Rinoa . . . Ultimecia . . ._

_Their hands caressed his body as he lay upon a bed of soft down feathers. This was nice, this touching. It was erotic in a way, yet not sexual. It was just a gentle, relaxing sensation with the potential of something more. He didn't want it to stop, but he knew it would. They always stopped._

_Soft hands twined in his hair, and he opened his eyes to see Quistis above him. Her hair fell down across his bare chest and tickled his skin ever so gently. There was an ethereal quality to her face, as that of an angel, and he pulled her closer. His lips met hers, and he found he was filled with a hot desire to have her, a great need to satisfy what he could not have in reality. Her hands touched him intimately as his own hands sought to touch her._

_"Quis," he whispered as she had her way with him, and he closed his eyes against the pleasure of letting her take him._

_After a moment, he opened his eyes. Screamed. It was not Quistis above him, but Ultimecia, and he tried in vain to push her away. This was not what he wanted!_

_"Don't you love me, Seifer?" Ultimecia asked, though it was Quistis' voice that spoke._

_"Leave me alone! Hyne, just leave me alone!" He screamed over and over as he climbed from the bed._

_"You are kursed," Ultimecia told him, and she pointed to the left, where Quistis sat on the floor with her arms wrapped around herself and she sobbed into her knees. "You will only bring pain and sorrow to those who kare about you."_

_Quistis looked up at him, and in her eyes, something had shattered. There was nothing sane behind them, nothing left of the woman he knew and loved, and Seifer knew it was his own doing. "Quis!" he screamed as he fought his way to her, but the harder he tried, the further away she became. "QUIS!"_

_Rinoa stepped in front of him, blocking his path to Quistis. She held up something metallic and shiny._

_A razor blade._

_"Fithos . . . Lusec . . ."_

_"Wecos . . . Vinosec . . ."_

_He pushed Rinoa out of the way and saw Quistis washed in blood.___

_In his own hand was the razor blade._   
  
  
  


"Quistis!" Zell's voice called, waking her from sleep. "Damn it, Quistis, wake up!" 

Quistis sat up and glanced at the clock and then at her dark bedroom window. It was the middle of the night. She'd lay down to take a short nap after Rinoa left, and was startled to find that she'd slept away most of the afternoon, and part of the night. 

"Quistis!" Zell called again, and he began to pound on the door hard enough to make her window rattle. 

Alarmed, she pulled on her robe and hurried to the door. Zell, who appeared near panic, took her by the hand and pulled her into the hallway. "It's Seifer. He's flipping out! Squall sent me to get you." 

Quistis rubbed her eyes, which were sore and swollen from crying, and followed Zell to the basement. She knew it had to be something major for Zell to get involved. Zell, for all Quistis knew, hated Seifer. "What's he doing?" she asked as they stepped into the elevator. 

"Screaming. He won't stop," Zell told her as he punched the button for the MD level. 

"How long's this been going on?" 

Zell shrugged. "Half an hour or so. The guards called Squall when they couldn't calm him down, but that didn't work either." 

Quistis' heart pounded in her chest and she suddenly felt chilled. She pulled the robe tighter around her body and waited impatiently for the elevator to reach it's destination. "Do you still hate him?" 

"I thought I did," Zell said thoughtfully, "but now . . . I don't know. I feel bad for the guy, but don't tell him I said that." 

Quistis nodded and she stepped forward as the elevator came to a halt. It seemed as if the doors were taking an abnormally long time to open and she groaned in frustration. "Open, damn it!" she cried. As if on cue, they slid open and she hurried out into the corridor, her bare feet protesting the cold of the floor. 

She could hear him screaming all the way there, and she felt like screaming along with him. Whatever it was he was experiencing, it was agonizing, and Quistis would do anything to make that pain go away. She knew, long after he stopped, she would still her his voice inside her head, for the rage and pain in it stabbed at her heart. 

Quistis was not prepared for the way he paced his cell, or the way his face contorted in what appeared to be considerable anguish. His skin was flushed, but he shivered as if he were cold. In his eyes was a fiery rage, a madness that concerned her greatly. He gritted his teeth and rubbed his arms, and the screams still jerked from his throat, though he was growing hoarse. 

Squall stood in front of the cell door, looking helpless and concerned. "Quistis, thank Hyne you're here." 

"Let me in," she said flatly, and she never took her eyes off the pacing madman behind the steel bars. 

"You don't want to go in there," he told her. "We tried to bring him down, but he wouldn't let us near him." 

Quistis noticed there were four long scratches on the side of his face, and she knew what Squall said was true. "I said let me in," she demanded in a quiet voice. 

Reluctantly, Squall fit a key into the lock and opened the door for her. 

She stepped inside and then turned back to her friends. "Leave us." 

"Not until he calms down a little," Squall replied. 

"If I need your help, I'll call," she said, but she could see Squall was not going to back down. "Please, Squall. He's already been humiliated enough, don't you think? Let us be." 

After a moment of hesitation, Squall nodded and took Zell by the arm. "Come on." 

Once they'd gone from her sight, Quistis sighed and closed her eyes. How to calm down a crazed beast locked in a cage? She didn't know, but she was going to have to figure it out. "Seifer," she whispered and took a step in his direction. His head turned to her and he paused in mid scream. 

"Seifer, It's me. Quistis," she said as she took another step closer. "You're all right." 

All the rage drained out of him, and he stumbled to the wall, where he slid slowly down to his knees, panting heavily with his hands pressed to his face. "Why won't she leave me alone?" he pleaded. "Why won't she go away?" 

Quistis went to him then, and hesitantly placed her hand on his head, afraid that he might attack her. "Shh," she said as she stroked his hair, which was damp with perspiration despite the chilly temperature in the room. "It was just a nightmare." 

She felt so conflicted as she sat there beside him. She knew she should be distancing herself from him to save herself, but she couldn't in good conscience leave him to deal with this alone. If anything, she owed it to him to be there. If these were to be his last days, shouldn't she do anything in her power to make them easier? But then, once he was gone, who would make her days easier to bear? Who would calm her in the middle of the night, when the night terrors she was sure to have would wake her in a panic? 

Her friends all had someone to turn to, while Quistis did not. Once this was all over, there would be no one there to comfort her in her loneliness and grief. Still, she didn't want to leave him alone. If these were to be his last moments to live, then she wanted to spend every single minute of it with him.   
  
  
  
  


"Quistis?" 

She opened her eyes and looked up to see Squall standing on the other side of the bars. She'd fallen asleep sitting up against the wall, while Seifer lay on the floor beneath a blanket, sleeping soundly. She got to her feet and went to the door as she rubbed the grit from her eyes. 

"Is he all right?" 

"For now," Quistis whispered as she stepped out into the hallway. 

"We need to talk," Squall said as he paused and looked at her. 

Quistis couldn't read his expression and she was worried. "Fine, but not here. I don't want to wake him." 

"In my office, then." 

In silence, they rode the elevator up to the third floor and in his office, she took a seat by the window, where the pair usually discussed work. Squall rarely wanted to sit at his desk, preferring the view by the window because he said it helped him think. It was already mid-morning, and the sun shone in, burning her sensitive eyes. On that particular day, she did not enjoy the view as she had in the past. 

"What is it?" she asked. 

"I've got good news and bad news," Squall said as he handed her a cup of coffee and took a seat across from her. 

"Tell me." 

"He's getting a trial," Squall said and he gave her a weak smile. "I had Laguna pull a few strings. He owed me a favor anyhow." 

Quistis was overjoyed. She felt like hugging him, but she merely smiled and closed her eyes. Then, she remembered there was bad news too. "Tell me the rest." 

Squall sighed and looked out the window. "The bad news is, we only have three days to prepare a defense," he said. "And I have no choice but to put you in charge."   
  
  
  
  
  
  


***notes***   


Mwaaa ha ha ha! I just want you to know this thing has turned into a BEAST of a story. *bangs head against keyboard* Oh why oh why did I get myself into this?! *L* 

So many reviews! :) Thank you guys so much for reviewing....24 reviews is A LOT of reviews for one story....I never dreamed I'd get that kind of response in writing this.....so thanks! 

Review, flame, spam...cc? Please?   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  



	5. Expecting the Impossible

TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW

Prequel to The Devil's Playground

_"Let the ocean dissolve away my past_

_three days, maybe longer_

_won't even know I've left_

_let the sun climb, burn away my mask_

_three days, not much longer_

_let my spirit pass . . ."_

~Pearl Jam, _Last Exit_

  
  


**Chapter Five**

Expecting the Impossible

Seifer Almasy awoke as the doors of his cell creaked open, and he sat up and stared back at the guard who stood before him with a cocky grin on his face. 

"What," Seifer demanded. 

The guard chuckled. "I was just wondering if you believe in Hyne, Almasy." 

"What's it to you?" 

"Well, if you don't, you'd better start 'cause it seems she's got a soft spot for you." 

Seifer glared back at him hatefully and decided to go back to sleep and ignore the pompous bastard. 

"Get your ass up and get dressed, Almasy. Lt. Commander Trepe is coming down in ten minutes, so you'd better be ready," the guard said and dropped a stack of neatly folded clothing beside the door. 

Seifer didn't want to see Quistis. To see her would be a reminder of what he was leaving behind. Reluctant to leave the warmth of the blanket, he grunted and threw the heavy thing off of himself. 

Once he was dressed, he sat down on the blankets and yawned. He couldn't imagine what Quistis wanted or why the guard had made it sound so official. 

It could only mean one thing, really. It was time for him to go. 

He supposed he was ready. Death might even be a welcome thing. Had he been permitted to live, he didn't know if he could deal with the nightmares anyhow. Lately they'd become a little too intense, and always, when he waked, he was back in the place he'd been when she had ruled his mind. He wondered if perhaps this was her way of getting revenge on him for failing. He could accept dying. He wasn't afraid of that. He'd never been afraid of dying, even when it was staring him right in the face. No, it was what he would be leaving behind that concerned him. There had been, for a fleeting moment, the promise of a new life, a chance for him to be a better man. It depressed him to think that he'd never have a chance to prove everyone wrong, but he supposed he didn't deserve a second chance anyhow. 

After all, he had killed people. And he'd gone along willingly at first. Nothing could change that, and he knew very well that he deserved what he got. 

"Seifer," Quistis' voice called. 

He looked up to see her at the bars, hands clasping them tightly as a hint of a smile played across her lips. He'd expected to see her crying, but instead she was dry eyed and had a look of resolve on her face. He could see how exhausted she was, however hard she tried to hide it, for there were dark circles under her eyes and she appeared as though she might fall asleep right there. 

"What do you want?" he asked, irritated that she'd be smiling about his impending doom. He'd meant to be mean to her, but Hyne, he hadn't meant to drive her to be like Xu. 

"You're getting a trial," she said and grinned. 

For a moment, he didn't believe it. "A what?" 

"A trial. That's where they put you on the stand and make you testify before a judge and jury. You know, a trial?" 

"Always the wise ass," he said and got to his feet, still unable to believe what he was hearing. Only minutes ago, he'd been thinking about how he could handle being executed, and now she was telling him he had another shot at being a free man. "How did you get me a trial." 

"Squall pulled a few strings." 

"He did, hunh?" Seifer mused and he scratched his chin in contemplation of this new development. "Never expected him to do that." 

"I threatened him," she said and smiled. 

Seifer gave her a smirk. "So, you think you can get me out of this?" 

"I doubt it, but I'm going to try," she said 

Seifer laughed out loud at this and shook his head. In just a few short minutes, his fate had changed. It might have been a long shot, but he found himself with renewed hope, and he was surprised to discover how much he really didn't want to die. If he had even a slim chance of going free, he hoped for it. But not too much. It would be devastating to go through the pain of a trial, only to be executed anyway, and he forced himself to remember that was likely to happen. 

Quistis closed her eyes and sighed, leaning her head against the bars. It was then Seifer saw how tired she really was. She needed sleep, and badly. He reached out through the bars and laid his hand upon her cheek, despite his intentions to drive her away. She smiled faintly and opened her eyes. Then, she pushed his hand back through the bars. "We don't have much time," she told him, and it sounded almost like a scolding. 

"How much time is 'not much?'" 

"Three days," she replied and she rubbed her tired eyes. 

"Three days?!" he cried. "Here I thought I had a fighting chance, and you're basically telling me I'm fucked!" 

"No," she said. "Not yet anyway. And besides, it's more of a chance than you had before isn't it?" 

"Not much of one." 

"Would you like to forget the whole thing then?" she asked. "Guess who got the job of defending you, Seifer? _Me._ Right now, I'm too tired to think straight and I'd rather go to sleep, but to save your ass, I've got to stay awake. For the next three days and nights I will have to sacrifice _more_ sleep for you because I'll be too busy busting my ass to prepare your defense, so _quit whining_!" 

Seifer was a bit taken aback by her outburst and he grinned. There was that passion again, the passion she was so good at hiding until her buttons were pushed. "Go to sleep then. I don't care." 

Quistis threw daggers at him with her eyes and turned away from the bars, as if to leave. 

He realized then that he'd screwed up. She really was going to walk away! "Quistis, I'm sorry. Come back." 

She turned around and glared at him. "Oh, you want to live?" 

"Yeah," he said and looked at his feet. 

"Are you positive, because I don't have time to waste if you're going to screw with me like this." 

He nodded. "No more. Promise." 

"Fine, then. Let's get on with this." She slipped a couple pads of paper and a box of pencils through the bars. "Write down as much as you can remember, anything you think is important. How it started, how it felt to be controlled. Anything you can think of and any ideas you might have that could help us out." 

"I don't know if I can do that," he said slowly. "You know what happens when I think about her." 

"If you want to live, you're going to have to, Seifer, and you're going to have to talk about it on the witness stand," she said and crossed her arms. "I know it'll be hard, but you're just going to have to look the beast in the eyes and do it." 

"All right," he agreed, albeit reluctantly. "If my head explodes from the pressure, tell chicken-wuss I'll miss him." 

Quistis, unexpectedly, rolled at his comment, laughing so hard that tears rolled down her cheeks. Hyne, she really must have been tired for her to find this so amusing. When she calmed herself, she demanded he get to work. "I've got some research to do right now. The guards will bring the desk and bed back in shortly, so behave yourself." Then, she turned to leave. 

"I'll try," he called as he watched her go. "By the way. You're pretty sexy when you get mad." 

She extended her middle finger and gave a glance over her shoulder. Seifer could almost swear he saw a hint of a smile on her face as she walked away.   
  
  
  


  
Frustrated did not even begin to describe how Quistis Trepe felt as she sorted through the stacks of books in the library in search of any information on sorceress possession and their effects. She was beyond frustrated. Three days was not enough time to prepare an adequate defense, but she didn't dare ask for more, for she got the feeling that even three was a stretch. She was betting that the trial would merely be a formality, rather than a chance to save him, but she hadn't passed this on to Seifer. It was her hope that a jury would feel sorry for him and wonder how they might have ended up had they been in Seifer's shoes. 

But first, she had to gather evidence and records regarding the effects of possession and the particular books she was seeking were not on the shelves. "Damn it," she muttered and headed to the desk, where Zoe Dincht, otherwise known as the pigtail girl or Zell's wife, was working. 

"Zoe," she asked as she handed the girl a list of books she needed, "Can you find out who has these? It's important." 

"Well," Zoe said and she flipped one of her pigtails off her shoulder, "I'm not really supposed to . . ." 

"Please?" Quistis asked. She didn't want to have to pull rank, but she'd do it if necessary. 

"Just give me oooneee minute," Zoe said, and she bit her lip as she punched a few buttons on her keyboard. "You're in luck. Rinoa's got them." 

"Thanks, Zoe. You're a lifesaver," Quistis said and she felt like hugging the girl. But there wasn't time for that. Time was a wasting. 

Quistis practically ran up to her room, ignoring those who greeted her on her way, leaving behind a wake of confused and surprised staff and students. She knew if she stopped to say hello, the greater part of her day would be wasted making small talk with everyone, for once she started, it never stopped. Once she got to Rinoa and Squall's door, she pounded on it hard and bounced on her toes in anticipation. 

After a few moments, Rinoa opened the door, looking rather rumpled. Her dress was slightly askew and her hair was a mess, not to mention there was a deep pink in her cheeks and her lipstick was smeared. Quistis just knew she'd interrupted something, and she might have giggled if there were time. 

"You have three books I need," Quistis said. "The ones by Dr. Odine." 

"Um," Rinoa said and she stepped back from the door, letting Quistis in. "Let me go get them." 

Squall sat awkwardly on the couch, and there was lipstick smeared at the corners of his mouth. "Hey," he mumbled. 

"Shouldn't you be at the office?" she asked, amused. 

"Lunch break," he replied. 

"At 9:30 in the morning?" Quistis asked. "Squall, I've heard of afternoon delight, but . . ."  
  
"Enough!" Squall cried, embarrassed. "Leave me alone, will you? I can take my break whenever I please, and _do_ whatever I please with it!" 

Quistis giggled and turned to Rinoa who made a noise of delight as she found the books. "Thanks, Rinoa. I owe you one." 

"Unhunh," Rinoa said and literally pushed her to the door. "Ok, bye now."  
  
When the door closed behind her, Quistis started to laugh. It seemed everything was funny this morning, and Quistis knew it had a lot to do with her lack of sleep. She had to remember to stay focused if she was going to do this. It would not be very kosher of her to try to defend Seifer with nothing but punch drunk humor. She knew, at some point, she would have to sleep, whether there was time for it or not. But sleep would eat up precious hours she could be researching and preparing. 

Damn it all to hell! 

In her room, she brewed a fresh pot of coffee and got to work. The books were full of first hand accounts of possession, testimonials and excerpts from Dr. Odine's research. As much as Quistis could not stand the man, the fact remained that he was the most knowledgeable person on the planet when it came to this particular subject. Everyone knew this to be true, so any evidence his books could provide might help. 

Quistis hesitated and decided to go one better. She reached for her rolodex and began to flip through in search of his number. If she could get ahold of him, and get him to agree to testify, it would be to their advantage. The inevitable price, of course would be that he'd want to study Seifer, and Quistis wasn't sure if he'd be willing, but she didn't care. She could only hope that Seifer would agree to it to save himself. Odine might even be able to help him out with the nightmares and the headaches if he let him. 

"O lab, this is Kendra, may I help you?" A cheerful feminine voice answered. 

"Hello, My name is Lt. Commander Trepe, from Balamb Garden. I was wondering if Dr. Odine would be available to speak to me some time today about Sorceress possession." 

"Just a moment," the girl replied, and Quistis was treated to a musak version of 'Eyes on Me.' 

After a lengthy pause, Odine's voice greeted her. "Vat the hell do you vant?! I've got important research to complete!" 

"I'm sorry to bother you, Dr. but I'm working on a defense for Seifer Almasy, and I was wondering if you could help me out." 

"Seiver Almasy . . . Seiver . . . Ultimecia's Knight? You hav him?" 

"Yes sir, I do. He's going to trial in three days, and any information you may have that can help me would be appreciated. On the topic of sorceress possession, of course." 

"I know everysing there iz to know about zat." 

"I know sir, that's why I called you." 

"I am not a SIR. I am a Doktor. You vill call me zat or nosing at all." 

"I apologize, Dr." Quistis was beginning to regret calling him. She'd forgotten how arrogant and rude the man could be. But if it helped the case, she'd have to bear with it. "Can you help me." 

"Yes, yes. You vant me to testify, no?" 

"Your testimony would help us, Dr." 

"And vat do I get in return? Hmm?" 

"He's agreed to let you study him. Remember, he was possessed by Ultimecia. Just think how much you could learn from him." 

"How dare you tempt me! You are a horrible woman!" Odine screamed, and Quistis was forced to hold the phone away from her ear. 

"Will you agree?" 

"Fine. I vill do it, but you must allow me to study him. Just tell my receptionist ven and vhere. I vill take care of ze rest."   
  
  
  
  


Seifer was having a difficult time doing what Quistis asked of him. His hands shook as he tried to write, and his head throbbed worse than it ever had. After a while, he snapped the pencil in half and got up from the newly returned desk. How the hell was this going to work if he couldn't even write more than a sentence without the blinding, piercing pain in his head? There had to be a way to block it out, but he'd be damned if he could think of one. 

He paced his cell for a while, contemplating his chances. They weren't great, he was sure of that. It would be hard to get a jury to find his story sympathetic. Granted, he had been under duress, but how could they prove that? It was easy enough to say it, but hard to prove. 

Wait . . . Edea had been possessed by the evil bitch. Perhaps she'd testify on his behalf. He didn't know if she'd be believed either considering her actions during the whole mess, but he'd bet they'd never put her on trial, even now that she wasn't a sorceress. So, perhaps they would listen to her. She had known him his whole life, and despite whatever she may have done during the War, her prior history was spotless. She was also one of the founders of SeeD, the very organization that was created to defend the world against the sorceress. The only reason he'd gone with her in the first place was because she was Matron, and being her Knight had seemed like a dream come true. 

Until he realized that it wasn't Matron he served . . . and by then, it was too late.   
  
Hastily, he scribbled this down on his note pad and smiled. It wasn't much, but it might help.   
  
  


After her conversation with Odine, Quistis spent several hours reading through the books so that she would at least be up to speed on what happened to people who'd experienced it and the kinds of things they did while under a Sorceress' control. It was interesting reading, and it was a pity that she couldn't read all of it. There wasn't the time, so she merely scanned the pages and wrote down anything she found interesting. 

In one, she found a story that was particularly fitting. In it, a young girl named Bertha Thomas was possessed by Sorceress Gracianna, Adel's predecessor. The sorceress, who was just a girl of thirteen herself, used Bertha to steal things and bring them back to her. Gracianna amassed a wealth of riches this way, and though she'd promised to share everything with Bertha, the girl got nothing. For several years, Gracianna used Bertha to do her bidding, and though she never harmed anyone, Bertha was eventually caught and thus imprisoned. When Gracianna released her hold on Bertha's mind, the girl could not remember anything before the sorceress, only what she was made to do for her. Any time the girl thought of Gracianna, she immediately felt sharp stabbing pains behind her eyes. 

Just like Seifer. 

Quistis found several more accounts like this one. One where a sorceress had a man kill off her rivals. One with a sorceress with a penchant for practical jokes who used her sister as the brunt of them. There were many, and all of them followed the same pattern. The sorceress lured them in, seized hold of their mind, made them do things, then left them practically shattered when they were let go. 

Quistis' eyes were tired from reading and it was getting late, so she decided to go down and check on Seifer's progress. She gathered up the notes and the books and headed down to the basement, where she found Seifer hunched over a note pad, having great difficulty holding his pencil. His face was beaded with perspiration and he grimaced in pain. 

"Coming along slowly, I see," she said as she opened the door and took a seat on the edge of the desk. 

"Quis, I don't think I can do this," he said and laid his head against her knee. It sent a thrilling sensation through Quistis' body, and she forced it away, though it made her cheeks flush. 

"Come on, Seifer. You have to," she urged quietly. She placed her hand on the back of his neck and began to massage his tense muscles. He needed to relax or he'd give himself a heart attack. She felt bad for pushing him so hard, but with so little time and so much to do, she didn't have any other option. 

"Mmm," he groaned as her hands moved to his shoulders. "Keep doing that." 

"Don't fall asleep on me, now," she said. 

"Nope," he said and sighed. "Making any progress?" 

Quistis smiled to herself. "I got Dr. Odine to testify on the mechanics of Sorceress Possession."  
  
Seifer lifted his head and stared up at her. "That's great." 

"Hmm," she said and gave him a crooked grin. "The bad news is that you have to let him study you." 

"What? No way!" 

"If you don't, then he won't testify." 

"Crap." 

"Were you able to come up with anything?" she asked, curious as to what he'd managed to get down. 

He handed her the paper and sat back in his chair, closed his eyes and sighed. "I think we should talk to Matron." 

Quistis nodded slowly as she read. There wasn't much to read, and his handwriting was like chicken scratch. In most places, she couldn't even make out but a word or two. "What's this?" she asked and pointed to a section that looked like he'd merely scribbled. 

"Frustration," he said and rubbed his eyes. 

She put the pad back on the desk. "You're right. Matron's testimony would certainly be to our credit. Rinoa's too." 

"Rinoa?" 

"Ulti . . . she used Rinoa to set Adel free." 

"Oh, right." 

Quistis wondered if Sorceresses experienced any after effects of possession, and she couldn't recall reading anything about that in Odine's books. She'd have to ask Rinoa, she supposed and wrote that down in her own notes. 

With surprising suddenness, Seifer scooped her off the desk top and pulled her into his lap. "Seifer, what are you doing?" Quistis cried in outrage. 

"What do you think?" he asked with a lecherous grin. 

"Let me up," she demanded. "Now." 

It was then that he cupped the back of her neck and kissed her. At first, she fought it, but then she couldn't help herself. Despite the protests in her head, she kissed him back, wanting badly for this to last. It had to last . . . for if not . . . 

When Seifer's hand began to travel slowly up her thigh, Quistis came to her senses. She pulled away and glared at him. "We don't have time for this," she told him in a frosty voice. 

His eyes searched her face for a moment. His expression was serious as he said, "We might never have time for this." 

Quistis knew he was right, but she didn't want to think about that. For now, all she could focus on was the trial and she'd deal with the inevitable consequences of either outcome when the time came. "You don't have another chance, either." 

"Quis . . . I," he began then he stopped and his expression hardened. "Aw hell. Get out of my face, Trepe. I've got work to do."   
  
  
  
  


The next day, Quistis came to Seifer's cell bearing a tray full of cafeteria hot dogs, a large thermos of coffee and a stack of notebooks she'd filled during the night. She was surprised to find an exhausted Seifer slumped over a stack of his own notebooks, scribbling furiously with his teeth bared at the paper. 

"You been working all night?" she asked as she sat down. 

"You too?" he asked and nodded at the bundle in her arms. 

"Of course. Brought lunch," she said. "I hope you're ready because we're going to practice cross examination today. I'm going to warn you, I'll say things that are going to piss you off, and you have to try not to bite my head off, ok? That doesn't make you look good in front of a jury, so try and control your temper." 

He gave her a mock salute and yawned. "I'll be happy when I can sleep again." 

"You and me both," Quistis replied, mirroring his yawn. She poured the coffee and contemplated bringing her own pot down, for she had a feeling it was going to be a long day. She eyed the pages and pages Seifer had written and picked them up. "Looks like you got a lot done." 

He nodded. "Got a bitch of a headache, though." 

"Understandable," she mumbled as she began to read while Seifer ate one hot dog after another.   
  
  
  


Seifer was a bit exhilarated to know that he had three solid witnesses on his side. No matter what the prosecution had planned for him, he knew that if a jury believed his behavior was that of a man under duress, he would be found innocent. Still, with the preconceptions they all must have had, he wasn't confident that they would rule for his release. He knew a jury was supposed to be neutral, but who in the world would have been? All of them lived through it, and unless they lived in a cave somewhere, they knew what he'd done. 

Quistis had been interrogating him for three straight hours and his head ached as if a large, ugly tumor were growing rapidly right behind his eyes. 

"Was your relationship with Edea Kramer sexual?" Quistis asked, and Seifer noticed her blush. 

"What?" he asked startled. 

"They're going to ask you this, you know, so answer it. Was your relationship with Edea Kramer sexual?" 

Seifer felt his cheeks grow warm. "Yes." 

"Yes?" Quistis asked, shocked and she stared at him in disbelief and disgust. 

"Yes. Do I have to explain?" This was a part of it he'd rather not go into, for it sickened him a little to think about it. 

"You'll have to." 

"Fine," he muttered and crossed his arms. "It was part of the seduction. I was . . .just a stupid kid. She offered it and the hormones took over." 

"So Edea Kramer lured you in this way?" 

"No. Ulti . .Ultimecia did, using Edea's body," Seifer said and he grimaced as a sharp pain stabbed him right between the eyes. His head was throbbing and he wished they would stop. "Edea had nothing to do with it." 

"You entered into this part of the relationship willingly." 

"At first. By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late," he said. He rubbed his eyes and groaned. 

"Good," Quistis said and nodded to herself as she sat back in her chair. "You're doing good. We might just have a chance." 

Seifer noticed how truly exhausted Quistis looked. Her eyes were bloodshot and her hands trembled a bit from the amount of caffeine she'd ingested over the course of the day. She needed sleep, and she needed it badly, or else she would collapse before they even got to Deling City. "Quis, I think you should rest." 

"Nope," she said and took another sip of her coffee. 

"I'm serious. I know you want to save me and all, but it's not going to happen if you keep this up," he said and took her hand. 

"There's not time for that," she said and she yawned again. 

"Look, I know time is a factor, but you're not good to me if you're going to fall asleep in the courtroom," he said with a laugh. "Why don't you go lay down for a little while, and I'll wake you up in an hour or so?" 

Reluctantly, she nodded and went to the bed, where she curled up beneath the blanket. "Just an hour?" 

He nodded and turned to the pages that were scattered everywhere and began to organize them by subject. In her exhaustion, neat and tidy Quistis Trepe had lost her sense of order and reason. Seifer smirked at this and glanced back at Quistis, who was already fast asleep. 

An hour later, Seifer too was drained to work any longer and all he wanted to do was rest. Things were going really well, and he saw no harm in letting Quistis sleep through the night. Carefully, he climbed into the bed beside her and sighed as his arm went around her waist. It wasn't long before he, too was asleep.   
  
  
  
  


***notes*** 

Reviews....wow....if my other stories had gotten this kind of response....whew! Thank you guys! Whatever, I'm happy that people are reading and enjoying this. And I am enjoying torturing the FFVIII characters to no end. They're kind of like voodoo dolls . . . *L* Hmph. I'm worn out. Going cross eyed from staring at my computer so much. Starting to get callouses on my fingers from typing so much. *L* Did I make Quistis OOC in this chapter? Bah. *shakes head* Too much thinking! 

I tried to lighten things up a bit with this one, even though it was a bit boring and there was a lot of dialogue. I'm not a fan of stories that consist mostly of dialogue and no description, so I try to stay as far away from doing that as possible...but there are only so many times I can make certain points before everyone gets sick of hearing them. The angsty nature of the previous chapters kinda dragged me down too and I promise it won't all be angsty. I've got a few interesting things planned, and Seifer's starting to get his smart mouth back again. Yay! 

Refugee....you are awesome. Thank you. :)   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Trial and Error

**TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW**

_Prequel to The Devil's Playground_

**Chapter Six**

Trial and Error

Quistis was surprised to learn that every one of her friends wanted to come along for the trial, even Zell. How nice it would look to the jury to see that the world's fated had come to lend Seifer their support. Quistis was grateful, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, she allowed herself to have a little hope. 

From the way Seifer paced the SeeD cabin, Quistis guessed that he was nervous. He appeared agitated and every now and then, he glared at the cuffs around his ankles and hands. The sound of the chains clanking together was beginning to grate on Quistis' nerves, which were already raw from lack of sleep and the tension surrounding the whole event. 

"Seifer, sit down!" she demanded. "You're driving me crazy." 

Seifer fixed her with his patented death glare, but he took a seat beside her without a complaint. "Are we there yet?" 

"No, Seifer. We're not there yet." 

He groaned and closed his eyes. The tension was getting to him too. Well, she couldn't blame him. His life was at stake, after all, and Quistis knew she would be a wreck if she were in his shoes. "You think I've got a chance?" 

"I don't know. All I can say is, we did our best." 

_But what if our best isn't good enough?_ Quistis wondered to herself. 

Oh why couldn't the trial have been in Esthar? At least there, they might have a more sympathetic judge and jury. In Galbadia, both had likely been paid off to render a guilty verdict and the worst possible sentence, regardless of what they thought. The Galbadians were notoriously corrupt, and she feared this was merely a formality before they took Seifer to his death. But then, the entire WTO would be there too, and not all of them were from Galbadia. If any of them felt that the jury had been paid off, then the sentence might be overturned or they might be given another trial in more neutral territory. 

It wasn't like Galbadia was innocent, either. They'd set the plan into motion long before Seifer came into the picture. He just happened to be in the right place at the right time and fell into it. Half of Galbadia's politicians and leaders had been behind the plan to use Edea to take over the world, some had even backed it with private funds, so Seifer wasn't totally guilty. In fact, the only one Quistis could think of who hadn't been for the plan had been General Carraway, who'd gone against orders when he'd asked SeeD to assassinate Edea. Quistis wondered if this might be useful and made a note to research it once they got to the hotel. 

Beside her, Seifer fidgeted with the chains that hung from the cuffs on his wrists. "Can't wait till this is over. I can't stand these damn things." 

"Seifer, what do you know about what was going on politically during that time? You commanded the G-Army for a period, right?" 

"I don't know. I just did what I was told," he said. Then he chuckled. "If that's doesn't tell you how controlled I was, I don't know would." 

"You're right about that," Quistis mumbled and closed her eyes. She was tired, so very, very tired.   
  
  
  


Upon their arrival in Deling City, Seifer was immediately taken into custody. Quistis was reluctant to let him go, for she knew the Galbadians had policies about prisoner welfare that were somewhat inhumane. Quistis knew the guards wouldn't take it easy on him, and she was a bit worried he'd get into a scuffle with them. She was also concerned about his nightmares. She wouldn't be there to calm him down, and it seemed no one but she was capable of doing it anyhow. The guards wouldn't understand. All they would see was that a prisoner was raging around his cell like a madman and take him down. 

She was surprised when Squall put his hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "He can take care of himself." 

"I know," Quistis replied as she watched Seifer be lead away. Seifer looked back at her over his shoulder and flashed a quick grin as he followed obediently behind the guards. She was amazed to see that something he said brought a laugh from two of the guards. He must have turned on that disarming charm of his. 

It was funny. Seifer had the ability to put people at ease when he wanted to, but he rarely used it on those closest to him. He'd always been instead, an arrogant bastard that only Raijin and Fujin could stand to be around. Quistis doubted that he was ever charming with them, either and she wondered in passing, why that was. 

Quistis knew that his charm was only part of the appeal. She had seen underneath the hostility and arrogance to the real Seifer, and the truth was, he was actually a pretty good guy. He'd just never bothered to let anyone know. 

"Quisty, you'd better get some rest," Rinoa suggested. "You've got a big day tomorrow." 

"Rinoa, I've got so much work to do, there's no time for rest," Quistis told her. "I'll rest when this is all over." 

Everyone was sharing a room with someone else. Quistis was the only one with a room all to herself, the odd woman out. That might have delighted her a few years ago, but now it was a reminder of the emptiness in her life. As soon as the door closed, she felt like crying. She was glad that all her friends had come to show their support, but it also depressed her to know that she might leave here alone, while all her friends would still have someone to share their life with. 

She might as well face it. Seifer could very well get the death penalty for this. It was a very real fact, and she didn't know if she was prepared for that. Her public face made everyone think she was, but inside she was tormented. It felt a bit like someone was about to flip a coin and decide her own fate. 

Quistis pushed these thoughts aside and pulled the large stack of files from her brief case. Then, she took out a lap top computer that she'd borrowed from Zell and plugged it in to the data connection. There was still much to be done, and she had already written off sleep for the night, for she still hadn't prepared her opening statement. 

There was so much that went into this, and Quistis didn't understand how lawyers did this sort of thing day in and day out. She for one would not enjoy such a career, and she wished that she'd at least had the benefit of a legal advisor. But, all that was done now. In the morning, the trial would begin. The proof would be in her research, and she could only cross her fingers and wish herself luck. 

She did manage to stay awake most of the night, but some time before dawn, she fell asleep with her head resting on her half written opening statement.   
  
  


Seifer had, thankfully, for the most part, escaped brutality from the guards. He'd been knocked around a little, but it was nothing major. A few bruises here and there. He'd had far worse injuries in his life, and it made him smile to think that Squall had given him most of those injuries. 

Beatings aside, it was trying to sleep that he found brutal. Thanks to the wacko in the cell on his right who cried for his mommy all night, and the nut job in the cell on the left who shouted insults at warp speed, Seifer had not gotten a wink of sleep yet. He tried to ignore them and lay on the hard cot, concentrating on the trial that lay ahead. He hoped he'd be able to testify, for he knew his testimony would make or break the case. 

He had a good reason to want to live. As much as he didn't want to care about Quistis, he was head over heels for her. He wanted to stay alive so that he could properly thank her for working her ass off. And maybe . . . what? Love? The very idea of love was more terrifying to him than the idea of dying, and it was with great trepidation that he even allowed himself to feel anything for her. His feelings for her had started before he had any real grip on who he was, and now, he wasn't so sure he wanted to go there. She knew him too well already, and that was scary. She knew exactly how to hurt him if she wanted to, and he'd never allowed anyone close enough to do that. 

He wasn't afraid that she'd break his heart. If that happened, it wouldn't be that big a deal. It would be just like anything else that had happened to him. No, Seifer was afraid that he'd be the one to break her heart, and as much as he already cared for her, loved her even, he was scared of hurting her. But, if he knew himself and who he used to be, which he still didn't remember everything, he knew that was exactly what would happen. He would hurt, maybe even destroy her. She was a woman who was positively wasting away from a lack of attention, and she deserved better. 

If he went free, he didn't know if he could go through with it. He cared. No. He loved her, but it might be for the best if he backed off. 

Or not. 

He didn't know. What he did know was that he was impulsive. Impulsiveness is what had gotten him into trouble most of his life. Starting a relationship with Quistis wasn't something he could do just because he felt like it, so if he did, he would have to be careful. 

Caution had never been one of his stronger points. 

Seifer groaned and rolled over on his cot. He didn't know what to do or what to think. Why did it have to be so damned confusing? The guy he used to be wouldn't have given a shit, but that guy died with Ultimecia, so why did he feel so conflicted? 

"Hey Almasy! I hope you burn in hell!" The idiot in the next cell called and let out a peal of laughter. 

Seifer ignored him and sighed. What a mess. Everything was so complicated. 

"You're going to get the electric chair! Bzzzt-Bzzt!" 

Seifer grimaced and hoped this wasn't the truth.   
  
  
  


The courtroom was packed with people, and Seifer looked around anxiously at the faces that stared at him. Most of them glared at him with hate in their eyes, though a small group directly behind him all had a little bit of hope and encouragement in theirs. It was from them that he gleaned a bit of hope for himself, and he was glad they were there. 

They went through the motions when the judge came in and made his speech, and Seifer paid little attention to what the man said. That part wasn't important. He wanted to hear what the prosecution was going to say. 

A balding, older gentleman approached the jury and he glanced down at his notecards before speaking. Seifer seized Quists' had under the table and held his breath. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and he saw her stiffen a little as the man began to speak. 

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we are here today to prove that Seifer Almasy is a cold blooded killer of the worst kind. We all know the facts about what he did during the Second Sorceress War. We all know he served an evil from the future without regard for the safety or welfare for anyone but himself. We know that he was a troubled youth and was raised an environment that promotes violence and warfare. 

"The defense is going to try to sway you with a sob story about a poor orphan boy who didn't know any better. They're going to try and convince you of his innocence. Ladies and gentlemen, you and I both know that this man is not innocent. He committed every act, every atrocity, and he is guilty." 

As the man sat down, Quistis stood, smoothed her skirt and approached the jury. Seifer noticed that she left her own set of note cards on the table top. 

"We know the facts," Quistis began and she walked the length of the jury booth with slow steps, peering into each juror's face as she passed. "Yes, the facts are clear cut, aren't they? But most of you know that nothing is ever as it seems and that there are always two sides in every story. How many of you have heard Seifer Almasy's story?" 

The jurors glanced at one another to see if anyone raised a hand. When no one did, Quistis continued. "The prosecution would have you believe that Mr. Almasy is the epitome of evil, that he did these things in cold blood for his own gain. However, there are many other factors that play into this, and there is a story here to be told. It's about a talented, spirited young man with a bright future ahead of him who somehow fell under the spell of a powerful sorceress, a sorceress that controlled his actions and made him do things against his will. 

"It is our contention that Mr. Almasy did not commit these acts of his own doing, ladies and gentlemen. We have evidence that proves this, and I promise you, if you listen to his testimony and the testimony of our witnesses you will indeed agree with me. After hearing his side of this story, I believe, if you have a heart, you will understand what this young man went through and you will find him innocent." 

Seifer decided right then and there that Quistis should have been a lawyer. Even without her note cards, she'd said all the right things and made the jury stop and think. Seifer could see it in their eyes that she'd made her point She returned to the table, red face and flustered. "That's not what I intended to say," she whispered. "Left my damned notes on the table." 

"I noticed," he said and sat up straight. "You did good." 

The prosecution paraded a house full of witnesses through, each telling the story of how Seifer behaved during his command of the G-Army. Most of these witnesses were G-Army themselves or former students of Galbadia Garden, and though Quistis didn't see the need to question them, she did ask a few, to clarify details. 

Then came the family members of victims. This was something Seifer had been dreading. Each story he heard made him want to sink into the floor a little bit more if the angry looks from the crowd didn't already. A few times, he had to swallow back the bile that kept threatening to rise to his throat. The things _she_ made him do were sickening. 

Quistis had no questions for these witnesses.   


  


"Your honor," Quistis said after the sixth victim told her story, "I'd like permission to approach the bench." 

"Permission granted," the judge said. 

Quistis rose from her seat as did the lead prosecutor and she walked quickly to the judge's bench. 

"Sir, I'd like to ask that there be no more of these kinds of witnesses. The jury already knows all this and I don't see why it's relevant or necessary," Quistis began. She was growing tired of hearing the sad tales of lost family members. As tragic as they were, they had already lost their impact, and even the jury was growing restless. 

"Mr. Vann, how many more witness of this kind do you intend to question?" the judge asked the prosecutor. 

"I have five more." 

The judge stared at him as if he were a moron, and Quistis might have smiled if it had been proper to do so. "Mr. Vann, I think we've heard enough. You may call your next witness, as long as there are no more like these." 

"I don't have any others, your honor," Vann said, flustered. 

"Fine," the judge said. "Commander Trepe. Call your first witness." 

The prosecutor sent her a startled look. "Commander?" 

"Lt. Commander, actually," Quistis replied and she turned her attention back to the judge. "Thank you, your honor." 

Quistis returned to her table and winked at Seifer. "Our turn," she said and then turned to address the court. "The defense would like to call Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly to the stand."   
  
  


  
Rinoa's testimony was not only convincing, but the jury seemed to warm to her almost immediately. She told the court of how Ultimecia had used her to unlock Adel's seal while the team was in space, about how it felt to be possessed and made to do things she never would have done in sound mind. She went into great detail on these things, and Quistis was glad that she'd taken the time to prepare Rinoa for questioning. 

"When your powers were passed on to you, were you immediately possessed by Ultimecia?" Quistis asked. 

"Yes. She made it appear as though I was in a coma so that she could get to Ellone and Adel," Rinoa said. 

"What about Mr. Almasy? Did she still control him as well?" 

"Yes. She felt that he'd failed her, yet she still used him after the Garden battle to activate the Lunatic Pandora and take it to Tears Point, subsequently bringing about the Lunar Cry which brought Adel with it and destroyed half of Esthar." 

"How do you know she continued to control Mr. Almasy?" 

"Well, she was in my mind. I could hear her thoughts as clearly as I could hear my own," Rinoa said.   
  


When Quistis finished questioning Rinoa, the prosecutor, Vann began his questions. "Miss Heartilly, you dated Mr. Almasy for a period of time, didn't you?" 

"Yes sir." 

"What was your impression of him at the time?" 

"I thought I was in love with him," Rinoa said. 

Quistis silently cheered. For Rinoa to admit this showed that Seifer couldn't have been all bad before the war. He had to have had some good qualities for someone to care about him enough to think they were in love with him. 

"You thought or you were?" 

"I thought I was." 

"Please explain what you mean." 

"I was young," Rinoa said. "You might call it puppy love." 

The jurors smiled at this, and Quistis suppressed her own grin behind her hand. Beside her, Seifer blushed with what might have been memories of their summer together. 

"Miss Heartilly, were you not a member of a Timber resistance faction when you met Mr. Almasy?" 

"Not a member. A leader," Rinoa said. "The Forest Owls." 

"I see. So you too are against following rules?" Mr. Vann asked. 

His question sent Quistis to her feet. They were trying to discredit her witness! Quistis hadn't thought about Rinoa's days as an anti-government leader and she cried, "Objection! This line of questioning is irrelevant. Furthermore, he's forming opinions for the jury!" 

"Overruled," the judge said. 

Quistis was outraged. Rinoa's involvement with the Forest Owls had nothing to do with Seifer's innocence. Quistis sat down, quietly seething about where the prosecution was taking this. 

"Miss Heartilly, please answer the question." 

"That's a loaded question sir. Sometimes, to do what is right, you have to break the rules," Rinoa said. "Timber was an independent nation before Galbadia invaded and stole their lands. They have a right to have what is theirs back." 

"That's all very nice, Miss Heartilly, but while you were a member of this resistance group, you spearheaded a plan to kidnap lifelong President Vinzer Deling, did you not? Using the aid of SeeD, you planned to kidnap him and force him to return Timber's rights. Am I correct?" 

"Yes sir," Rinoa said and she turned an interesting shade of red. She was getting flustered, and Quistis prayed that she wouldn't lose her temper before the jury. 

"You and the SeeDs failed, am I right?" 

"Yes. We failed." 

"And you know your actions could be considered treason?" 

"Yes sir." 

"Thank you. No further questions," Mr. Vann said, and he smirked at Quistis as he made his way back to his seat. Quistis wanted so badly to make an obscene gesture at him that she had to grab Seifer's hand under the table to prevent it. In a few short minutes, the prosecution had just discredited their first witness. She could only hope that Edea's testimony would go better than this. Edea herself had a clean record, and Quistis knew they'd have a hard time finding dirt on her.   
  
  
  


"Ladies and Gentlemen, court is adjourned for today," the judge announced, and Seifer let out a long, deep sigh of frustration. Things were not going as well as he'd hoped, and he knew that Quistis was just as frustrated as he was. He could see it in the way she packed her notes away in her briefcase and in her tense posture. 

"Stupid son of a bitch," she mumbled under her breath as she slammed the case shut. "I don't see why any of that was necessary." 

"That's the way it works. You make her look good, they make her look bad," Seifer said. "Don't you watch Law and Order?" 

Quistis chuckled bitterly. "It's too bad I don't." 

"Yeah, well. I don't think it would have helped anyway," he muttered. "I guess it's back to the cage for me." 

"Not yet," Quistis said. "I'm having a meeting with all of you in the judge's conference room." 

"For?" 

Quistis stared at him as if he were dense. "To discuss who we want to play the Garden Festival, Seifer. What do you think we're going to do?" 

"Sarcasm does not suit you, my dear," he said and he followed her to the conference room. He had a terrible headache and all he wanted to do was get some rest. 

"Mmm," Quistis said by way of reply. "By the way, Dr. Odine is going to examine you tonight." 

"Oh, great. Another sleepless night. Thanks, Quis." 

Quistis turned around and glared at him. "I don't want to hear it, ok?" she said. "I don't know what sleep is anymore!" 

Seifer felt bad about making the remark when Quistis had been working so hard to help him. She was cranky, exhausted and more than a little frustrated, and he had no right to upset her. But, he didn't say anything, he merely patted her on the back and followed her down the hall to the conference room.   
  
  


"Seifer came to the orphanage when he was about two years old," Edea said as she sat in front of the court the next morning. "His mother was killed by Estharian soldiers during a raid on Dollet during the First Sorceress War, and his father presumably died around that time as well. He'd been taken in by neighbors until the time he came to me." 

"Why were the neighbors unable to continue their care?" Quistis asked. 

"They had six children living in their home at the time and Seifer was the only one who wasn't family, so when the learned they were expecting another child, they were forced to give Seifer up. It wasn't that they didn't love him, it was that they no longer had the ability to care for him." 

This was news to Seifer. He'd never been told any of this, and he wondered why Matron had never said anything. He'd gone his entire life thinking that no one had every really cared for him except for Matron, and now he knew different. Perhaps as a child, he wouldn't have understood the circumstances, and Matron had decided to leave it be. 

Still, he'd grown up with the belief that he was no good. 

"Why weren't you able to find a home for Mr. Almasy," Quistis asked. 

"Well, at that time, there weren't many places for a child to go. Many families had already taken in children from neighbors or friends who died in the war, and for that reason, it was difficult to find an adoptive family or even a foster home for him." 

"So it had nothing to do with his personality?" 

"Not really. Seifer was a rambunctious child, like most of my children were, and he had an aggressive side, but I'd seen worse. For the most part, he was a good boy who'd been through more than any child should. All the war orphans had. Some of my older ones had witnessed their own parents deaths, and several of my older girls had been held prisoner when Esthar conducted a search for a successor to the Sorceress." 

"I see," Quistis said. "You say he was aggressive. Would you elaborate on this?" 

"He was a boy. Boys are typically aggressive, and often competitive, especially in group home situations. It was normal, really. There are so many of them, all needing love and attention, they feel they have to compete or act out in order to get attention. It's very typical of this kind of situation." 

"Thank you," Quistis said and she glanced back at Seifer. "Now, you were possessed by the future sorceress, Ultimecia, correct?" 

"Yes." 

Seifer sat forward with interest. They'd been over this at the meeting the night before, and even though he'd heard much of it, it still held him in thrall. His Matron had been through the same things as he had, and though she did not experience the after effects that he did, she understood. This part of her testimony would be very important in deciding his fate. He hoped that she could articulate what it was like. 

"Tell us, what happened?" 

"She . . . essentially, she went into my mind and controlled my actions. The words I spoke were not my own. The things I did were not my doing. It was as if I were a puppet and she controlled the strings." 

Edea echoed Seifer's feelings exactly. Except that she had not gone willingly, she had merely been taken over.   
  
  
"Did you try to break contact with her?" 

"Yes," Edea said. "Several times." 

"Were you ever able to?"  
  
  
"Only after the SeeDs defeated me a second time was I able to get her out of my mind because I was greatly weakened by the battle. Unfortunately, when I did so, I passed my powers on to Rinoa, and consequently, Ultimecia's possession." 

"Ultimecia used your body to have an affair with Mr. Almasy in attempt to lure him into her service, am I correct?" 

Edea's cheeks turned a deep shade of crimson and she looked down. "Yes," she said softly. 

"What did that make you feel?" 

Seifer's own cheeks flamed and he too was forced to look away. It was humiliating to have this exposed, but he saw the reasoning behind Quists' decision to bring it up. If the prosecution had no dirty little secrets to reveal, it made it harder to discredit Edea. 

"It made me feel . . . well, now," Edea said as she collected her bearings, "I felt disgust at having my body used that way, of course. Who wouldn't?" 

"Are you angry at Mr. Almasy about this?" 

"No. No, I'm not. He was as much a pawn as I was."   
  
  
  


As Quistis sat in her hotel room that evening with Dr. Odine and Rinoa, she was deeply concerned about her decision to have him testify. What he was asking was a bit absurd, even scandalous, and she didn't want to make a mockery of her defense. But, she was desperate to find a way to prove to the jury that a subject of possession had no control over his own behavior. It was fine to say it was so, even with Odine's research to back it up, but they still lacked proof. She knew that balding bastard Vann would discount this as merely a theory, or worse, a story told by guilty souls to get out of the crimes they'd committed. 

She was further concerned that Odine would become belligerent on the stand, as he was not known for being tactful when his research was questioned. She hoped that he'd behave himself and she prayed that the prosecutor would not make Odine mad enough to make him use the word 'fisticuffs.' 

Presently, they discussed his unorthodox suggestion regarding proof. 

"If ve hav Sorceress Rinoa possess a body for ze court to see, it vill make for very interesting evidence, vill it not?" Odine said as she sipped a glass of bourbon. 

"Yes, I suppose it would," Quistis said. "But who will we have her possess? No one would believe it if she were to possess Seifer. The prosecution will say it was all acting." 

"So ve ask for a volunteer!" Odine said as if the answer were obvious. 

"What do you think, Rinoa?" Quistis asked skeptically. 

Rinoa sighed and rubbed her eyes. "First of all, I don't even know if I can possess someone. I mean, I've read a lot of books about it and how it's done, but I don't know if I could do it. And second, it seems a little . . . silly." 

"Maybe," the doctor said. "Perhaps ve should try it out." 

"On who?" Quistis asked. 

"A neutral party, of course, preferably a man who von't hav to testify." 

Quistis looked at Rinoa who was grinning back at her. "Zell," they both said in unison. 

Ten minutes later, Zell sat on the edge of Quistis' bed, looking a little put out by being dragged away from Zoe by two insistent women. "Just so you know, you owe me. Big time," he said and he crossed his arms against his chest. "All right. Do what you have to, Rinoa. Just promise me, you won't do anything humiliating." 

Rinoa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After several long moments of concentration, she opened her eyes and grinned. "I'm in." 

"All right. Now, make him do somesing," Odine commanded. "Somesing he vouldn't normally do." 

"Something he wouldn't normally do . . ." Rinoa murmured and stared at the wall across from her. Then, she snapped her fingers and gave Quistis an evil grin. "Got it." 

As if on cue, Zell stood up and began to dance around the room, chanting. "I'm a chicken-wuss, yeah! A chicken-wuss! Oh baby, I'm a chicken-wuss!" 

Despite herself, Quistis began to laugh. She laughed so hard, tears began to roll down her cheeks. "It's a pity Seifer's not here to see this." 

"We need a video recorder," Rinoa remarked, giggling. "Where's Selphie when we need her?" 

"Vat is zis?" Odine asked, in confusion. Clearly, he didn't get the joke, and it only made the two women laugh harder. 

"You said something out of character . . ." Rinoa said and dissolved into giggles once more. 

"Ok, Rinoa, that's enough," Quistis finally said as she wiped tears away from her cheeks. "Cut him loose." 

When Rinoa severed the connection, Zell turned to her and glared, his cheeks flaming. "I said nothing humiliating!" 

"Oh, stuff it, Zell," Quistis said. "You can go back to your room now." 

Zell literally stomped from the room, muttering about crazy women and he slammed the door behind him. 

"So . . .," Odine began, "You vant to try zis in ze court?"   
  
Quistis smiled to herself. "Dr. Odine, you're a genius. This just might work."   
  
  
  


Seifer was exhausted as he took his seat the next morning. He'd been up all night for the second time in a row in the prison infirmary letting Dr. Odine run tests, poke at him with needles and ask a million questions. At that point, he didn't care if he lived or died, he just wanted a long, quiet nap. Quistis looked no better. The dark circles under her eyes showed through her make up, and she drank cup after cup of coffee to keep herself awake. 

He had no idea what kind of testimony Odine would give, and he worried that Odine would either confuse the jury or anger the judge. More than once in the last two nights, Seifer felt like killing the obnoxious little man for being the way he was. 

Seifer listened through Odine's speech on the mechanics of Sorceress Possession, how it happened, what the subject experienced, and all about the after effects. Then, he went into the information he'd compiled regarding Seifer himself from his studies and found it to be consistent with past test subjects. Seifer found all this quite boring, but Odine managed to stay respectful as Quistis questioned him, and Seifer noted that the jury listened with interest to what the man said. Seifer himself had forgotten that Odine was very respected throughout the world, and these jurors felt as if they were in the presence of a legend. 

"So," Quistis said and turned to the judge. "We have prepared a little demonstration, with your permission of course, your honor, to show the jury how easy it is for a sorceress to possess another and make him do as she wishes." 

"I'll grant your request," the judge said and nodded. 

"All right. Rinoa, will you come to the front please?" Quistis asked. 

Seifer sent Quistis a questioning glance, and she mouthed, "Trust me." Seifer had no idea what it was they were planning, but he hoped it would help. 

"We will need a male volunteer for this demonstration," Quistis said. "Anyone will do." 

"You've got to be kidding me," Mr. Vann cried. "This is ridiculous. This could be a set up!" 

"Fine, then Mr. Vann, why don't you volunteer?" Quistis asked and she raised an eyebrow at him, a challenge if Sefier ever saw one. 

"Certainly," he said and stepped forward. 

A moment later, Rinoa had the man standing on top of the table singing 'Eyes on Me,' as he slapped himself about the head and shoulders. Seifer could barely contain his laughter, and members of the jury were doing nothing to hide their own. Even the judge chuckled a little before he caught himself. 

"Thank you Rinoa," Quistis said as the humiliated prosecutor sputtered and looked as if he might kill Quistis on the spot. "As you can see, possession is very real. I'm sure Mr. Vann would never have behaved that way of his own volition, am I correct Mr. Vann?" 

The prosecutor merely glared at her hatefully as he returned to his seat.   
  
  
  


"It didn't happen as quickly as it did with Mr. Vann," Seifer said as he sat at the witness stand in front of the court. He was nervous, though he tried hard not to show it. "It was a slower process I think, beginning with a series of very realistic dreams. In them, I was a knight, defending a faceless sorceress who whispered promises that I'd soon a great warrior." 

"When did the dreams begin?" Quistis asked. 

"About . . . three months before I met Edea in Timber." 

"So, they began around the time Galbadia formulated the plan to use a sorceress to conquer the world." 

"Approximately, yes." 

"You had no prior knowledge of what the Galbadian Army was up to?" 

"No. At that time, I was concentrating on my duties at Balamb Garden," Seifer said. He was sweating under his suit jacket, which suddenly felt terribly uncomfortable. 

"When you met Edea in Timber, you went with her willingly?" 

"Yes." 

"Why?" 

"Because . . . I knew her as Matron. I trusted her. She was the only person in my life who'd showed me any sort of kindness, and I thought, because of that, she couldn't be evil." 

"She was like a mother to you." 

"She was the only mother I'd ever known," Seifer said sincerely, and he met Edea's eyes as he said this. Edea pressed her hand to her breast and smiled. 

"When you went with her, Ultimecia didn't control you?" 

"No." Seifer pressed his hand to his temple and grimaced. 

"When did that begin?" Quistis asked and she gave him a wink of reassurance. 

"I can't pinpoint it exactly, but it may have only been a few hours after I followed her. I was too caught up in the dream of being a knight to realize what was happening to me." 

"And when you realized she had control over you, what did you do?" 

"Well, I couldn't do anything," he said. "She had me and wouldn't let go. From there on out, I was hers." 

"You tried to fight it?" 

"After I knew what Ul . .Ulti . . .Ultimecia ha . . .had planned," he said. The pain in his head was growing more intense by the minute. He could only endure so much before it became too intense to bear. 

"Tell me about your romantic dream," Quistis said. She was steering him away from Ultimecia, he knew, and he was grateful. He could see the concern in her face as she asked the question, and he understood his discomfort was evident in his face. Despite this, he smiled a little at the thought of his childish dream. 

"When I was a kid, I saw the movie, The Sorceress' Knight. I wanted to be like the guy in that movie, you know? A brave defender of an endlessly persecuted but kind Sorceress. In the end, the Sorceress and the Knight fell in love and lived happily ever after. It's kind of silly now, but then, well, you all know how it is. When you're young, you have this idea of what it's supposed to be like, and that's how I wanted my life to turn out." 

"So this is what you thought you'd be doing when you went with Edea?" 

"Yes."   
  
  
  
  


It had been two days, and the jury was still deliberating. Quistis paced her room as she waited for news of the verdict, and she mentally went over every detail of the trial. All things aside, the evidence she'd presented was convincing, and the prosecution had done little to discredit anyone but Rinoa. Vann had even been at a loss when he'd questioned Seifer because Quistis had brought up every scandal, every piece of dirt she could so that they'd be left with nothing to bring up. 

The evidence was convincing, so why the hell was it taking so long? Certainly, it wasn't a cut and dry case, but the prosecution's efforts had been weak at best, while her own had been well planned and executed. She felt like patting herself on the back for doing such a good job with so little time. Well, she wouldn't do that unless he was found not guilty. Only then could she acknowledge her own efforts and feel good about it. 

As she paced the room, she prayed that the jury would come back with a definite decision. A hung jury would be a nightmare, for she didn't want to have to go through this again. She knew she should be resting, but she was too pent up to sit down and relax. At any moment, the jury could come out of their little room and decide Seifer's fate. 

She was proud of the way he'd remained calm and collected on the stand, even when the pain became intense. He'd done well and she intended to tell him so once the whole thing was over, whether he lived or died. 

So. Seifer's life hinged on the decision of twelve people they didn't know. Quistis felt as if they decided her own fate, too. To work so hard for this only to fail would be devastating. 

Shortly after noon, the phone rang. She picked it up and muttered her greeting. 

_"Lt. Commander Trepe? The jury's reached a verdict."_   
__   
  
  
  
  


***Notes*** 

Don't you just HATE cliffhangers? *L* Damn this is one long chapter! Originally, I was going to make it two, but it just didn't make sense to break it up like that. So....here's the whole trial. Hope it's not too boring. I apologize for the amount of dialogue here....but it had to be done. 

I am doing something different with this story, by the way. All my others were already written out in long hand before I began posting them. With this one, I'm not doing that. None of these chapters were written before I started typing. While I know where I'm taking this, I'm basically writing these chapters off the top of my head. I don't normally write this way . . . but . . . well, if something seems off about this, that's why. 

Thanks to my reviewers! :)   


Soooo....review, flame, cc? Do what you gotta do. 


	7. The Verdict

**TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW**

_Prequel to The Devil's Playground_

**Chapter 7**

Boys Night Out

In the courtroom was a dead silence that Seifer found unnerving as they waited for the jury to appear and decide whether his life would end today or not. He clasped Quistis' hands under the table, holding tight to them, afraid to let go. Neither spoke or dared even breathe as the seconds ticked by like days. What the hell was taking them so long? 

Finally the jury entered, one by one, and Seifer stiffened as he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder. He glanced back and saw the hand belonged to Rinoa, who gazed solemnly back at him. In her eyes were understanding and forgiveness. 

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury," the judge began. "How do you find the defendant?" 

The jury foreman hesitated and Seifer held his breath. So, it had come down to this very moment. In a second, he'd know his fate. The question was, could he handle it? Could he handle being ripped away from the new life he'd barely begun? Could he face his death without regrets? 

Regrets. No, there would be a lot of those. Too many to count, whether he lived or died. But he found, as he waited, that he didn't want to die. He wanted to find out what awaited him outside the bars of the prison and the walls of the courtroom. 

"Yes, your honor," the foreman said. "We the jury find Mr. Almasy not guilty." 

Seifer felt the breath leave his lungs, and for a second, he was unable to reclaim it. Around him, the crowd erupted, part in protest, the other part in jubilation. Behind him were the loudest cries of joy, and though his heart echoed them, he could not move from his seat. He was stunned as he closed his eyes and sat back in his chair. Not guilty. He was a free man. 

"Mr. Almasy," the judge said and Seifer opened his eyes. "Although I don't completely agree with the jury's ruling, the evidence your defender presented was intriguing enough to raise questions about your guilt. So, in light of their ruling, Mr. Almasy, you are free to go." 

"Thank you sir," Seifer replied and a moment later, he was on his feet. He turned to Quistis and found himself unable to speak. 

Quistis' eyes teared up and her hands were pressed to her mouth to trap a cry of happiness that she wouldn't dare let escape. She too, had no words, and Seifer pulled her into a fierce embrace, holding her tight in his arms. "You did it," he whispered into her ear. "Hyne, you really did it!" 

"We did it," she whispered back. 

Unable to contain himself any longer, he picked her up off of her feet and spun her around. She let out a peal of laughter and buried her face in his shoulder as her arms wrapped around his neck. He could feel her breath and tears against his neck, and for a moment, he thought he might never let her go. 

"I owe you my life, Quis." 

"Maybe one day, you'll make it up to me." 

Seifer was filled with a profound sense of love for her as he held her close, with the sounds of pandemonium all around. The courtroom was going crazy. There were tears, cries of joy, moans of protest and uncensored displays of anger, but Seifer didn't give a damn about any of it. All he knew was that he was free, and Quistis was the reason. He would always be in debt to her, no matter what he did to make it up. She'd given up so much for this, she'd put so much heart into it, and he couldn't imagine how he might be able to repay this kindness. 

Well, he knew what he could do, but that prospect was frightening in itself. 

In that moment of quiet madness, with Quistis in his arms, he whispered, "Thank you, Quis." The words felt alien on his lips. Seifer Almasy never said thank you, and he supposed it was about time he started. He had a lot of people to thank, including Squall. 

When he released her, he could see the pride as well as the exhaustion in her eyes. She knew she'd worked hard, and she knew it had paid off, and now that it was over, the weariness shone through more than it had before. As selfish as it seemed, he wasn't ready to let her rest. 

He wanted to celebrate. 

"Waddya say we get the hell out of here?" he asked her and held his arm out for her to take. 

She slipped her arm through his and practically leaned on him to keep upright. "Thought you'd never ask," she replied. 

They joined the people Seifer was now able to consider friends, his old orphanage gang, and there was a grin on every single face that came to greet the pair. Seifer hadn't expected to see them so jubilant to see him go free. Not even Chicken-wuss could deny his grin, and Seifer was a bit humbled. 

"Color me impressed," Irvine said as he slipped his arms around Quistis and gave her a friendly hug and a pat on the back. "If I'm ever in trouble, I'm gonna get you to defend me." 

"Don't count on it," Quistis said with a weak laugh. "This is the first and the last time. Ever." 

"You are one lucky son of a bitch," Irvine told Seifer and he gave him a rough pat on the arm. 

Luck? What did luck have to do with it, Seifer wondered. It wasn't luck that he'd gotten off without so much as a slap on the hand and a few nights behind bars. It seemed more like . . . fate, perhaps? "Thanks, man," Seifer said and offered his hand. 

Squall came next. "Congratulations," he said, and he too offered a hand to Seifer. 

"The congratulations go to Quistis," Seifer replied. 

For a moment, Squall stared at him. "Never thought I'd hear you say that." 

"Not a smart mouthed kid anymore," Seifer replied with a grin. "I can give credit where credit is due." 

"So," Headmaster Cid began, "In celebration, how about I treat everyone to an early dinner at the hotel?" 

Everyone agreed, even Quistis who appeared ready to fall over on the spot. Together, they made their way past the reporters and photographers to the hotel a few blocks away. On the way there, Seifer took Cid aside. "Sir, I apologize for . . ." 

"No need," the headmaster said, cutting him off. His expression was a bit pained, but there was not a trace of anger in his eyes. "It was just her body, not her mind. All is forgiven." 

Seifer felt a great relief at these words. "Thank you, sir."   
  


During the meal at the hotel, Quistis was very quiet, Seifer noticed. Unusually quiet. She smiled often and accepted her well deserved praise graciously, but she said little as they ate their dinner. Seifer knew that this was just exhaustion catching up with her, and he too was feeling a little weary, however, he was in good spirits and sleep could wait till later. He wanted to enjoy this new freedom while he could still appreciate it. 

"Hey, Quistis, that was some party trick you and Rinoa pulled up there," Irvine said as he pushed his empty plate away and grinned at Rinoa. "Can you do that again?" 

"Only if you're my subject," Rinoa replied with a innocent smile. 

"Now that might be interesting," Irvine said. "Try it out on me." 

"Trust me, cowboy," Seifer said seriously. "You don't want to go there." 

"Yeah, take his word for it, man," Zell agreed and he put his hand to his head. 

Seifer found this curious and he made a mental note to ask Quistis about it later. "Got a headache or something, chicken-wuss?" he asked. 

Zell looked as though he might come across the table and attack him. "What did you call me?!" 

"Settle down," Cid said and pushed Zell back into his chair. "Let's let bygones be, shall we?" 

Zell merely glared his response back at Seifer. Seifer ignored him and turned his attention to Quistis, who stifled a yawn and then smiled up at him. She looked so tired, he wanted to suggest that she get some rest. She'd worked so hard, and he could tell how it had caught up with her, now that it was over. Seifer couldn't help but wonder what she'd be doing right now if the verdict had been different. Crying perhaps? 

As he was about to suggest she rest for a while, Quistis pushed away from the table and stood up. "Sorry to be a killjoy, but I think I need to lay down for a little while." 

"I'll walk you," Seifer said and got to his feet. He couldn't help but notice the looks exchanged among the group at the table. Some raised an eyebrow, others smiled knowingly. 

"Not necessary," Quistis told him. 

"Let me walk you," he insisted, ignoring the looks he was getting. 

"All right," Quistis said, too tired to argue. She noticed the pointed glances too, and her cheeks flushed. "I'll see you guys later." 

Seifer held out his arm to her and they walked slowly to the elevator.   
  
  
  


When Seifer returned to the table a few minutes later, Cid ordered a round of drinks, and Seifer gratefully accepted a Mimmet and bourbon. 

"Is Quisty all right?" Rinoa asked, concern lining her face. 

"Just worn out," Seifer told her. "She'll be fine once she gets some sleep." 

As the afternoon wore on, Cid continued to by drinks, and Seifer continued to accept them. By nightfall, he was in no uncertain terms, crocked. But it was all right, since everyone else seemed pretty sauced too, including Cid himself. It was the first time in a very long time that Seifer had been able to drink and actually enjoy it. 

"Gentlemen," Irvine said in a slurred voice. "I propose we take leave of this table and go find some place where we can get rowdy." 

"I schecond the motion," Zell said as he stood. Zell had far more than his share and it showed. "Shomewhere with a pool table." 

"Irvie," Selphie protested and crossed her arms. "You're already drunk." 

"Nah. I'm not drunk. Not yet anyway," Irvine told her and laid his hand on her cheek. "You ladies stay here and give each other makeovers or whatever it is that you do." 

"OOohh, makeovers!" Selphie cried and turned to Rinoa, who rolled her eyes at the pint sized cheerleader. 

"Seifer, you coming?" Irvine asked. "It's on me." 

"Why the hell not?" Seifer said and stood up to join the cowboy. 

"Squall?" Irvine asked. 

"Sure," Squall said with a cheesy grin. It amused Seifer to see that Squall was a happy drunk. He'd always figured Squall would be a sullen after too many drinks, so it was a bit of a surprise to see him smiling from ear to ear as he pushed his chair in. 

"Cid?" 

"No thanks, son. I'm too old for that," Cid replied and put his arm around Edea's shoulders. "I'm going to spend the evening with my lovely wife." 

"Party pooper," Zell mumbled. 

"Let's go find ourselves a bar," Irvine announced as he got to his feet. 

"Um," Rinoa said, "I know this is guys night out or whatever, but would you mind if I tagged along? I'm up for a few games of pool." 

Zell groaned. "You just wanna prove you're shtill the besht pool player at Garden," he said. "No way. This ish for the guys. You're not a guy." 

"So what?" Rinoa asked and put her hands on her hips. "I'm not allowed to go out?" 

"Go out with Shelfie," Zell said and wobbled a bit on his feet. Seifer noted that the boy was pretty far gone, and likely wouldn't last very long. 

"Irvine?" Rinoa asked as she batted her eyelashes at him. 

"Why not? I'm up for a challenge." Irvine said and he headed for the door. "Well, come on if you're comin'."   
  
  
  


The bar was loud, full of cigarette smoke and stank of stale beer. It was the kind of place Seifer could get into, and it would be a perfect spot to celebrate his freedom. He wished Quistis had come, but it wouldn't have been fair to wake her up and drag her along. Besides, he couldn't imagine her getting off on a place like that. Well, after a few drinks, maybe she would. 

There were pool tables, dart boards and video games in the back, and at the bar itself were several small televisions, each displaying a different sporting event. The crowd itself was young, for the most part, and there seemed to be far more males than females in the place. Typical for a seedy sports bar, Seifer supposed. 

As Irvine and Seifer entered the bar, Zell, Squall and Rinoa had already made their way ahead of them to the pool tables where Rinoa was surveying the selection of pool cues and Zell was bragging in a very loud voice that he was going to beat her. Seifer wondered if he ever had beaten her. Rinoa was terribly good at pool, and Seifer himself had only beat her once when they were dating. 

"Buy you a drink?" Irvine asked as they surveyed the place together. 

"I don't swing that way, cowboy," Seifer replied and sat down on a stool at the bar. 

"Nor do I," Irvine said and gave him a lopsided smirk. "So what are we drinking?" 

"I can buy my own drinks," Seifer protested. Truth be told, he only had a small amount of Gil on him, but he was too proud to admit this to the cowboy. He didn't want to be a beggar. 

"Tonight the drinks are on me. You can return the favor some other time," Irvine said. "So what are we drinking?" 

"Tequila." 

"My man!" Irvine cried and patted him on the back. "Now we're talking." 

Seifer remembered only a little of Irvine from the orphanage, and what he did remember were incidents involving fireworks. And he hadn't known him later as he had Quistis and Squall, but he could see where the cowboy might end up being a good friend. At least he had a drinking buddy, anyway, and that in itself was a good thing. 

"Two shots of Tequila!" Irvine called out over the noise. Then the turned to Seifer. "So, man, what's up with you and Quistis?" 

"What do you mean, what's up with me and Quistis?" Seifer asked. 

"How do you feel about her?" 

"Quis, she's great," Seifer said, and he was mortified to feel his cheeks begin to burn. Fortunately, the lights were dim, and he doubted the cowboy could see the way his skin flamed at the mere mention of anything Quistis. 

"And?" 

"I don't know," Seifer said. "I'm grateful to her. For everything she did." 

The bartender placed their shots on the bar before them. "Bottoms up," Irvine said and held the glass in the air. "Make a toast." 

Seifer was at a loss as to what he should toast to. Quistis? His freedom? There were so many things he could say, but half of them were cheesy, and the other half were practically love sick homages to Quistis. After a pause, he held his own glass in the air and said, "Here's hoping I don't have a hangover tomorrow." 

Irvine laughed and they touched the shot glasses together. Then, Seifer knocked his drink back and swallowed the shot without tasting it. It went down smooth and he slammed the glass back down onto the bar. 

There was a triumphant female cry from the back of the room and Seifer turned towards the sound. Rinoa, who'd obviously had plenty to drink herself as evidenced by her rosy cheeks, was holding her hand out to Zell, who dug in his pockets for what Seifer assumed was cash. He chuckled at this and shook his head. "Anyone ever beat her?" 

"Not to my knowledge," Irvine replied and signaled to the bartender to bring another round. "That girl's damn good. Give her an hour and she'll be hustling everyone." 

Seifer smirked and accepted a second shot of Tequila. "Your turn to toast," he told Irvine as he held his glass up. 

"May life treat you kind, my friend."   
  
  
  


Quistis couldn't sleep. She'd managed to get a few hours of rest, but a sound in the hallway had woken her an hour before and she hadn't been able to get back to sleep since. She sat up in the bed and wondered where everyone was. Seifer had not yet returned, and likely, he was out celebrating. Quistis would have liked to join him, but she'd been about to fall asleep at the table during dinner. She knew she wouldn't have lasted an hour more even if he'd been there. 

She was grateful that everyone had allowed her rest, but now, she was lonely and bored. The last several days had been hectic at best, yet her body had adjusted to the pace and she felt the need to do something, anything, to keep herself busy. After she'd paced the hotel room for what seemed the hundredth time, she went to the darkened window, stared out at the night and she let her thoughts take over. 

Perhaps now there was a chance for her to find what she'd been looking for. Perhaps she might find it in Seifer. Perhaps not. Still, she hoped that whatever spark there had been between them since he'd returned was still present. It was terribly exciting to think that he might look at her as if she were something special, that he might care for her, and at the same time, both were equally frightening. Could she really let him into her heart? Would she let him tear the walls down and see what was inside? She didn't know, and part of her didn't want to find out. 

Quistis knew she was a lot like Squall in this respect. Before Rinoa, Squall had been so afraid that someone might get to know the real him, and end up hurting him, that he chased away anyone who dared try. Quistis too was afraid of being hurt. She'd once preached to Squall about accepting help from others, but the truth was, deep down in side, she felt the same way he had. She still felt that way, while Squall had learned to depend on those who cared about him. 

Truth be told, she was deeply in love with Seifer, but she was afraid to let it show. Even more afraid now than before because it might actually end up somewhere. Wherever it might go, she feared that he'd only hurt her. Squall had put that thought into her head the night they'd taken him away, and she hadn't been able to shake it since. Even as she was defending Seifer, the thought was there, despite what she felt in her heart. 

As Quistis leaned her head against the cold pane of glass, she sighed and hoped that Seifer loved her back.   
  
  
  
  


"I am shoooo in love wish Quish," Seifer slurred as he climbed up onto the pool table. Rinoa had just beaten him for the fifth time in a row, but he didn't care. He was just happy to be alive, happy to be drunk and happy to be in love. "Hey you peoples," he said to the faces that stared up at him as he walked back and forth across the table, "I'm Sheifer Almasy. I'm in love wish Quish Trep . . .pe. Yoush got a problem wish that?" 

"Hey Rinoa," Irvine asked as he grinned up at Seifer, "are you making him do that?" 

Rinoa shook her head. "Sadly, no." 

"All right saucy," Irvine said to Seifer. "Come on down. You've made your point." 

"I'm a free man!" Seifer cried to the crowd. He wasn't going to come down until everyone knew how happy he was to be free and still alive. "I'm free!" 

He didn't see the figure to the left, who clenched his hands at his sides in attempt to control his anger. That figure suddenly lunged at him, caught him around the legs and threw him back against the table. Cries of panic erupted from all around and Seifer was confused. He was supposed to be standing, wasn't he? So why was his back flat against the table, and why where the ceiling fans spinning so fast? "Hey," he muttered, and then a fist hit him square in the nose. Pain spiraled through his face and he saw stars behind his eyes. 

"Because of you, my girlfriend is dead!" A voice screamed and then the fist hit him again. Seifer was too drunk to realize what was going on, and it didn't even occur to him to fight back. 

Then, the figure was gone, and he felt hands under his arms that dragged him from the table. "Come on, man," Irvine's voice said in his ear. "I don't think we're welcome here anymore." 

"Yeah, letsh go home," Seifer said as he got to his feet. "The roomsh spinning." 

"Oh, hell," Irvine said and grabbed him by the arm. "Let's get out of here." 

"Hey, I told you I don't shwing that way," Seifer protested. 

"And I told you I don't either, now let's go before you get killed or something," Irvine said and dragged Seifer to the door. 

"Are you taking me to my Quish?" Seifer asked. He really hoped so. He wanted to see her face and give her a great big kiss. "Did I tell you I love Quish?" 

"About twenty times now," Irvine said. 

Fortunately for Seifer, the hotel was only a block away, and Irvine was able to guide him without any major incidents. Squall, Rinoa and Zell were close behind, though Zell was about as bad off as Seifer. 

"Alright, now cool it," Irvine told the crew as he opened the front door of the hotel. "Don't talk, just walk, ok?" 

"Whatever you shay, boss," Seifer replied and he saluted his companion. 

They made it through the lobby without incident, though once inside the elevator, Seifer made for the buttons and began pressing them. He liked the way they glowed when they were pushed. At the bottom was a red one. "What doesh this do?" he asked and stuck his finger out to push it. 

"Don't touch that, Seifer," Rinoa said, annoyed. 

Seifer laughed and leaned against the wall as the elevator came to a halt. The doors opened to an empty floor. "Why'd we shtop?" he asked. 

"That's what happens when you push every button," Rinoa said. 

"Sho what do we do wish him?" Zell asked. Zell looked a little green around the edges, as if he might be sick. 

"Take him to Quistis, I guess," Squall said. 

"Quishtish is gonna be pished," Zell said and giggled. 

"I doubt that," Irvine muttered. 

After stopping on every single floor, the elevator finally came to the floor they were seeking. Seifer shuffled forward and looked about. He knew this place. He'd been there before. Quistis had taken him there when he was a bum on the streets. 

He followed Irvine to a door marked '503' and Irvine began to pound on it. "Quistis?" he called. 

"Shhh!" Seifer hissed. "Quish ish shleeping." 

"Yeah, well, we're going to wake her up," Irvine said.   
  
  
  
  


Quistis was startled from her thoughts by a loud knock and muffled voices from the side of the door. "Quistis?" Irvine's voice called, and Quistis hurried to answer it. She flung the door open and was shocked to see a bloody, intoxicated Seifer standing in the hall, grinning like a fool. 

"Brought you a present," Irvine said and pushed the drunken man into the room. 

"What did you guys do to him?" Quistis asked as she headed for the bathroom to collect first aid supplies. 

"Nothing," Irvine said innocently. "Well, good night!"  
  
  
And with that, he closed the door. Quistis heard muffled laughter from the other side as her friends made their way to their own rooms. Quistis was a little miffed that they'd get Seifer trashed, get into a bar room brawl and then just leave her to deal with it. 

"Quish," Seifer said happily as she returned with a small potion and a few bandages. "Quish, I love you shooo mush." 

"That's nice, Seifer," Quistis replied. She wanted to smile, but she was too irritated to express what she felt inside. "But do you mind telling me what happened?" 

Seifer looked perplexed. "I don't know. Shome guy wash mad at me." 

Quistis tended to his wounds in silence, and she couldn't help but notice the way he was looking at her. It made her shiver a little, for he was looking at her with the same expression Squall sometimes gave Rinoa. Was it only because he was drunk? She didn't know, but it gave her a little hope, for alcohol was as effective a truth serum as sodium pentathol. 

"You're shoooo beautiful," Seifer said as she tossed the empty potion into a nearby trash bin. "And I'm shooo in love wish you." 

Finally, Quistis allowed herself to smile. "Are you really?" 

"Yesh!" He cried and stood up, but then sat back down when he lost his balance. 

"Hmph. I think you'd better sleep it off, tough guy," Quistis said and she guided him to the spare bed. "You're going to have one nasty hangover tomorrow." 

"Nope," Seifer said and shook his head. "I shaid a toast. No hangoversh for me!" 

Quistis hadn't any idea what he was talking about, so she kept quiet and helped him take his shoes off. Then, she covered him with the blanket. "Get some sleep," she instructed and then returned to her spot at the window. 

She sat there for more than an hour, smiling faintly to herself. When she was certain he was asleep, she sat down on her own bed and looked at him. There was definitely a nice guy hiding somewhere beneath all that bravado, and Quistis made up her mind to draw him out. 

After a while, she switched out the light, climbed beneath her own blankets and whispered to the darkness, "I love you too, Seifer."   
  


  
  


  
  
***Notes***   


**WARNING:** ANGSTY DRUNKEN RAMBLINGS AHEAD 

Apologize if this chapter is badly written or if I failed to edit properly. Drunk off my ass. Pissed at the world......it's been a traumatic week to say the least. My head's not in the right place right now, and all I can do to distract myself is to write. Even if I have to write badly. It's the only thing I have to fall back on. Still, I've been in a really bad place for several days now, and I haven't even been able to sit down and write until today. I feel like my whole life is falling apart before my eyes, and unfortunately that's not too far off. Everything's going to change from this point on..... 

Sometimes, life drops a bomb on you . . . do you wait out the explosion or do you let it take you down with it? Am I being cryptic? Sorry. It's just that....you marry someone, you expect it to be forever, you put your heart into it, you support, love and back them up every step of the way . . . only to see your best efforts fail. What do you do? Do you call it quits? After eight years of friendship, are you willing to let it go? And if you let it go, do you walk away and not look back? Do you force yourself not to care? And when there's no more beer left in the fridge, do you walk your miserable drunk ass self down to the nearest gas station to by more or do you go to bed and sleep it off? 

And what if that person you married and care about has done the unforgivable? You can't trust him anymore, but he wants to stay married-and of course, you still stupidly love him-but the question is, how do you continue something that's been a lie? And how do you know he won't go back to her when times get hard again? How can you be expected to forgive it? 

Well, people, I don't forgive it. He's done enough to hurt me, and I'm not going to sit back and take more, no matter how much he says he 'loves' me, especially when I know he's told her the same thing. The thing is, I'm the one who has to rebuild my life while he can continue on being the same heartless bastard he's become. I'm the one who's going to have to find a place to live, and I'm the one who will have to make due on a pathetic income, since just before he dropped this bomb on me, he got fired and no longer has an income. It's mind blowing that he didn't consider what kind of position his actions would put me in. But then, what cheater considers the feelings of the other person anyhow? Mine certainly weren't. The worst of it is, though, the person he cheated with is someone really close to me, or so I thought. I hate them both. 

So, if my updates are not as frequent as you're used to, please forgive me. This is not easy, and I have a lot on my plate right now and I'm having to deal with it on my own. And, it's hard to write a romance type story when your own romantic life has just been shit all over. I will update, just not as often. 

Peace. 

Sara 


	8. All or None

**TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW**

_Prequel to The Devil's Playground_

_"It's a hopeless situation_

_and I'm starting to believe_

_that this hopeless situation_

_is what I'm trying to achieve . . ."_

~Pearl Jam, _All or None_

**Chapter 8**

**All or None**

Things returned to normal nearly the moment Quistis set foot in her office the next afternoon, after a long, restful train ride home. Her desk was already piled high with work, and her list of phone messages was three pages long. She sat down at the desk and set to work, putting all thoughts of romance or love out of her mind as she scanned the list of important people she had to call. Whether or not Xu had filling in for her, there were a lot of things that needed to be done, things that Xu did not have permission to handle, and they were among many things Quistis would have to work overtime to get done. 

The thing about her job was that the tasks were endless and tended to overlap. Before she finished one, another reared it's head, and soon, she'd be so backed up she would end up taking the work to her rooms so that she wouldn't be accused of working too hard. No one knew how many hours she spent working or how many nights she'd taken the work home, just to get it done in time. Because of this, both Squall and Cid gave her projects they assumed she could handle, when the reality of it was that she was barely able to manage her normal tasks. 

It wasn't that she was an inefficient worker, because she was. Her life and her work were terribly organized, but because she pulled it off and managed to produce results in the allotted amount of time without showing how much effort she put into it, everyone assumed that Quistis was the one to give the most time consuming tasks. 

So, as she sorted through the stacks of paper, arranging them in piles according to priority, she heard Squall calling her from his office. 

What now? What could he possibly want? He knew she was already swamped, so why couldn't he just let her work uninterrupted for one afternoon? Annoyed, she rose from her chair and entered his office. "What is it, Squall?" she asked. 

Squall was visibly irritated about something and he motioned for Quistis to take a seat in the chair by the window. He sat across from her and closed his eyes. "The negotiations for the alliance between Galbadian and Esthar have fallen apart," he said, "and it looks like all out war." 

"What?" Quistis asked, startled. The negotiations seemed to be going so well, even if there was reluctance on both sides to go through with it. "What happened?" 

"The details aren't clear yet, but President Caraway called Laguna personally some time this morning and told him he was no longer in control. Seems some resistance group went into the Presidential Palace, raided the place and set up camp early this morning. They're making demands," Squall said. 

"What kind of demands?" she asked. 

"The usual. Total control, access to everything, including Esthar's secret research tanks." 

"You mean the research tanks that supposedly don't exist?" Quistis said with a knowing smirk. 

"That's right. They want immediate action or else." 

"Or else what?" Quistis asked, though she already knew the answer. 

"Or else they attack." 

"Cute," Quistis said. "So a little resistance faction takes over Galbadia. Are we sending in the elite squad?" 

Squall shook his head and closed his eyes. "Not yet," he replied. "If it were just a small group, it wouldn't be a problem, but it seems Galbadia as a whole is not happy with Caraway as president, and they're willing to fight with these guys." 

"Oh, great," Quistis said. "So it's back to the Vinzer Deling era of dictatorship." 

"Funny you should mention that," Squall said and scratched his chin. "The leader of this resistance group is Deling's daughter, Khamella." 

Quistis rubbed her eyes in frustration. "So what are your orders, Squall?" she asked. 

"For now, find out what you can about the resistance faction, and anything you can find out about Khamella Deling," he said. "Make this your priority for now. Give everything you can to Nida, and let Xu handle the mission assignments. Rinoa will take care of the budget." 

For the first time Squall had actually considered that Quistis might be overbooked, and he'd taken steps towards relieving some of her work load. She was grateful that he'd thought of her, and she was glad that he'd already taken care of it. Perhaps the ordeal with Seifer's trial had given him a wake up call as to how much work she actually did, for Quistis knew he'd had to handle the bulk of her projects while she prepared the defense. "Thanks," she told him. "Anything else?" 

"Not yet, no, but be advised, we may have to go to war." 

"I'll get right on it," Quistis told him and headed back to her office.   
  
  
  
  


Seifer had stayed in Balamb after the train arrived so that he might find a job. He'd lost the one he'd secured just before the trial, and he was actually kind of glad. He wasn't cut out to be a janitor anyhow. He needed something more physical and he needed something that paid well. 

Seifer didn't want to stay at Garden unless he could be a SeeD, and that was out of the question. He was too old to take the test now, and he knew he'd make a lousy instructor, even if Squall had hinted that they were in need of a gunblade specialist to teach the upper classmen. He just couldn't picture himself in a role like that. It wasn't a terribly hard or demanding job, especially considering that there were only five students in the entire Garden who needed training. Seifer, however, was not the sort of man who'd make a good teacher and he knew it. 

So, his goal now was to make something of himself. He wanted to work, he wanted to make a living, the honest way. If he had to bust his ass to do it, he would. What he wanted was a place to call his own, even if it was just an unfurnished one room apartment. At least then he could say he did it on his own. At least then, he'd do it without help. It was nice sharing a room with Quistis, but he didn't want to overstay his welcome, and he didn't want to take and not give back. 

As he waited for the fleet manager of the Balamb Shrimp Company to show up and talk with him, he noticed a familiar pair loading boxes on a boat near by. A large, dark skinned young man lifted box after box as a young woman with silver hair barked orders at him. 

Raijin and Fujin, he presumed. His lips curved into a smile and he strolled over to the slip where the boat was moored. Seeing them was like revisiting his childhood. They had been his possee. The only ones at Garden who'd really known him, the only ones who'd seen him for what he really was. They were the only ones who stuck by him, no matter what, even when he'd been possessed. They'd followed his lead and done everything he'd asked of them and never even thought of questioning his motives. Well, not until much later, that was. But, even when he'd done his worst, they'd still believed in him. 

He wondered, did they still feel the same way? 

"FASTER!" Fujin cried and stomped her foot at Raijin. 

"Fuj, I'm workin' as fast as I can, ya know? I'd like a drink, ya know? I'm thirsty and it's hot out here, and you're makin' me work too hard, ya know?" 

"BABY!" Fujin said and she kicked him in the shin. 

"Owww!" Raijin cried as he clutched his leg. "That hurt, ya know?" 

Seifer leaned against the railing of the pier and grinned. "Some things never change," he said loud enough for the pair to hear. 

Fujin spun around, her hard gray eye full of anger. When she saw Seifer standing there, the anger was replaced by disbelief. "SEIFER." 

"In the flesh," he said and approached his old friends. 

Raijin grinned at him, seemingly at a loss for words. The big man surged forward and threw his arms around Seifer. "Can't believe it's really you," Raijin said as he slapped Seifer roughly on the back and let go. "We heard about the trial from the TV, ya know? We thought they was gonna execute you!" 

"You can't kill an Almasy," Seifer said with a grin. Though it was on the tip of his tongue to mention Quistis' hard work, he held back. He didn't want them to know his feelings for her, for Fujin had always been able to read between the lines. She would know immediately how he felt, and she'd give him a hard time. She'd call him soft. "So what have you guys been up to?" 

"Workin' ya know," Raijin said. "We got an apartment up the road, all to ourselves. We're livin' it up, ya know?" 

"That's good to hear," Seifer said and leaned against the railing of the boat. 

"SEIFER," Fujin said. "SAFE?" 

"I'm standing here, aren't I?" 

Fujin eyed him suspiciously for a moment. "DIFFERENT." 

"Fuj was just sayin' there's something different about you, ya know?" 

Seifer rolled his eyes. "I know what she's saying, Raij. I'm not an idiot." 

"She's right, ya know. There is something different about you. Can't tell what it is, but there's something different, ya know?" 

Seifer cringed. He didn't want his friends to think that he'd changed. He wanted them to think of him as the same badass he'd always been. Except that he wasn't anymore. He'd lost a bit of that hostile edge. He grew up. Never mind that he had a different outlook on life now. How could he express this to them without coming off as a wuss? He stared out at the water for a moment before speaking. "Yeah, well, things change." 

Fujin continued to stare at him with that single anthracite colored eye. "HAPPY," she stated after a moment. 

"Yeah, Fuj, I'm happy." 

She nodded slowly and a faint smile played upon her narrow mouth. "GOOD."   
  
  
  
  


Quistis hadn't been able to come up with anything new or interesting on Khamella Deling, even after spending hours searching public and not so public sources of information. It was all common knowledge. Khamella was the only child of lifelong president Vinzer Deling. She was well educated and had attended the finest schools in the world. She'd received a bachelor in military tactics and the art of war, and a double masters degree in politics and political law at the University of Esthar two years ago. Since then, she'd advanced through the ranks of Galbadia's political society with frightening speed. She'd gained a lot of friends in both the legal and the government circles, and it seemed she was well liked. It even seemed she had no enemies and was considered quite the catch. 

It was no wonder that she'd been able to orchestrate such a take over. She was a very attractive young woman with dark hair and eyes, and a sincere, sweet smile. She looked terribly innocent in the photographs Quistis had found in the files. Likely, she'd charmed her way up the political ladder, appearing a pawn in her innocence. Quistis guessed that no one had been the wiser, for men often mistook beautiful women for fools. Quistis herself had been underestimated countless times just because of her looks. She guessed that this Khamella Deling was a force to be reckoned with, and she couldn't help but admire the girl's fortitude, despite her guerilla tactics. Her coup had been so well planned, so flawlessly executed. It was too bad the girl wasn't on their side. SeeD could use a few brilliant young women like Khamella within it's ranks. 

With a sigh, Quistis sat back and switched off her computer. She was disappointed that she hadn't been able to find anything out of the ordinary. There were no questionable incidents on her record, no arrests, not even a single disciplinary mark on any of her school transcripts. Khamella had been a good girl, a good student and a model citizen, despite being her father's daughter. Vinzer Deling had been a man unafraid of consequences, but it seemed, from her record, Khamella had chosen a different path. Quistis could only assume that one of two things had occurred. 

The first was that Khamella, who'd walked the straight and narrow her entire life, became so enraged at her father's death that she'd plotted and then executed her revenge. Quistis didn't think this was likely, unless Khamella had been planning to take over before her father's death. Khamella was too . . . clean cut to have perpetrated such an event on her own. As angry as she might have been, it seemed unlikely that the need for revenge would have driven her to this extreme. But then, Quistis didn't know her personally, so she could only make generalizations based on the information. 

The second scenario seemed more likely. Perhaps Khamella was acting out a part, under the influence of someone who might have a grudge against President Caraway. Quistis thought that perhaps young Khamella had met a man, and as young women sometimes are, she been easily swayed by his charm and his promises to love her if she went along with his plans. Quistis had seen it a thousand times in her own Garden. Girls doing things they wouldn't normally do because a man suggested he might love her more if she did what he wanted her to do. Quistis herself had once fallen into this trap, having been promised love if she would only sleep with someone. And when she did, she was forgotten almost as soon as he'd put his clothes back on. She could easily see how the pampered daughter of a dictator who'd been sheltered most of her life might be persuaded in this way, for Quistis thought it unlikely that Deling had ever really had time for the girl. 

Quistis pushed her thoughts aside and headed for her rooms, where she planned to go directly to sleep. She was still exhausted from the effort she'd put into Seifer's trial, and she hadn't quite caught up on her rest. 

When she opened the door, she was surprised to find the room lit only by candles and the air smelled of something delicious. She realized as she stepped into the room that she hadn't eaten all day, and the scent of food made her stomach growl in anticipation of a meal. Had Seifer done this? Was it possible that the insensitive bastard she'd grown up with had a hidden romantic streak? She smiled and closed the door behind her. "Seifer?" she called as she kicked off her heels. "Where are you?" 

Seifer poked his head out of the kitchen and smiled. "Hungry?" 

"Starved," she admitted and she dropped her keys onto the table. "What is all this?" 

"My way of saying thanks," he replied. "And, we're celebrating." 

"Celebrating?" she asked, curious. 

"I got a job. Pays well, good benefits." 

"What will you be doing?" 

"Shrimping," he told her. 

Quistis smiled at this. She could picture him, shirtless on the deck of a boat, doing just that. "Congratulations." 

There was a knock at the door, and Quistis gave a heavy sigh. She didn't want anyone to interrupt this. Seifer being nice was something she might not see again for a long time, and she was reluctant to answer the door. Still, she got to her feet and went to the door. 

She opened it just a little after the second knock and saw Rinoa standing there looking frazzled. "Quisty, I need your help!" she cried. "I was going over the fabric swatches for the bridesmaid gowns . . ." Rinoa paused as her eyes focused on the interior of the room and she pressed her knuckles to her mouth. "Oh . . ." 

"Can we look over them tomorrow?" Quistis asked and she felt her cheeks grow warm. She knew Rinoa had seen the candles, and she knew the girl was now assuming things. Bad things. 

Rinoa giggled. "Oh, Quisty, I'm sorry. I didn't know!" 

"It's not what you think," Quistis countered in a whisper, embarrassed. 

"Unhunh. Sure, Quisty," Rinoa tittered and winked. "I'll leave you two alone. Sorry to interrupt." 

Mortified, Quistis closed the door and leaned her forehead against it. She knew word would be all over Garden in the morning. Rinoa would tell everyone that Quistis and Seifer _did it. _By late afternoon, there was no telling what kind of tales would be strung together. Probably, the students would be passing rumors that Quistis was carrying Seifer's love child and that the two had eloped to Centra to be married. 

Quistis was torn between wanting him and running from him. She already knew well how he felt about her, and she'd already recognized that she returned his feelings. But it seemed crazy, scary and downright wrong. Seifer was so not the man for her, but Hyne, what a man he was. Her attraction to him was more intense than anything she'd felt before, and as hard as she tried to deny it, she couldn't. Just being in the same room with him made her feel swoony. 

But perhaps that was just a combination of the candle light and her weariness. 

"Something wrong?" Seifer asked behind her. 

Quistis turned around and closed her eyes. "No, nothing's wrong." 

"Who was at the door?" 

"Just Rinoa." 

Seifer chuckled and handed her a glass of wine. "I bet she assumed . . ." 

"She did indeed," Quistis said as she accepted the wine, and she felt her cheeks flush once more. "Who could blame her Seifer? It does look like a love den in here." 

Was that what this was? A seduction? The candles, dinner, wine? Was Seifer trying to bed her? She sipped her wine and headed for the couch, afraid it was exactly that. Quistis, who had always longed to be loved, was now scared witless when the real thing looked her in the eye. If he kissed her now, what would she do? Would she scream? Run for her room? It had been easy to deny her feelings when there wasn't time for it, but now, it seemed there was all the time in the world, and now that he was a free man, she wasn't so sure she could stop herself before she did something she regretted. 

"Quis, what's wrong?" Seifer asked as he took a seat beside her. 

"It's been a long day, that's all," she replied and took another sip of the wine. It was sweet and fruity. The kind she preferred. A few glasses of this would have her passed out on the couch and she knew it. After a moment, she downed the rest of it and decided that was exactly what she'd do.   
  
  
  


After Seifer cleared and washed the dishes, he found Quistis sound asleep on the couch. She'd had four glasses of wine during dinner, and Seifer hadn't thought about the possibility it would make her sleepy. He'd hoped that a nice dinner, and a romantic setting might relax her, but he'd been wrong. She'd been tense ever since Rinoa came to the door, and he wondered if maybe Quistis was embarrassed by him. If that was the case, what was the point? Why should he try so hard if she wasn't interested? 

But what about her admission to Squall that she loved him? If she didn't care, why did she try so hard to free him? It didn't make any sense to him that she would say it, but then when given the chance she ran like a scared little girl. He didn't think she was afraid of him. She'd been the only one who _hadn't_ been afraid when he returned to Balamb. 

But that look in her eye when he'd reached out to touch her hair. That look of panic. He didn't understand the fear or conflict in her eyes. Was she worried that he'd hurt her? It seemed so, from the way she flinched when his fingers touched the skin of her cheek. 

He sighed and blew out the candles one by one. So much for a romantic evening.   
  
  


In the morning, Quistis entered her office with a pounding headache. There was something about wine that always made her feel terrible the next morning, even if she'd only had a couple of glasses. She felt like calling in sick, but there was work to be done, despite her throbbing head. 

Squall was sitting at her desk, reviewing her notes on Khamella Deling when she entered. He looked up and flashed her a rare grin. 

"What?" she growled. 

"I heard someone finally got some last night," Squall replied, that same grin on his face. Quistis decided she didn't like it when Squall smiled. He looked . . . strange. Maybe it was because she was in a bad mood, or maybe just because she wasn't accustomed to seeing it, but she hoped he'd keep the grinning to a minimum in the future. It was too creepy to deal with on a daily basis. 

"For your information, _nothing_ happened, so whatever Rinoa may have told you is wrong," she said. 

Squall's expression became serious. "What happened?" 

"Why do I have to explain to _you_ of all people?" 

Squall stood and threw both hands up, signifying his surrender. "Whatever." 

"And tell Rinoa to keep her mouth shut!" Quistis called after him as he fled from her office. She set to work, and tried her best to push all thoughts of Seifer from her mind. She succeeded for a while, but then she caught herself staring blankly at the computer screen, wondering why she was afraid of her own feelings. 

Just before lunch, Irvine poked his head in the door. "Hey there, pretty lady," he drawled. "Mind if I come in?" 

"As long as you don't want to talk about Seifer," she replied without looking away from her work. 

"Actually . . ." 

"Oh, hell," she muttered and closed her eyes. "Fine. Come in." 

Irvine strolled in slowly and took a seat before her desk. "Rinoa said . . ." 

"Nothing happened." 

He reached forward and patted her hand. "Don't worry. Squall's doing damage control as we speak." 

Quistis groaned and dropped her head onto her desk. Why did anyone care? Why was it such a big deal to them what she did behind closed doors anyhow? "Does damage control involve a roll of duct tape?" 

Irvine chuckled. "More or less. So what's the deal?" 

"There is no deal." 

"You care about him. He cares about you. What more do you want, Quistis?" 

How could Quistis tell him of her reservations? How could she begin to explain the doubts and the conflict in her mind about starting a relationship with Seifer? It was all so complicated and scary. She didn't want to give him her heart only to have him break it. That would be too hard to deal with when it happened. "I don't know what I want. I don't know what he wants," she told Irvine. 

"So ask him." 

"It's not that easy," she replied. Well, perhaps it would be easy to ask him, but Quistis didn't know what it was that she wanted for herself. Knowing that he wanted her would not make the situation any easier to deal with. 

"Before, you wanted nothing else. Now you're not sure?" Irvine asked. He rubbed his chin for a moment. "Quistis, what are you afraid of?" 

Quistis stared blankly at her computer screen. "I'm afraid of me."   
  
  
  
  


Quistis had planned to eat in her office in favor of the cafeteria, so she might avoid any questions from her friends, however, she realized that she'd left her lunch in the refrigerator. She cursed herself as she hurried to her rooms, praying that she wouldn't see anyone she knew. She made it to her room without incident, retrieved her meal and locked her door behind her. 

She wasn't safe from incident, however. As she rounded the corner near the elevator, she collided with someone and was sent reeling. Her container of salad went flying and spilled across the floor. "Damn it!" Quistis cried as she pulled herself to her feet and spun to glare at the person who'd caused this disaster. When she faced him, however, all the anger drained away and she covered her mouth to repress a smile. 

On the floor before her, covered in bits of salad was the most handsome man Quistis had ever laid eyes on. He grinned up at her and wiped the lettuce from his hair. "I could use a hand," he said and sat up. 

"I'm so sorry," she apologized and offered her hand. Once he was on his feet, she found she had to look up at him to see his face. 

"I'm the one who should be sorry," he said and brushed away the remainder of her lunch. "I'm Dievol Demeter, and you would be?" 

"Quistis Trepe," she replied. She found herself unable to tear her eyes away from his, and that made her heart pound in her chest like a hammer. 

Dievol groaned and pressed his hand to his face. "Great. My first day here and I assault the assistant commander." 

"I won't hold it against you," she replied. 

"Good," he replied, appearing relieved. "Seeing as I ruined your lunch, maybe I can make it up to you? My treat." 

Quistis remembered her reasons for wanting to eat alone and she hesitated a moment before answering. She decided it was in her best interest to accept his offer. Perhaps it might ward off any further rumor spreading, or at least take the rumors in a different direction. "That sounds nice." 

"Really? I mean, great," he said and he shuffled his feet. "I just transferred here from Galbadia Garden, and I don't know anyone. It's kind of scary to eat alone, you know?" 

Quistis nodded. She knew what it was like to eat all by herself. Before the Second Sorceress War, before she and her friends had saved the world from Ultimecia, Quistis had spent nearly every lunch period alone. Whether she was grading papers in her class room or sitting in the cafeteria at a table meant for two, Quistis had never been invited to enjoy her lunch with anyone else until then. She smiled a little as she tried to decide whether she would introduce him to her crowd or if she'd be selfish and keep him all to herself. 

In the end, she decided that she'd like to get to know him privately rather than deal with Rinoa and Selphie chiding her about Seifer. She wasn't in the mood for it today, nor was she in the mood to discuss fabric swatches for bridesmaid gowns that would look hideous, no matter what color they were. 

"You're too old to be a student," Quistis said as they took a seat near the back, she with a salad and he with a plate of hot dogs. "Are you an instructor?" 

Dievol nodded. "Quarter Staff." 

"Thank Hyne. We've been looking for someone qualified for that position for months."   
  
Quistis spent her entire lunch break with him discussing Garden politics, the Ultimecia Affair, time compression and Seifer's trial. She found him easy to talk to, though he was a bit dull, but perhaps he was just nervous. As the ate, she noticed the looks she was receiving from her friends, who sat on the other side of the cafeteria. Even Squall had turned his head a few times to peer over his shoulder at her. Rinoa and Selphie openly stared at her, whispering back and forth like a couple of school girls.   
  
When her break was over, for the first time, Quistis wished that her lunch was longer. As they parted ways, they made arrangements to meet for drinks later that evening at the pub in Balamb, and she spent the afternoon deciding what she would wear as she made a half hearted attempt at research.   
  
  


"Seifer, have you seen Quistis?" Rinoa asked as Seifer unlocked the door to Quistis' rooms. He'd spent all day loading and unloading crates at the docks, and he was exhausted. It had been a while since he'd worked that hard, but he'd enjoyed it. He'd especially enjoyed having Fujin and Raijin to keep him company, and he looked forward to returning in the morning. 

"Rinoa, I just got in. Does it look like I've seen her?" 

Rinoa scowled at him. "Well, if you see her, tell her I need to discuss the wedding plans with her." 

"I'll put it at the top of my list of important things to do," he said, not even bothering to hide his sarcasm and opened the door. 

Once inside, he dropped his keys on the coffee table and went to the bathroom door, but found it locked. After a moment of hesitation, he knocked. "Quis? You in there?" 

"Yeah," her voice called back and he heard a splash of water as if she were in the bath. A very enticing thought. Seifer smiled and shook his head. "I'll be out in a few minutes." 

A few minutes turned out to be a half an hour, and when she emerged, she was fluffed, buffed and polished as he'd never seen her before. Her nails were freshly painted, her hair styled in soft waves and she wore a bit of make-up. Never mind the dress. It was a skimpy black little number with thin straps, a low neck line and scandalous hem. His breath was taken away as he gaped at her. He'd never seen her look quite so alluring, and if he'd wanted her badly before, he was mad for her now. "Quis, you look . . . hot." 

Quistis ignored his comment. "I'll be out late," Quistis said as she slipped on a pair of strappy heels and grabbed her purse. "Don't wait up." 

"Where are you going?" 

"I've got a date, if you must know," she said without looking at him. 

Seifer was instantly jealous. "With who?" he demanded. 

Quistis turned to look at him, unsmiling. "That's none of your business." 

"I think it is." 

"Seifer Almasy, you have no claim on me. I can go out with whomever I choose without getting your approval first." 

Seifer was hurt, but he tried not to show it. "That's fine by me. If you want to go out dressed like _that_, be my guest." 

"You just said I looked hot." 

"Don't do yourself any favors, Trepe. You couldn't look hot if you tried," he lied. "I'm sure your date will get the message, though." 

Quistis glared at him, shook her head and turned for the door without responding to his implied pot-shot at her virtue. Seifer immediately regretted letting his mouth run unchecked. He hadn't meant a word of it. He was rather frustrated with her for leading him on, then giving him he cold shoulder. 

And whoever this other guy might be, Seifer didn't care. He already knew he didn't like him because he was now the competition for Quistis' affections. Seifer didn't know why it mattered so much to him that Quistis return his feelings. He'd never cared before, but he couldn't change the fact that he _did_ have feelings for her. 

"Quis," he said in defeat as she turned the knob, but she didn't bother to look back at him as she walked out the door.   
  
  
  
  
  
  


========   
Notes   
======== 

So, here it is. The long awaited chapter. This was difficult to write, and I apologize if Quistis flipped too quickly or without proper explanation. If you've read the notes at the end of the last chapter, you'll understand why I had a hard time with it. But just so you know, I'm doing fine, I'm moving on and taking my life back into my own hands. It's hard, and I don't know where I'll end up, but as long as I'm free, it doesn't matter, I guess. Unfortunately, my writing was the first casualty of this situation, and for several weeks now, I've had difficulty even sitting down and writing anything worth a second look. Again, I apologize if this isn't the quality you're used to. But, I'm back, I think......and don't worry....it's still a romance 

I will try to post more often, and I plan to put up a couple of chapters for Broken Wings tonight, just so that's out of the way. Also, if you're reading Oceans Apart, be patient. I'm doing the final edit for the next chapter and it'll be up soon. 

hang on a sec..... 

9:50PM, est   
Wow. Looks like we're at war. My thoughts are with my father tonight, who is on a USAF base in Turkey, and somehow my domestic problems don't seem so big in the grand scheme of things. If you have anyone involved in this, my thoughts are with you too. 

Peace. 

Sara 


	9. Don't Hold Back

**TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW**

_Prequel to The Devil's Playground_

_"Get your lust_

_the rich man's gold_

_all that you need_

_is in your soul . . ."_

_~_Lynyrd Skynyrd_, Simple Man_

_"There's so much I need to say to you_

_so many reasons why_

_you're the only one_

_who really knew me at all . . ."_

_~_Phil Collins_, Against All Odds_

**_Chapter 9_**

_Don't Hold Back_

Late on the Saturday afternoon before the wedding, Quistis stood upon a chair in Balamb's only dress shop, clad in a pale blue frock that would serve as her bridesmaid gown. The wedding was in less than a week, and Rinoa had finally decided on the gowns. As she stood there, letting the seamstress pin the hem in place, she realized that this would be the third time she'd been someone's bridesmaid. Was it true what they said? Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride? She suddenly felt depressed at the thought that she might never marry. She tried to rationalize the thought away as nonsense, and she tried to tell herself that she didn't believe in superstitions. But, what if it was true? 

"So, Quisty, you're bringing Dievol to the wedding?" Rinoa asked as she smoothed the fabric of her wedding gown with affection. 

Quistis nodded. She'd been seeing Dievol regularly for the last month, and though she liked him well enough, she found him a bit boring, a tad insecure but on the whole, he was still quite attractive though. Attraction aside, there was little chemistry between them, but Quistis conveniently ignored this fact so that she had an excuse to avoid her very real attraction to Seifer. Besides, Dievol didn't seem to notice the lack of chemistry between them, but, at the same time he hadn't yet tried to act on whatever attraction he might have to her. 

Seifer had not taken her sudden attention to Dievol lightly. Since that first date, he'd done nothing but snap at her, make nasty comments about her virtue and in general, make her life miserable. She might have been able to blow it off except that Seifer and Irvine had become quite friendly with one another, and now Irvine was after her with questions she preferred not to answer. To put it more accurately, he asked questions she didn't know _how_ to answer. 

"He's really cute," Rinoa remarked. "If I were single, you'd have some competition." 

"But you're not, and I don't," Quistis replied with a weak smile. 

"Who's Seifer inviting?" 

"Probably his underlings, if he plans to come at all." 

Rinoa chuckled and covered her mouth with her hand. "Can you picture Fujin in a bridesmaid gown?" 

Quistis tipped her head to the side and tried to imagine it. "That would not be a pretty sight." 

Quistis herself didn't feel like she'd make such a pretty sight in sky blue satin either, but she held her tongue. Sapphire would have suited her complexion better, but Rinoa wanted the shade closest to the heavens that she could find, and as it was her wedding, Quistis had little to no say in the matter. Not that she cared that much anyway. Her mind was wrapped around three things: the first two being the men in her life, and the third was the situation in Galbadia. 

Regarding Galbadia, there had not been much development in regard to the threats made against Esthar. So far, no action had been taken against Esthar, and even the threats had stopped. It seemed perhaps those responsible had seen the futility of their demands and had stopped making them. Quistis had made little headway in her research due to a lack of existing and tangible information. All she had was conjecture, probable scenarios and a generic history of a girl named Khamella Deling. Quistis wanted badly to find out more, but there was no more to learn until Khamella began to communicate with Esthar again. If she ever did. Quistis could only hope the situation would resolve itself without violence, but nothing had ever been that easy.   
  
  
  


Seifer wiped his brow and sat down upon the deck of the boat beside Raijin. Seifer was hot, tired and he could feel the sun beginning to burn his nose and shoulders. He grabbed a bottle of water, but instead of drinking it, he dumped it over his head to cool off. 

Raijin did the same and groaned happily as he leaned back against the side of the boat. "This is the life, ya know?" 

Seifer closed his eyes and sighed. "Yep," he replied. "Now if I could just get my own place, I'd be set." 

"You don't wanna live with Quistis no more?" 

"Nah," Seifer replied. "I've over stayed my welcome, if you know what I mean." 

This was pretty close to the truth. Of late, he and Quistis did nothing but argue, and it was really getting to him. He'd seen her with that guy, Dievol and this was usually the cause of their discontent. Last night, he'd seen the two of them in the Quad together, hand in hand, and he'd felt such jealousy, he'd gone to the training center to vent his anger upon something. He still couldn't explain why he felt the way he did, considering that her feelings for him were all but dead. This alone was enough to make him want to run, but at present, he still didn't have quite enough cash to move into his own place. One more payday, however, would see him through and he would be able to afford an apartment near the harbor. 

And it wasn't as if he'd been sitting idle while Quistis made a fool of herself with that idiot. No, Seifer wasted no time when it came to satisfying his physical needs. The week after Quistis' first date with Dievol, Seifer had picked up a tall, cool, red head at the local pub, gone to her apartment and spent the night with her. Still, he cared nothing for her. Tawny was interesting enough in bed, but out of it, he didn't find her quite so interesting. And Tawny didn't seem to mind much. At least he had a date for Squall's wedding, and he'd be sure to let Quistis see them together, just so she knew that he didn't need her. 

Except, this wasn't the truth. He needed her as much as he needed air and food. He couldn't explain it, and it didn't make any sense at all to be so enamored of her when there was nothing between them. 

"You going to the wedding?" Raijin asked. "Squall invited us, ya know." 

"Hell yeah, I'm going," Seifer said. "Far be it from me to pass up a party." 

"You think there'll be girls there?" 

"IDIOT." Fujin said and slapped Raijin upside the head. 

"Do ya have to hit me so hard, Fuj? I got feelings, ya know?." 

"WIMP." 

Seifer chuckled and thought about how good Tawny would look dressed up for the occasion. Whether or not she was interesting, at least he could imagine the things he could do to her after the party and of the things she'd do to him. Maybe she'd wear a skimpy black dress and heels. Now _that_ would be interesting indeed.   
  
  


The eve of the wedding, Rinoa and all her friends gathered in the SeeD lounge to celebrate her last night as a free woman. Selphie had taken great pains to make the evening special and full of wicked fun. Quistis didn't feel much like participating, but she didn't have much of a choice. At the slightest hint of protest, Selphie would begin to scream at her about being there for her friends and Quistis would reluctantly agree, if only to get her friend to shut up. 

"Are you ladies ready for some fun?" Selphie asked as she held up a bottle of vodka and grinned at the women. 

"Bring it on, baby!" Rinoa, who'd apparently been drinking all afternoon, cried. "Where's the entertainment? I want to see some skin!" 

Despite herself, Quistis chuckled and poured herself a glass of Reagan from the tap. She looked up as the door opened, prepared to case away any party crashers and was surprised to see Fujin standing in the doorway looking mildly uncomfortable in a stoic kind of way. 

"What's she doing here?" Xu asked in Quistis' ear. "I figured she'd go to the bachelor party." 

Quistis gave Xu a look of disbelief and straightened her posture. 

"Hey, I've heard rumors about her, um, tendencies. I just assumed . . ." 

"Fuj, come in!" Selphie cried. "Want something to drink?" 

Fujin glared at Selphie and barked, "WHISKEY. ROCKS." 

It was all downhill from there. As the evening wore on, the women became more and more intoxicated as the volume of the music and voices increased. Quistis found herself having a great time, despite her initial reluctance. She couldn't help but notice how out of place Fujin looked, however, and she felt bad for her. No one was speaking to her, and she sat in the corner, sipping her drink in silence. Quistis decided that she'd take the first step and be friendly. "Hi Fujin," she said as she took a seat beside the gray haired woman. "Having a good time?" 

"DRUNK." 

"You are, or you want to be?" 

"BOTH." 

Quistis laughed and looked the woman over. Fujin was not what anyone would call pretty, but on second look, she was attractive in a handsome sort of way. However, most people only noticed the gray hair and the eye patch and the strange barking way she talked. That was usually enough to make people fear her. Quistis wanted to try and draw her out a little, but she didn't get the chance. 

"Ladies, the entertainment has arrived," Selphie called as she opened the door to reveal a young man dressed as a cowboy. His had was pulled low over his face and a red bandana across his nose so his face was hidden. The women in the room began to scream and whistle as the man gyrated his hips to the music. 

Rinoa surged forward and ripped the man's hat off his head, "Don't hide your face, cutie pie. We don't bite." 

"It'd be kinkier if you did," the man said, pulled the bandana down and grinned at Rinoa. Quistis had to crane her head to see him over the crowd that had gathered at the door. 

"Irvine Kinneas!" Rinoa cried indignantly and threw the hat back at him. "OUT!" 

"Aww, come on. The bachelor party's a drag," Irvine drawled as he wrapped his arms around a beaming Selphie, "and you ladies are far prettier than the stripper Zell got for Squall." 

"There's a stripper at the bachelor party?" Rinoa gasped and put her hands on her hips. "Squall promised!" 

"Um, Rinoa, there's supposed to be a stripper at our party," Quistis reminded her. "It's only fair." 

"Yeah, but he promised!" 

"Hey, what about me?" Irvine asked. 

"OUT!" Quistis and Rinoa said in unison. 

"I love you, Irvy poo, but you've got to go, ugly stripper or not," Selphie said as she pushed him back to the door. 

It took a few minutes to calm Rinoa down once Irvine had left. By that time, the real entertainment arrived and Squall's slight was forgotten. Rather than participate, Quistis headed for the keg and refilled her drink. She preferred not to take part, for it would embarrass her more than anything, drunk or not. 

A cry of anger alerted her to trouble, and she looked towards the melee, to see the young dancer had Fujin cornered, and Fujin was not happy. 

"RAGE!" she cried. 

Quistis could only laugh as Fujin kicked the young man in the shin.   
  
  


The next morning, Quistis woke up with a wicked hang over. She sat up in the bed, clutched her head and groaned as she heard the PA system crackle and summon her to the commander's office. From the tone of Squall's voice, Quistis guessed he too had a rough night. 

Though she would have loved a cup of coffee at that moment, instead she dressed quickly in jeans and a T-shirt and headed up to Squall's office. She wondered what he could possibly want that was important enough for him to be in his office after a night of heavy drinking and stuffing dollar bills down a stripper's cleavage. 

She entered Squall's office and went straight to the coffee pot, not caring that the mug she picked up was dirty. She filled the mug and then took a seat at his desk. "What's the big deal?" she asked with a yawn. 

"Khamella Deling is making demands," Squall said. Quistis noticed he was pale, and she knew her old friend had spent at least a small portion of his night hugging the toilet. She took a little comfort in this, considering she had woken in front of the toilet some time after the party had broken up, her stomach empty but still quite drunk. 

"What?" Quistis asked. "What kind of demands?" 

"The same as before, but this time she's threatening to mount an attack in a week's time if her demands aren't met." 

"Can we negotiate with her?" Quistis would hate for the situation to escalate into full on war. Both sides had the potential to obliterate the other, it was just a matter of who struck first. 

"I don't know. I've got Nida trying to get a direct line to the Presidential Mansion as we speak, but it's not looking good." 

Quistis groaned. In a week's time, Squall would still be on his honeymoon, unless he put it aside until the situation had resolved itself. If not, that meant Quistis was going to handle the situation in his absence. "You have a plan?" she asked and sipped her coffee. 

"For now, we'll try to negotiate. I want you on that if we're able to get through." 

She nodded. "Do you think there's any hope for negotiation?" 

"Again, I don't know. We don't know what she's capable of, or how far she's willing to go," he said and rubbed his chin. "Laguna has asked us to wait it out until we can determine what this is really about." 

"So he's hiring SeeD, then." 

Squall nodded and eyed her for a long moment. It made Quistis squirm to be scrutinized that way. "Looks like you had a hard night." 

"I could say the same about you." 

Squall flashed a weak smile. "Care to share details?" 

"Not on your life, my friend," she replied with a chuckle. Rinoa had made her swear never to breathe a word of it to anyone but those who were there. Despite the hangover, Quistis had the time of her life, though it made her sad to think that she was the last bachelorette, that after that night, she would be the only one to sleep alone. 

"I'll call you if Nida gets through," Squall said and covered a yawn with his hand. "Keep your ears open." 

Though it was still early, Quistis decided she should go wake Selphie up so that they could get a jump on the decorations. She wanted to get that task out of the way as soon as possible so that she'd have time later to speak with Khamella Deling if Nida did indeed work a miracle. She pounded on Selphie's door until the sleepy eyed girl opened it. "What the hell do you want?!" Selphie cried as the door swung open. 

"Get dressed. We've got work to do." 

"Nooooo . . ." Selphie groaned and leaned against the door frame. "You can't make me." 

"This is a direct order from your superior," Quistis said with a grin. "Get dressed. I'll make coffee."   
  
  


Around noon, as Quistis tacked up the last banner in the ball room, Squall's voice came over the PA system. It sounded as if he'd gained his bearing and his voice was clear and commanding. Quistis looked down at Selphie, who was busy tying balloons to the altar and sighed. "I'll be right back, Selph. Duty calls." 

"Whatever it is, tell Squall it can wait. We have to start getting ready soon, you know," Selphie said and put her hands on her tiny hips. 

"It can't wait," Quistis said as she climbed down from the ladder. "Don't worry. I'll have time to get ready." 

She hurried to the elevator, taking it to the third floor. In Squall's office she took a seat behind the desk at Squall's insistence. "She's on line two." 

"Any requests? Suggestions?" 

"Just try to talk her out of it. Offer a deal if you have to," he said. "I've got to go pick up my tux, but I'll be back. You can update me then." 

"Oh, thanks a lot commander." 

"Sorry. It has to be done," he said and left her alone in the office. 

She picked up the phone. "Khamella, this is Lt. Commander Quistis Trepe. I've been looking forward to talking with you," she said, hoping that if she played at being friendly it might help her in the long run. 

"Have you now?" came a feathery voice from the other end of the line. "Tell me, Commander. What is it that you want?" 

Quistis cleared her throat. "I want to understand your demands. I want to understand your reasons for doing this." 

Khamella laughed. "Commander Trepe, if you've done your homework, you know that I won't be fooled by negotiation tactics. Have you done your job, commander?" 

"Indeed I have. I know much about you," Quistis said and she began to speak in a soft voice she usually reserved for her friends when they were hurting, "Negotiation tactics aside, I'd still like to understand, Khamella. Would you explain what it is that you want? I can't help you if I don't understand, you know, and we _would_ like to work this out in a peaceful manner." 

"What if I said I'm not interested in peace?" 

"What are you interested in? What can we do to resolve this?" 

"All you have to do, Commander, is stay the hell out of it." 

Quistis saw that this was getting her nowhere, so she decided to try another tactic. "Does he love you?" she asked softly. 

"What?" came the startled reply. 

"Does he love you?" Quistis asked again. "You'd better be sure of his affections before you go rushing into this. Men will say anything to get you to do what they want you to do. Are you sure that he'll be there for you after this is over and done with?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Khamella said defensively. "You're crazy." 

"It's not so crazy, Khamella. How many men along the way have told you they loved you so that you'd go to bed with them? How many of the were still there in the morning? Don't you see he's got you fooled? You can still get out of this, but you have to let us help you." 

"No. You don't know anything!" the girl screamed in her ear. "You don't know him, and you don't know me!" 

Quistis had rattled her, and she knew from Khamella's reaction that her second assumption was right on target. "Khamella, calm down. I'm not accusing him of anything, I just want you to think. You're a bright girl, and I'm sure you can see when someone is using you. I just want you to be sure, ok?" 

"He's not using me," Khamella insisted. 

"All right, then," Quistis said. "Work with me. Tell me what it is you want."   
  
  


Seifer Almasy checked his appearance in the bathroom mirror and straightened the jacket of his suit. He didn't particularly care how he looked, but he didn't want to look like an idiot, either. With a sigh, he turned away from the mirror and left the bathroom, wondering where Quistis was. The wedding was in an hour and she hadn't even put her dress on. It still hung on the back of the bathroom door wrapped in plastic He figured she'd spend all day getting ready, as Rinoa had apparently been. 

There was a knock on the door and he called out a greeting. Squall poked his head in the door. "Hey," he mumbled. 

"What's up?" Seifer asked. 

"Quistis sent me down for her dress," Squall said and rubbed his eyes. 

"Something wrong?" 

"The usual," Squall replied. 

"Been working all day?" 

"Yeah." 

Seifer realized Quistis must have been working all day, too, and he felt a bit of sympathy for her. He guessed whatever was going on was big, judging by Squall's expression. Then again, it might have been the fact that Squall was about to tie the knot. It was a big step. One that Seifer himself decided was a bridge he would never cross. "The dress is in the bathroom," he told Squall. 

Squall entered the bathroom and returned a second later with the dress clutched in his hands. He let out a frustrated sigh and groaned. 

"Something wrong?" 

"Just frustrated," Squall replied. 

"Nervous?" 

"Not really." 

"Yeah, I didn't figure you would be," Seifer said. "You never were one to go astray. From anything." 

Squall smiled faintly. "I'll take that as a compliment." 

"Take it how you want," Seifer said with a shrug and picked up his tie from the back of the couch. "Better you than me."   
  
  
  


Quistis hurried down to the dressing room clutching the gown and silently cursing Khamella Deling for even existing. There had been no reasoning with the girl, try as she might. Not only did she refuse to back down, she also refused to explain her reasons for wanting control. Perhaps she was just like her father. If memory served her correctly, Quistis recalled the days when Vinzer Deling had ruled Galbadia, and he had been less than stable. Khamella seemed to have inherited that quality from her father, and that worried Quistis. 

But, there was no time to ponder the Deling legacy. Quistis had to get ready, and the wedding was to start in less than twenty minutes. 

She wasn't prepared for the state Rinoa was in when she entered the dressing room. Rinoa was busy wiping away streaks of black from her cheeks. It might have been funny in different circumstances, but it would be insensitive to laugh at Rinoa when there were tears running down her cheeks. "Selphie, you put too much on!" she cried. "Now I look like a demented clown." 

"I'm sorry!" Selphie cried. "It was supposed to be smudge proof mascara!" 

"Relax," Quistis said and tossed her make up bag to Selphie. "There's some remover in there that should take it right off. You'll be beautiful again in no time." 

"Rinoa, please stop crying," Selphie pleaded as she applied make up remover to a cotton ball. "You're making it worse." 

"Quisty, you're not even ready!" Rinoa cried as she turned her panicked eyes towards Quistis. 

"Don't worry," Quistis reassured her. "It'll only take a minute. Besides, Squall will wait." 

Rinoa smiled a bit wistfully and then glanced back into the mirror and let out a strangled cry of frustration. "Selphie, do something!"   
  
  


The wedding went off without a hitch. Selphie had worked her magic and Rinoa looked beautiful as she walked down the aisle. Quistis couldn't help but be jealous of the way Squall looked at Rinoa as she approached. Though his smile was restrained, his eyes said everything. There was no denying how much he really loved her, and Quistis hated that no one felt that way about her. It made her feel more lonely than she had in months. 

It was Squall's vows that had been the clincher. For someone so reserved and emotionally restrained, he'd managed to find the perfect words to express his commitment to Rinoa, and Quistis had a hard time maintaining her composure as she listened. Tears welled up in her eyes and she felt like running to her room so she could sob behind a safely locked door. Instead, she put on a false smile and pretended that she was having a great time at the reception. Still, as she made her rounds, with Dievol on her arm, she couldn't help but wish those words had been spoken to her. 

_"You are more than just my wife. You are also my friend and the one that has given me hope when I had none. From this point forward, you are my partner, and I promise that I'll always be there for you, no matter what, for the rest of my life."_

It didn't help that Seifer had come with a tall, leggy red-head that couldn't seem to keep her paws off of him. Seifer seemed to be enjoying the attention to no end, and he responded to her in a way that made Quistis feel ill. Pangs of jealousy coursed through her veins each time she saw them. And she didn't understand why it mattered so much, anyway. She had Dievol, who was smart and good looking, and already considered quite the catch at Garden. But she had to wonder, why wasn't that enough? 

"Can I get you another drink, Quistis?" Dievol asked. 

"Please," she said as her eyes moved to where Seifer sat with his hand boldly up the red-head's skirt. The red head giggled and playfully slapped his hand away. 

In that moment she decided that she would put the moves on Dievol. It couldn't hurt. Besides, Irvine had told her that Seifer wanted a challenge, and Quistis was determined to give him one.   
  
  
  


The party was getting boring. Seifer had his fill of champagne, and so had his date, who was busy trying to unbutton his shirt and couldn't seem to manage to get the buttons undone. "Let's get out of here," he told her as he got to his feet. 

"Ooh, are you going to show me where you live?"   
"My room mate wouldn't approve. Let's go to your place," he said as he glanced around, looking for Quistis. She didn't seem to be anywhere in the room, and that moron, Dievol was gone too. "Hold up, Tawny," he said. "I'll be right back." 

"Where are you going?" she whined. 

"I said I'll be right back." 

Seifer didn't know why he felt the need to go after Quistis. It wasn't like she was interested in him anymore, but he couldn't help but feel panicked to know that she was alone with the moron. He hurried up to her room trying not to picture what might or might not be going on in that room. He didn't want to think about Quistis being with someone else, he wanted her all to himself. 

Seifer slipped his key into Quistis' door, and his heart jumped involuntarily as he turned the knob. He hoped she'd be on the other side, despite all the recent animosity between them. In the last two weeks, he'd been unable to get her off of his mind, try as he might. He thought of her first thing in the morning, and she was his last thought as he fell into sleep. It was pathetic, he knew, and it was totally unlike him to be so taken with her. The Seifer of old would have blown her off after the argument and found someone else to entertain him. He'd never had trouble with women. They loved his confidence and strength, not to mention his good looks. No, women had never been a problem for Seifer. Except Quistis. He didn't know what it was about her that he found so alluring, and he constantly chided himself about going soft. 

Of course there was Tawny, but he didn't care about her, nor did she about him. 

The sudden feeling of excitement at seeing Quistis was a bit of a surprise, considering he'd sworn he didn't want to see her anymore, despite his constant thoughts of her. It was just easier not to see her, he thought. But now, he wanted to see her. He wanted things to be good between them, and perhaps he might apologize, offer to take her out some time, even if Dievol was in the picture. 

He pushed the door open and sucked in a slow breath as he looked inside. There on the couch, Quistis lay with her arms around Dievol the pansy. Dievol's hands were tangled in her hair and their lips were locked together like two teenagers in the back of a station wagon. Their shirts were off, though Quistis still wore a lacy black bra, and Seifer felt a powerful surge of jealousy wash over him as he stood fixed in the doorway. 

He couldn't explain the rage he felt as he strode forward, grabbed Dievol by the waistband of his pants and hauled him to his feet. 

"Hey!" Dievol squawked as Seifer shoved him back into the wall. 

"Seifer, what the hell are you doing?" Quistis cried. "Stop it!" 

"Just came by to pick up some stuff," he said as he released Dievol. 

"Then get it and get out," she said, unaware that she was standing there wearing only the bra and a short skirt. 

"Quistis, I, uh, I'd b-better go," Dievol stammered. 

"You don't have to," Quistis said. "I want you to stay. Seifer will be gone in a minute." 

Seifer scowled as he glared at Dievol, hating the fact that this little wimp had gotten farther with her than he had. "I didn't realize you had a little love fest going on in here. I apologize for interrupting." 

"Shut up, Seifer," Quistis said. 

Dievol grabbed his shirt from the back of the couch and slipped it on. "I'll give you a call tomorrow, Quistis." 

"Don't go," Quistis pleaded. 

The man gave Seifer one last nervous glance and shook his head. "I think it's best," he said and then he left without looking back. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Quistis cried as she she moved towards him, her hand raised to strike. 

Seifer caught her wrist before she could make contact, and he held it tight in his own hand, turned on by her anger. "What the hell is wrong with _you_?" he asked disdainfully. "You can't honestly say you love that guy." 

"What's it to you?" 

"I distinctly remember you saying that you were saving yourself for love," he spat out and pushed her slowly backwards into the wall behind them, her wrist still in his grip. She flinched and raised her other hand to slap him, of which he caught and pinned above her head. "Don't ever try to hit me again." 

"Let me go." 

He smiled down at her as she struggled to free herself. 

"This is funny to you?" she asked as she glared back at him. 

"No, it's not funny," he replied as he lowered his head so his eyes were level with hers. "Tell me Quistis. Are you leading him on like you did me?" 

"Stop this and let me go," she insisted, and in her eyes were both fear and anger. 

Seifer could not explain why he felt so possessive of her. It wasn't like they'd even been a couple. He'd never been that way with any woman, let alone someone with whom he'd never done more than kiss. Still, in his mind, she was his, and she would always be his. Did that mean he wanted to marry her? No, he put no stock in the institution of marriage. It only meant that for whatever reason, he needed her. As he stood with his hands pinning her wrists to the wall, he wanted to kiss her, to make her his forever. 

"I will let you go if you answer me one question," he said and he was suddenly aware of the way her body felt next to his, the way the black lace of her bra looked against the milky white of her skin. He was aware of the way her eyes flashed with anger and the way her lips trembled with fear. He could smell something sweet on her skin, something like magnolia or jasmine. "Answer my question and I'll let you go," he whispered. "Dievol. Do you love him?" 

"That's none of your business," she hissed back. "Now let me go." 

"Not until you answer me," he insisted. He already knew she didn't love Dievol, but he wanted to hear her say it. "Do you love him?" 

"Why do you care?" she whispered as her eyes shifted away from his. 

"I guess the answer is no." 

"I never said that." 

"If you loved him, you wouldn't have a problem admitting it," he whispered and he let his eyes travel her face before he finally settled on her lovely eyes. There was a flicker of something there that made him want her in a bad way. The scent of her skin was driving him wild, the closeness of her body, too made him want to take her into his arms and make love to her. He wanted to wake up with her next to him in the morning. "_I_ love you, Quis. Can't you see that?" 

"Seifer," she whispered, and he saw the vulnerable little girl in her shine through as tears sprang to her eyes. "Please let me go." 

Instead of releasing her, he leaned forward and caught her bottom lip between his own. She made a muffled sound, and Seifer wasn't sure if it was of protest or pleasure, and for a split second, he didn't care, he just wanted to feel her lips on his. Then, he pulled away and looked at her face. The anger in her eyes had been replaced by something else, something he couldn't name, but he could tell from the flush in her cheeks that her response was not one of protest. 

As his lips met hers once more, he pinned both of her wrists beneath one of his hands so that he was free to touch her with the other. She no longer struggled against his grip, and her lips met his willingly, as hungry as his own. He drove his other hand through her hair, enjoying its silky texture against his fingertips. He wondered what the rest of her might feel like, what her body would feel like against his. 

What he felt for her went beyond mere lust. Lust he'd felt and acted upon many times, and though it was momentarily gratifying to take a woman into his bed to satisfy that need, he'd never wanted more than that from any of them. With Quistis, it was different. It wasn't just about the sex, there was much more to it than that. He wanted her body, heart, mind and soul, and tonight, Hyne willing, he'd have her.   
  
  


Quistis was shocked at her response to Seifer's kiss. She'd been so angry with him. She'd wanted to scream at him, hit him, hurt him for running Dievol off. He'd behaved like a child, like a jealous little boy, and that alone was enough to anger her, but he'd taken it even further by asking her questions she didn't want to answer. But with one single kiss, he'd turned it all around, and those feelings she'd managed to bury resurfaced in an instant. As his lips had touched hers, her anger melted away and it was as if she had no control over her mind or her body. 

Truth be told, as she'd been making out with Dievol on the couch, she'd been fantasizing that it was Seifer above her with his hands in her hair and his lips on hers. She wasn't all that interested in Dievol, though he was quite attractive. He was shallow, insecure and a little weak, though he masked this behind a guise intellect and arrogance. As easy on the eyes as he was, she'd never felt much for him, and she didn't know what she'd been thinking when she let him take her shirt off and touch her intimately. 

To have Seifer touch her the same way was infinitely more exciting. She loved the rough way he kissed her, the demanding way his hands roamed her skin. She couldn't deny that Seifer had always been passionate, and she would have been disappointed if he'd been tender with her. It wasn't his way to be gentle, for everything about him was raw and intense, and so it would be with this too. 

Part of her wanted to protest, to throw him out of her room and never see him again. But that was just her fear of giving herself over to him, her fear of letting herself open up to the possibility of something more. So, as his lips pressed hard against her throat, she did let go. She forced her mind to stop its endless reasoning and debate as he pinned her wrists to the wall above her head with one of his hands, and the other reached behind her to unclasp her bra. 

"Open your eyes," he breathed in her ear. 

She opened them and he brushed the hair away from her face. He was as serious as she'd ever seen him, and in his eyes, she could see the real Seifer Almasy. Not the arrogant bastard of her childhood, but the proud man behind the smokescreen, the warrior behind the mask. Despite all his roughness, he did have a heart, and he was capable of caring about someone other than himself. 

"Take me to bed," she whispered as his lips trailed along her collar bone.   
  
  


  
Seifer let go of her wrists and scooped her up into his arms, not needing to be told twice. He carried her to her room and laid her down on the bed, then shed his jacket and stripped off his clothes. The lamp beside the bed cast a soft pink light upon Quistis as she lay there, trembling lightly under his gaze. For several moments, he could only stand there and admire her in the soft light. She looked so innocent, so young with her hair spilling across the pillow like spun silk. 

"What's wrong?" she whispered and sat up. 

He shook his head and smiled down at her. Then, he lay down beside her and pulled her close. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she moaned in his ear as his hands took in every inch of her flesh. Quistis would be his, tonight, and he hoped for the rest of his life. 

  


======   
Notes   
====== 

Thank you for your reviews. It's good to be back, and it's good to be writing again. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter...*L* I actually had a lot of fun writing it, though it took me freaking forever....did you know love scenes are hard to write? 

Anyway, life is working itself out for me. I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself anymore, and being single is actually starting to be kind of fun. Be advised, after the next chapter or so, I will not post for a couple of weeks because I'm moving. Woohoo! Freedom! Life is good. 

by the way...if you're interested, I have a couple of things up on fictionpress.net...a little random poetry and the first chapter of a story I wrote a while back called "Project Lost Boys." Some of you might like it... 

So...I want some reviews! *L* 


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